CHAPTER 3-Life in the Bubble of my Reality

The girl from my dreams appear in my head again. She holds the same quality, I don't know how I know, but I do; I can feel that she takes responsibility just like Jake. I shiver lightly, what was she was so scared of having me see, she says in many of my dreams that her pain isn't for her, but for me, why? It all circled in my head until I was startled by the door slam, we were already home. I call this place my home, this is my family. I get to choose my family, I choose them.

I get out, looking down the bumpy, long, dirt driveway before I follow Jake inside the decently sized home, it was elegant and clean per usual. It is full of knickknacks from the changing times. I am sneak attacked by Liz who hid behind the door waiting for me to enter their home. As I am attacked by Liz, I can't help but admire her, she is gorgeous. Her kind naturally has some sort of spell over humans to make them seem charming but even without it, she would undoubtedly be beautiful. Liz has a petite body shape and a large full smile; full of happiness.

It used to be something I despised her for but now, it's something I've grown to love. She has wavy reddish brown hair and hazel eyes full of wonder. Holding all the essence of a child, something I feel should be cherished in a world like this. I know by her happiness, that she is completely unaware of Jake's struggles or pain, I also know he won't be telling her.

Baron gave me confirmation that no one but Trent, Jake and myself knew of last night's events seeing as he is relaxing, sprawled out on the large sofa couch, angled oddly to see the T.V screen. I feel my heart beat pick up. Baron is more than gorgeous, charming or beautiful. He is never limited by his looks, instead it's more like his existence is heightened by his soul. Baron has the most boyish way about him but his personality makes me aware there are so many more beautiful things in this world, even if I can't see them, I know he sees them. He sees beauty, he sees worth. It isn't his spectacular looks but the supernatural charm that his playful spirit holds, that drive me to love him. I love all of them, I would give my life in a heartbeat to keep them safe.

Baron and me -we have a connection. It's as if we're all waiting to see if it turns romantic or not, but we have yet to see. Liz has already given me the okay to date her brother. We aren't dating; but I won't pretend it wasn't a relief to have permission. Baron is the only person I'm not afraid to be...me around. I like when he's around, I'm free to be who I am, and I feel like he doesn't care how ugly I am. I just feel alive around him.

Liz has never been very serious, it's like being serious is impossible for her, unless it's something that has to do directly with her, a flaw of liz's personality that's bearable. Her permission was spoken just as jokingly as anything else she says, but her eyes told me that she meant every word.

I feel myself smiling when all of a sudden there is a hand waving in front of my face. I blink and Liz announces proudly, "Bloom! I made it my mission to save your horrid sense of style!" She grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs to her room. Polar opposites I think while smiling. If Liz is anything, it is being the exact opposite of myself.

The past three days have passed by in a blur. I couldn't focus on anything whether it was school, or friends. Nothing but Breelena-Marie filled my mind, and the dark painful pictures from my dreams never ceasing . I decided some time during those hours that I'm not going home yet. I'll stay until I'm asked to leave, going home is so pointless.

I walk down the stairs pulling my brown hair into a ponytail, It's Saturday 1:00 pm. "It's too early." I groan as I pour my milk in my bowl of cereal. Jake typically cooks breakfast at six in the morning when he gets back home from the cellar. He's an excellent cook, but I can't justify setting my alarm to eat. I sit in the old recliner, eating like a pig, not giving a damn because it is too early to care. I turn on the T.V to find a horror film; watching the people run like stupid scared rats to get away from a cheesy killer. I turn the remote to the flat screen to change it when Baron came in front of me, his body blocking the television. Baron then takes the remote, and sits in the arm chair. "Hey!" I yell in a mocking tone. I know by his half grin he is in a playful mood.

"Hey." Baron mumbles trying not to smile- unsuccessfully. Jake comes in wearing his normal clothes, his shirt smugly fitting him, bringing attention to his broad and toned body. His hair tousled and lazily left unbrushed, his eyes shine bright, I know he is also in a good mood, which is a nice change from last night. "I'm going for a run I'll see you guys later tonight before chain up or tomorrow if I run out of time. Love ya guys, see ya later!"

Liz comes out in her stylish, bright yet elegant cream colored tank top paired with a small jacket that looks like a multicolored, stained glass pattern. Add some white skinny jeans and I'm looking upon a model in her own clothing line. The combinations of clothes wasn't abnormal for Liz but always somehow reminded me of a small mix between the 80's and today's fashion. It didn't matter much though that many of her clothes were old because if anyone were to set a fashion statement, it would be her. It is her,constantly, in fact.

