1944

March 18, 1944

Dear Journal,

The winter was horrible I saw some people get frostbite and literally break off their toes. Over the winter Flora and Bekah lost weight as well as I. The rations here are pathetic Auschwitz as I know this place is called is truly 100% hell on earth, we hear cries all the time. Gunshots and screams and cries of the victims in the gas chamber as our barracks are right next to it. Over the winter while us three have been outside the barracks watching women, elderly and children walk to their deaths. Yesterday we sat there like usually when one women asked "Where are they taken us?" we said nothing just stared it is better that they don't know their fate. Sometimes in the barracks we fall asleep and wake up and neighbors in our bunk are dead.

Today I woke up at 4:30 like usually with Bekah and Flora food, roll call and we went off to the shop to work. Janina and the other girls we there and started working. A couple hours went by and we went to evening roll call with Janina. We lined up and were silent Sara also was beside Janina when she collapsed. Janina looked at me and said "Help me get her up" I went over and lifted Sara up she was dazed when an S.S guard came over and looked Sara up and down. Another guard was behind him I recognized the guard as Gunther who was pretty brutal. He said to his henchman "What shall we do with her?" the other remarked "send her to the infirmary" Gunther shook his head and chuckled "No we shall kill her" Janina stepped forward and quickly "No Sir please she is a good worker we need good workers." He then smacked Janina down and pulled his pistol out and shot Sara in the head. She dropped to the ground and laid lifeless. Tears burned in my eyes Bekah was leaning and I grabbed her to prevent her from falling. Janina still stood on the ground and Gunther said out loud "Let this be a warning to all of you. Do not try to undermine me. There is only one thing coming to you all death. Then he shot Janina. We eventually dismissed and taken to the barracks "if only she shut up" a girl said below us "She was standing up for a friend I don't blame her" Bekah shouted at the women she said nothing and we fell asleep.

April 30, 1944

Dear Journal,

We were summoned forward during roll call and taken towards the trains the kapo did not say much. "Where are they taken us" Flora asked me the kapo finally spoke "Your being transferred to another camp. Consider this a blessing Auschwitz is hell." I nodded I felt happy but also scared what would await us at this new camp?

We were put on the train at night. Again with no food, water just a bucket for a bathroom. Flora, Bekah and I huddled in a corner another few prisoners were huddled on the other side. We talked "What do you think the new camp will be like Adie" Bekah asked me. "Hopefully better than Auschwitz" I said Flora said nothing. I focused on the movements of the car and I looked out into the Polish countryside. Trees and little farms passed a few farmers looked on to the train passing. We sat in the corner and I drifted in and out of sleep. Into dreaming I went and then woke the second day, the day was long but finally arrived late in the afternoon. Again the cattle door was ripped open men yelling "out out quickly". German Shepherds barking. We huddled together and a women directed us to a building we women like us sitting at sewing machines. A kapo guard walking back and forth in the aisles making sure they were "working productively" one women was sitting at the machine her material got stuck the kapo went over and hit her on the shoulder with his whip "work faster" he shouted. All three of us were taken to three machines and we began work on the Weimarcht uniforms. Sewing the seams and such. We then went to get dinner and we received stale bread, watery soup and some type of tea or coffee. There we searched out for anybody to give us information were we were. One girl stepped forward "You three are new" she stated "Yes, may I ask were are we?". She blinked "You are in a labor camp its small mostly made up of women. Most do sewing and other such stuff we are near the Polish-German border." Bekah sighed "Are things generally okay here?" she hesitated "work is hard, there is no gas chamber but the guards are still happy to shot anyone this dislike or ins't working fast enough."

Bekah shuddered and Flora asked "who are you?" she answered "My name is Dita, what is yours" she questioned I answered "I am Adara, my sister Rebekah and our friend Flora." "We are you from" she asked "Munich originally, we lived in Rotterdam before we were deported" she nodded "I am from Prague" she said "we had a friend who was from Ostrava" Flora bellowed Dita smiled "Yes my grandmother was from there."

"Are you Jewish" she asked us we all nodded "Are there many Jews here?" Bekah asked "A few not very many maybe 50. Others are political prisoners I was in the Jewish resistance back in Prague." Dita showed us to our barracks it was quite packed with many women she told us "you all can sleep in my bunk." Bekah then said "Are there others that sleep in your bunk" Dita faced her and uttered "There was they are in the infirmary. They won't be back" my sisters face was truly frightened but I nudged her to get into the bunk and we all fell asleep. I laid thinking this place is not Auschwitz at least that was one thing I felt grateful for.

May 29, 1944

Dear Journal,

Another day in the factory, its the same every day. We wake up at dawn have stale bread with sawdust and nasty beverage and off to the sewing machines. After more bread a watery soup roll call then bed. I was sleeping when Bekah starting squirming "oh darn" she said under her breathe "What is it Bekah?" I asked somewhat annoyed wanting to go asleep after another exhausting day. "lice bloody lice" she sneered. Dita awoke "oh they are all over the place, and bed bugs. Your lucky you haven't been affected until now" Bekah sniffed "wonderful" she finally doze off and myself. The guard came in with his stick banging on the bunks. i jumped out and got out to get bread and a drink in the line. Bekah and Flora were behind me but Dita was no were to be found "Have you seen Dita?" I asked Flora she shook her head.

