Chapter 15
Sister, sister
"YOU HAD NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT TO DO WHAT YOU DID! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID!?" I threw my coat off, looking at Maddie dead in the eyes as she moved to stand by the couch, her arms were folded, bothered that I had shown up so late.
"Jamie, its late, why-
"Wait, your pulling that? REALLY!? Question, where are your pants first and second, I don't care that it's late!"
"Sandra just left, she took my pants-
"EW, in my bed? REALLY?!"
"AT LEAST SHE'S MY AGE!"
"SHUT UP! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"
"HAVE SEX? I DON'T-
"NOT THAT! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT! YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!"
"IF I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, WOULD YOU HAVE TOLD THEM?"
"NO, BECAUSE WE KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, JUST BECAUSE YOUR MAD AT ME FOR NOT STOPPING THIS, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CALL HER MOTHER AND RAT US OUT LIKE WE ARE SOME DRUG DEALER GANG! YOUR MY SISTER, I WOULD THINK-
"THAT I WOULD COVER FOR YOU?! KEEP IT A SECRET!? ARE YOU INSANE!? THEY NEEDED AS WELL AS DESERVED TO KNOW JAMIE!"
"WELL, THANK TO YOU, A FIGHT BROKE OUT-
"SO-
"MR. MACK ALMOST HIT ME, HE CALLED ME A WHORE, MRS. MACK ONLY IS LETTING ME STAY THERE BECUASE I LOVE HER, YOU NEARLY COSTED ME-
"YOU KNEW YOU WOULD LOSE YOUR JOB THE MOMENT YOU STARTED LIKEING HER! DON'T YOU DARE PULL THAT YOU PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE! WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP WHEN I SAID YOU MUST!?"
"YOU CAN'T DECIDE THAT FOR ME!"
"SHES DYING-
"I KNOW-
"I DON'T THINK YOU DO-
"FUCK YOU!"
"AM I GOING TO HAVE TO BASH YOUR HEAD SO YOU WILL LISTEN-
This was waiting to happen, I smacked her hard in the face, she held her cheek, lunging at me, throwing me to the ground, thing is this is how we resolved fights between us.
I was on the ground as Maddie was holding me in a headlock while sitting on my back, I kicked her with my foot In the back, making her fall off me, I took this chance to grab her and throw her back to the floor, she grabbed my hands before I could and kicked my feet from under me. Laying on the floor, she grabbed my head.
"We are 28, this is not how we should settle this-
"Your right." I took my free hand and whammed her in the face, she fell back to the floor, holding her nose as she knocked over the table making the vase of flowers fall to the ground, making glass go everywhere, I went to grab her by the shirt, picking her up and head butting her hard in the nose again. She screamed in pain as I stood back, as I moved she grabbed my ankle, making me fall and hit my head on the floor, she went to hit me as I blocked her punches, but my arm moved as she got me in the lips.
"OW!"
"PAY BACK!" She then picked me up and body slammed me on the ground, knocking all the wind out of me. Gasping as I held my hands up as she grabbed my shirt to hit me again.
"TRUTHS! TRUTHS!"
She let go of my shirt, wiping the blood of her nose, I did the same with my lip. She walked to get ice for her nose, I sat up, as she came back with an ice pack on her face, and iced peas for me, but she kicked me in the stomach, then threw the bag at me. I held my stomach as she went to sit down.
"So, who won?"
"REALLY?!" I shouted at her, still holding my stomach as I coughed a bit, tying to get the pea bag to put on my face. I lay on my back as I didn't answer her. Call us crazy but this always helps us, we get no where with arguing so we fight to see who wins then we can talk normally.
"I think I did. Now, why didn't you stop?"
I looked at her.
"I tired, I did. Believe me or not, I did, but I couldn't stop that feeling of loving her, I just had to admit I really love her to both her parents and considering you threw me to the ground, I will not say it to you." She leaned forward.
"I didn't want to tell her mother but I was shocked, not even my girlfriend could explain to me what was going on between you two, I found the shirt after I was cleaning up because I spilled water from the flowers Sandra got me, which are now on the floor thanks to you. I knew whose it was and what it meant, I was calling you, but I got the number wrong, then after I stopped talking to her I called Sandra to come over, we talked but she didn't say anything, other than she thinks it might be true."
"And that lead to you having sex?"
"Jamie."
