Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Sandra Lawson
We were walking to the bookstore where Sandra worked, Avery looked nervous as we walked, I was thinking more about the fact that Avery has been holding my hand since we left Barnes and Noble. She let go as we started to get near the store, I saw a blond women standing outside, she looked like she was waiting for someone, till she saw us she came running at full spend.
"AVERY!"
"SANDRA!"
They looked like little kids at how the were hugging, Avery started to shout out of pain, Sandra must have hugged her a bit too tight, Avery may be small, slowly she is getting her meat back on her bones. Both Sandra and I noticed as we both looked her with concern
"I'm fine, just don't do that, next, heads up." Avery said making Sandra laugh
"I am so sorry! I forgot your small but I never knew you were so small, never saw your body till no- I'm sorry, you must be her girlfriend-
"Oh no!"
"No."
We looked at each other, embarrassment washed over my face as we both new she must have seen us holding hands.
"Oh? Just friends? Wait, lets get into the store now, I have someone new working today and they don't really like...people." We walked behind Sandra as we walked into the store, we went to sit at a table as she ran off somewhere. As we sat, I looked at all the books, it was a bookstore with a café inside.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know she was so-
"Energetic?"
"Yep, she's about your age, only your a year older."
"I'm not-
"Your birthday is soon, don't lie, I read your file remember? Your info is on there."
I forgot that.
"Oops? I don't want to make a big deal out of it, we can do what you want that day."
"Well, just stay in and eat pizza and talk about whatever, like we always do then I want to go out to dinner with my family to celebrate, and you can't say anything."
"OK, whatever makes you happy."
"You do so I'll be fine."
"I do?"
"Yes, also, Sandra only thinks your my girlfriend because I think she saw us-
"Holding hands? Kind of thought as much."
"You getting back at me for all the times I-
"Interrupted me? Oh definitely."
We shared a smile and as we did a loud band could be heard on the table, we both jumped and saw a big box on our table as Sandra popped out from behind.
"THIS, is the books you ordered as well as your dads and that gift-
"SHHHHHHH!"
"OH SORRY!" I looked at Avery and Sandra's faces, I could see they were having an argument with their eyes as they sat next to each other.
"I'm gonna get something for us to drink, Sand-
"I will have whatever your gonna have...what is your name?" She must have known, she is a terrible actor
"Jamie Scott."
"Sandra Lawson." I nodded as I walked off, well Avery has a friend, she's a bit much for Avery but it's a friend.
Avery:
"Is that who you bought those books for?"
"Yes, San, and you nearly said it to!"
"Is she also the-
"The girl? Yep, and you will not say anything, as well as keep your mouth shut!"
"OK, OK! JEEZ, how old is she?"
"27, going to be 28 in 3 days-
"SHE IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN YOU!"
I put my hand over her mouth, she is 27 and has THIS much energy?
"Yes, 8 years, so what?"
"Your parents wont like that."
"You don't know my parents-
"I know them well enough to know they will be dead against this, she is older and also YOUR SPONSOR!"
"Say it louder, I don't think half of Manhattan heard you!"
She bit her lip and sighed
"Does she know?"
"Yes, she knows just as well as you do and everyone else. I feel selfish to feel this way."
"Honey, it's love, it is supposed to make you feel like that."
"You think I love her?"
"The way you talk about her, look at her and you held her hand?"
"I don't get out, I get very nervous and-
"She calms you down?"
"Is everyone going to do that today? And yes she does, I trust her. What is so bad about that?"
"It's just, wow, your both being so obvious and yet nothing, I am going to need to help you both-
"No, you will do nothing!"
"Avery-
"I just meet you, despite talking to you over the phone, you in person is very, I don't know..."
"Everyone says that."
Before I could answer, Jamie sat back down.
Jamie:
I sat back with the coffee's, I was told at the checkout, I didn't have to pay, because I was sitting with the manager. I passed out the drinks as Avery and Sandra looked at me with weird smiles.
I smiled back.
"Is something-
"I HAVE TO GO, THAnk you for the coffee, here are the books, and if you guys want anymore, just say my name to the checkout then it'll be free." She is the strangest person I have ever meet, she hugged Avery and patted my hand as she walked away, I gave Avery a stare.
"She's weird I know, but she's a friend, be happy I have a friend."
"I am happy you have a friend, she's sweet just, reminds me of a hyper bunny."
We laughed
"We should get going."
"Why?"
"You have treatment today, last of chemo before radiation?"
"Oh, yeah, I was kind of hoping you'd forget."
"Nope, I got you something for it."
"For- OH MY GOD! HES SO CUTE!" Avery screamed as she held the husky tight to her chest, I smiled as she looked to love the gift
"Thank you Jam." She stood to hug me, kissing my check before she sat back down looking at the dogs eyes
"It is for the hospital, so you don't have to hold my hand when the needle goes in, and now with radiation, he'll be waiting for you when your outside."