"Whatever, see ya later." She sits down and starts scolding me with a death glare and a pouty face for not wearing the outfit she gave me yesterday.

"Sorry." I said trying to act like I care at all, I widen my eyes and draw in a shaky breath. My eyes brim with watery tear but I can't hold my composure and end up laughing. Liz holds her frown and turns to stare at the T.V.

I had decided earlier to take a shower to calm down and clear my head of the bloodbathed girl that visited my dreams again last night.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." I stand and announce to be sure no one will barge in, and partly, even though they don't care I feel it's rude to just use people's things without asking.

"Sure, have fun." Baron answers jokingly.

"Ha, I'll try. I'll be down in a bit." I turn and bound my way up the stairs to go to 'my' room to get spare clothes and a towel. Every time Baron speaks my heart pounds a little faster but 'my' room is a safe place in all ways. Safe from my feelings, safe from my pain, simply safe .

'My' room is really the guest room but I've spent the majority of the past two years here and we permanently decked out the room to my liking, we put in better bedding and I remember asking if I can paint the room and with permission, I have fallen into the habit of splatter painting my room every time I get upset over my father. They don't know what he does to me or if they do, they don't say anything. We don't talk about family much. They don't have anyone but each other and I have no one but them. The walls are such a light blue it can be confused for white, splattered with streaks of red, green, blue and purple. My bed is large and high quality- my room here is ten times more 'homey' than my real room with my single mattress on the floor. A mattress that's old, and has holes and springs popping out. The only word to describe it is 'bleak'. Bleak against my dark and depressing wooden walls.The fact that I'm able to sleep in a room like this one in comparison to my real room is more than enough to make me smile. I shut the light off as I make my way to the bathroom.

I stand in front of the mirror, observing my own body. It's the exact same as my face, it's very ordinary. I judge my reflection as if it weren't my own. I hate myself but honestly I can't find out why. I mean yes, I'm flawed but so is everyone. I wish I could explain why it is my pale pudgy belly is such a problem for me. If I were skinnier, I wouldn't like that either so why? Why hate how my breasts are not fitting a D cup when I know if they did I would wish them smaller? Objectively speaking, my self hate contradicts itself, is unnecessary and illogical but because I am not unfeeling, it is always apparent.

Sighing I step into the hot wave of water, the shower seems to rinse away my tension because I can't really feel anything but the heat. I shut my eyes and think about the deepest of topics; my tranquility disturbed by the booming sound of a door slamming into the wall down stairs, I take a sudden inward breath and flinch. It's never this loud in this house. I mean, it was only 20 minutes or so since I got in. I hear loud inaudible voices and commotion. I tense intentionally before releasing the strain, trying to get rid of the eerie, horror movie feeling. Hurrying to drying my body and put clothes on, I slightly rush down stairs to see what is causing such abnormality.

I am halfway down the staircase when I see what is going on. There is a lot of movement and I can feel the worry and tension like a thick fog in the home. I see Liz leaning over, holding an assumingly wet rag to a deathly skinny girls ashen face. Liz's tanner skin tone makes the girl seem paler then she must be.

I attempt to rationalize her appearance in my mind; I feel a jab in my heart filled with radiating pain and irritation. I try to breathe as one should and work through the sight before me, It is then that I realize who it is.

The girl in my nightmares was laying there, possibly dead, right before my eyes. Liz, Jake, and Baron stare at me not understanding my reaction to her as I averagely respond quickly to any type of rush. I can not take my eyes off of the girl, yet I can see the whole room in my mind. Baron starts speaking, breaking the silence. "Jake found her almost dead on the forest ground. She was bloody and had deep gashes in her head. A man was beating her when Jake ran onto the scene but Jake didn't get him, just worked on getting her here. Liz ran back to the spot it all happened but the man is gone."

I feel light headed and the room started to move and seem hot. Quickly, I realize the room I'm seeing in my mind is nothing but an image I've created, my eyes see nothing but blurr. I know this feeling, except this time, I welcome fainting. I just want to fall asleep and wake up from this, hoping it was just another one of my nightmares; I don't faint fast enough. In one quick motion, for one bizarre moment of time, I can see but I can see only the girl. It truly is like a nightmare. The girl opens her eyes and shoots up to see all of us, when her scared eyes flashed against mine the entire world falls into a whirlpool of dark, I feel the floor come rushing up towards me. My last thought before I am submerged in a dreamless sleep is how much more powerful those blue eyes are in person.