Stubbornness and Staying

The room was warming up. Her fingers slid unconsciously on the fleecy curtains and gathered them on the side to welcome the growing light inside. Hayat watched the dramatic mixture of colors contrasting the current pale blueness of the sky, giving it a hue of majesty. Caught in the moment, she smiled, her suffering yielding to dissolve temporarily. Nature was indeed a blessing to mankind. It was a soothing force. A healing agent. A gift from the Creator.

The pristine atmosphere brought memories that were not too distant. She recalled having an early morning tea with her father a few Saturdays away, observing sunrise with keenness after completing Fajr, the first prayer of the day. She had felt a sudden rush of tranquility descend upon her and a profound spiritual connection with him. His face had been glowing as light had invaded the cosy study room of their house. Hayat had perked up at the pensive look that he was wearing. It heightened the fact that he was a deep thinker.

'' The sky blends with the day, sending the night away without any apparent regret. It does not wait for our approval or any sign from us. Even though at times, we want the night to trail a little longer or the day to go much faster. That's the reality of time. It moves according to its own pace with Allah's grace.'', he had stated.

''And us humans have to be in tow with time otherwise we would be lost in the chase.''

Hayat had smiled in acknowledgement of the truth in his words. And the memory still managed to ease her despite the tinge of added pain that it brought. She realized the reason her mind portrayed the reminiscence. To urge her to embrace her parent's death and get to grips with the ordeal. To remind her that she could be the source of her mother's vital moral support. She had to be there for Tahmid. For Hayder. She couldn't be lax. May be that could be the starting point of her healing. She inhaled determinedly. She should win this. She would overcome it.

Maira stood in the kitchen, mixing the batter for salted caramel crepes while Manha took cinnamon rolls out of the oven. They were working in sync, maintaining silence. While Maira felt hesitant to speak despite having lots to say, Manha was deep in the abyss of ruminations. They were going to have an urgent reunion later at the request of Manha's brother. Thus, everyone was going to have breakfast together.

The unusual silence was pricking Maira. She looked in the direction of her friend, ready to break the ice when her figure caught her eye. Manha's usually prominent cheekbones were now jutting out and a dark purplish tint surrounded her eyes. She had not noted her drastic lost of weight due to the abiding stress. A sharp twinge of guilt spiked Maira. She should have seen it earlier and prevented it from such aggravation. She chastised herself. She decided to broach the topic but Manha lowered her gaze and walked out with the tray of cinnamon rolls. She purposely eluded her.

'Never mind pal. You won't have a next chance.' Maira grumbled mentally.

She was going to fix the madness anyhow. Manha had to better start eating.

Hayat clenched her fists while schooling her face into that of indifference. She essayed to reign in the irritation that was surging her veins. It was getting difficult by the passing minute. Her mind was boggled with the events changing swiftly. She was looking at the mouth of Khalid, her mother's brother, which was moving concisely. Her eyes flickered to the other person seated next to him, Shahzeb, the husband of her maternal aunt, who was cementing each point that Khalid was bringing to light. Both men whom she was not close to but had deep respect for since she could remember. And it was the exact respect that was holding her back from lashing out.

Some part of her mind acknowledged that they were not wholly wrong. But her family and herself needed time. They could not immediately pack their bags and leave for their uncle's place. It seemed too much to ask for. They hadn't even come to terms with the passing away of her dad. She understood the reasons and worries of her uncle, but conceding to his proposal looked like an atrocity on their souls. They needed a proper closure first. Hayat could safely say that her mother was not keen with the notion either, at least not for the time being. It would be like uprooting them from their soils. She glanced at the passive face of Hayder who was standing with arms crossed, hearing the words intently. But the mediocre twitching of his temple gave him away. The guy was fuming in quietude. Though that was a significant issue and it was expected, Hayder was finally reacting to something after a long time. Mostly he would be brooding in a secluded corner or within the walls of his bedroom. It felt good to see him respond even if it was mere anger. Signs of his return.

''Brother, you are correct. Manha does need to heal, she indeed must be surrounded by her close ones. But taking her away from here right now, does not seem wise.''

''Fahad, see you agree that I'm not incorrect. There will be my wife, our kids, even my in laws there. So what if our parents are no more? It still remains her maternal home. She will be comfortable and cared for.''

''Uncle, lets not forget Hayat's education. We may not be attending classes at the moment but in a matter of 3 months, our official exams will start.'', Hayder interrupted.

''We can think about that later.'', bleated Shahzeb.

''Naah, Hayder is right. Education is a priority uncle.'', Hayat chimed in.

''You are not making this easy, beta*. I understand your plight but please, this is in the interest of your mother.'', Khalid added.

''Bhai!.'', Manha spoke at last. ''Hum nahi chalenge*. I'm fine here. And as far as close ones are concerned, I have a family here Alhamdulillah*. Hayder, Haitham and Sahl are my kids. Maira my long lost sister and Fahad bhai my other brother.''

At her words, Khalid's patience snapped. He was maintaining his composure since a while but their stubbornness put an end to it. He got up with Shahzeb and announced that they were booking their return tickets. Nobody intervened. The events had to unravel in similar ways. The grieving people were in search of stability and ways to reunify their own beings. They were not looking for temporary distractions or confusions which would only worsen their condition.

Glossary

Beta - child Hum nahi chalenge - We won't go Alhamdulillah - All praise be to Allah (an Arabic expression often used to express one's gratitude towards the Lord)