"I love him, thank you really, but I'm still going to hold your hand."
We shared a smile before we made our way to leave, I had to carry the books, luckily we got a taxi to the hospital. Once we were there we did what we always do, but this time Dr. Osborne was there.
He gave a smile as we walked in but looked confused with the box as I placed it down. Avery went to sit down as he began to check her before he did the chemo. I was confused, she was only supposed to see him in a few weeks.
"May I ask why your here and not Dr. Kimberly?" Avery was the one to ask
"Well, she is still working just I had to check on you today, I have heard your getting out more, which is good but your father called telling me he found lumps of hair in your trash as well as bloody tissue's, and I need to ask you to take the hat off."
"Why?"
"Avery you've lost hair before-
"But not this bad."
Avery looked like she wanted to cry, regardless, she took her hat off, I gasped. Her hair was VERY short and there were chucks missing, I put my hand on hers.
"Avery, why didn't you say something?"
"I haven't lost my hair this bad, never been able to actually PULL it out like this and the bloody tissue's? It's the coughing."
Dr. Osborn and I look at each other, I bit my lip at his face, he looked as if he knew what this meant.
"I'm going to check everything else then I'll have Mara Jean prep you and cut your hair again ok? Miss Scott, I need to have a word with you afterwards."
I nodded as he began to check Avery, she was told to breathe a few times but ended up coughing, he checked the normal things as well as her bones, he seemed happy she has gained a little bit of weight. After he was done, Mara Jean was called in, she has everything ready as well as a pair of scissors, I felt a hand on my arm, it was Dr. Osborn pulling me out.
We stood a bit far from the room, Dr. Osborne looked to the floor.
"Dr-
"Please call me Bobby, that's my full name not Bob."
"OK, Bobby, what did you need to tell me?"
"The chemo isn't working, well, not fast enough to cure her, we are going to stop for only 2 weeks to try radiation, we could do both but it'll make her worse. She isn't getting better Miss Scott, she's dying, faster if I could say, I said to her parents, she will lie to see New Years but I'm afraid she wont make it to see October."
I looked at him
"She's dying faster? Why do the treatment if it's not working?"
"That is why we are trying radiation, if it makes it worse, then we go back to chemo, it is really up to Avery if she want's to stop or not."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"I know how closer you both are, I can see you care deeply for her-
"So you tell me this first to break me more?"
"No, I needed you to know so when her parents know, you wont have unexpected news."
"Your making no sense, they should know first-
"And they will know, I'm going to phone them now, you know now so you can tell Avery."
"WHAT!?"
"She's smart, if you don't say anything, I know her parents wont say anything, she will find out herself. That's what happened last time."
I wanted to slap him for making me do this. I moved closer to him , his eyes said he was sorry, I knew he had been Avery's doctor since day one, he watched he get better and worse as well as watch her grow up, I remember him saying she is like a daughter to him. I looked him in the eye
"Slap me, I know you want to, this isn't what I wanted the news to be, if I could have let it be anything else, trust me, I would let it be but this world doesn't let us have what we want." As he said that I moved away, turning to go back to Avery, Nurse Mara Jean was busy cutting her hair, I stood at the door, thinking how am I going to tell her she is going to die sooner. Avery was getting her hair cut into a pixie cut, there weren't as many patches of hair missing, it looked nice, she looked pretty.
I was trying not to cry, this was just like when I had to tell my dad about my mom. I walked over to sit next to Avery after Mara Jean was done, I took her hand in mine, I didn't want to tell her this.
"Like it?"
"Love it."
She smiled but stopped when she saw my expression change.
"What did Dr. Osborne say?"
"Avery..."
"How long?"
"4 months at best, he said you wont see October even, treatment is not working, he said you can decide if you want to continue after these 2 weeks of radiation."
She looked away from me
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I do, I didn't want to be the one to tell you."
"I would have found out one way or another, I kind of figured I was getting worse, just didn't expect it to be true."
She looked at me, holding my hand close to her heart
"Feel that? My heart is still beating, wont be for long but when I am with you, my heart beats like this. Only for you." I started to cry after she said it, I got up to carefully hug her, I just wanted to hold her. Maddie was right, I should have stopped this. I'm stuck, and now I know for sure I will lose her.
"Shitty way to end a nice day."
I laughed through the tears. I could feel her smile into my shoulder as I held her closer, seeing the teddy behind her.
I pulled away, wiping my eyes.
"What did you name him?"
"Cutie, since he is cute and someone cute gave it to me." She gave a small smile, as i held her hand again, mimicking what she did.
"Feel that? My heart will always beat this way for you, even after your gone."
This, this was one of those moments where you wish you could freeze time and stay in forever, I never had that feeling with anyone. I really wish we had more time. I wish I meet her sooner.