We grabbed our food and went to sit on the ground near our barracks there Dita ran over to us. "Where have you been Dita?" I snapped "I was making a deal with someone from the kitchen. Come this way." We followed her into the corner away from the guards. She took something out of her garment "A Potato?" Bekah asked "Ya we can share it its better than that bread" she split it up and then gave all three of us a piece."

It started raining and we were all rushed to work. I was seated at my machine the hours and hours slipped by. Shouting from the guards at other prisoners followed. He said to one "If I was in the Wehrmacht do you think I would be proud of these seams" he shouted and then beat the women he was speaking to. Bekah was rushing the women was only a few machines down from her and that particular guard Schulz was especially known to be cruel around the camp. Bekah said "Oh no" to her herself "What's the matter" I asked "The thread is stuck Adie". I looked and sure enough it was. I was going to help when Schulz appeared behind us. he screamed "Do you call this efficient" he shouted at Bekah then grabbed her by her arm and unto the floor and started to beat her. Tears were streaming down my cheeks a little but I kept working so I wasn't to be beaten. I felt bad for my sister after he commanded "Get back to work Bitch" he sneered Bekah went back to her machine and she tried to get the thread unstuck. The guard was no were in sight when I stopped and then got the machine going for her. She smiled a little a thank you. We went back to work when we were back in the barracks I asked "are you alright" she nodded "lets talk of something else" I nodded.

August 20 , 1944

Dear Journal,

Typhus was rapid in the camp, many were dying by the day. People who would die in the night were found in there bunk ice cold. We pulled them out and they were taken by a special teams of prisoners to the pits to be burned. We no had to crematorium, the pits were frightening. Dita, Flora, Bekah and I continued to work Dita was sick and so was Bekah but we kept going to work rather than be sent to infirmary. If we went there we would never be back I quite wonder what was happening in the war. When were we to be liberated and free I thought back to our time in Rotterdam. We had been in the camps for almost a year I can remember Azzie crawling, Mama cooking in the kitchen, Papa reading the newspaper Bekah and I talking in the living room. Hester, Flora and Maria coming from across the hall and chattering away the days before this hell. Bekah was lying in the bunk it was night her head against her forehead I touched it she was burning a fever a rash it was no doubt she probably had typhus. Great I thought to myself how am I supposed to help her. Dita also had a fever she knew she had typhus "What are we going to do?' I said panicked "let it ride its course. We do the best we can I am not going to that infirmary I'll die I don't want to die". The days past both got rashes , muscle pain and continuing fever. I was worried for Bekah she was not the same. She continued to work but she was out of it I didn't know what to do.

I kept working at night I gave my rations to Bekah hoping it would help her. Praying she would get better. I was in the bunk with her "Here Bekah" I gave her some bread"Mama, Mama" she questioned "No Bekah its Adie" I shook her she was clearly hallucinating. I pressed her forehead it was burning still might even be worse. "Dita what do we do" Dita had gotten better over the days. She was speechless looking at Bekah "I don't know" I rocked Bekah to sleep. In the morning we woke to the usual yelling Flora nudged me to get up "Adie Bekah won't get up" she said looking at me frightened I shook her "Bekah get up GET UP NOW!" Dita watched. Then she looked at Bekah and pressed her neck checking for a pulse "she's dead Adie" she muttered. Tears were streaming down my face "Rebekah wake up" I was still shaking her. Flora pulled me away from her and Dita moved her outside and laid her down she whispered kaddish for her. I went to work. The whole day it seemed unreal my sister was dead and there wasn't anything to change that. My mother, my brother and now my sister were all dead. Who did I have left? papa? who knows what happened to him, Gerrit?, I had Flora and Dita to survive this hell.

October 15, 1944

Dear Journal,

2 months went by after Bekah's death, we were again forced to work in the buildings mending uniforms. We were transferred across the border into Germany into another small labor camp near the town of Strausberg. It was a fabric factory myself, Flora and Dita were transferred we were moved into the barracks for the night. In the morning we began work again sewing away hours at a machine. A guard walking down the aisles however this camp was better than the previous. They were less people, work wasn't has hard and the guards were more sympathetic towards us.

We even caught snippets what was happening in the war from a fellow prisoner who overheard the guard. The allies are doing much better and Germany is no doubt losing but how much longer must we wait?

Flora was very sad throughout the months she had leaned so much on Bekah her best friend was gone, her mother, her father and who knows what happened to her sister and niece. I knew most likely that Hester and Maggie along with Hans were probably killed in a camp. She hoped they were alive but we both knew how unlikely that was to be.