"Madison."
"Don't call me that, you know I hate it-
"I know, that's why I am saying it."
"Your an ass."
"That I am highly aware of after today."
We sat in silence for a bit, I still was on the floor as my lip was throbbing, I went to stand up. Coughing again as I held my stomach, I walked over to the couch to sit next to Maddie. I stared at the blank TV as did Maddie.
"I'm surprised we didn't break the TV." Maddie broke the silence.
"I do love her."
"I know."
"Then why are you mad?"
"I have a right to be and because I don't want to see you get hurt again."
"I can look after myself."
"I know but not when it comes to that."
I look at Maddie, she turns her head to face me. I roll my eyes but I know she's right. When my mother died I didn't leave my room for months, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to move, if Maddie hadn't pulled my out of bed on day and forced me out, I think I would still be stuck there.
"How am I going to explain my face when I get back?"
"Easy, say I beat your ass for being a dumbass."
"Shut up. I won."
"Your face says otherwise."
"So does yours, as well as your flowers ,I'm not sorry for doing that."
"I know, neither am I. You are going to tell Sandra how the her vase got broken, not me."
"Yeah, I know, we really should stop fighting like that."
"Nope. I like beating your ass."
We shared a laugh as I stood to leave, throwing the peas at her as I went to get my coat, Maddie followed me to the door. She gave me a tight hug before I left.
"Call me if she gets worse."
"I will. Keep my house clean and keep sex out of my bed." With that I went back to my car, hearing her shout prick to me as I got into my car. I took a slow drive.
I didn't want to go back just yet but I knew I had to go back sometime. Driving around Manhattan is not something I haven't not done, when ever I need to clear my head I drive, if I am angry, I speed but normally would stop somewhere to scream in my car. I once did this in a parking lot and the guard's came to ask if something was wrong, I then had a heavy talk with the guard as he asked me to keep this away from the public.
I think I should just get back before it's to late.
As I made it back to the house, everything was off so I knew no one knew I had left, walking to see if Avery was still sleeping, she had moved to her other side but she was still sleeping, thankfully, I knew if she saw what Maddie did to my face she would murder her.
I went to my room to clean up, taking my shoes off as I sat on the bed and stripping my clothes off, walking to brush my teeth. As I turned the light on I noticed the big blue mark on my lip, as well as under my eye was a bit black, my knuckle's were a bit red from hitting Maddie. I lifted my shirt to see if there was a buries, there wasn't but the rash was still there, it was getting bigger and redder. I leaned against the sink as I stared at myself, I am an idiot I know but you can't help who you fall for. Even if they are dying or not the right age, love has no limit in my opinion, and what makes my love for Avery any different? Brushing my teeth, I spat and went to bed, not bothering to change, my back hurts from Maddie throwing me on the floor, at least it wasn't the wall or table like last time. Why she said she's surprised we didn't break the TV, last time we fought I actually threw the TV at her, bad I know but she bought a new one for me since it was her fault the fight broke out.
I hope things are better in the morning.
Laying down, I let the tears fall freely as I let the aftermath of everything settle in, the realization hitting me, the fear, she wasn't even gone but it felt like she has. Dr. Osborn said to me after Avery's surgery, I had gone to fight with him to but I didn't tell anyone. He said I can blame him but he didn't ask for Avery to be take away from us nor did he give her this. HE was the one who told me to my face that I care about her deeply, making me realize I wanted her.
I want to play God and stop this from taking her, stop her pain, stop the pain of her parents, even the pain of the doctors and nurses.
Greif makes you do horrendous things. When my mother died, my father wouldn't stop drinking while I never left the house, I think the lose of my mother made him sick, I had to tell him, the doctor couldn't get ahold of my dad so they phoned me, she passed in hospital. I never got to say goodbye to her nor did my dad, he was actually getting her flowers but never got to give them to her. I don't want to think what Avery's death will make me do or what it will make her parents do. I hope this doesn't lead them to divorce, many parents when they lose a child separate because it hurts to much to be with them when the life they made together was gone, some rely on their kids to keep them together.
We can never prepare for death. But if we knew how to we would still not know. Some don't even know it's going to happen till it happens, some are taken away to soon and some we never want to say goodbye to though we have no choice but to. I don't want to lose her, I know I have to say goodbye but I don't know how to.
How do you say goodbye when you know it means forever.