Chapter 24: Dawn's Story

OCTOBER 31, 2001, SENIOR YEAR

"I'm so sorry, Ben," Dawn wailed on the other end of the line. "I ... I ... I think I just cheated on you."

An icy chill went through my bones. I had no right to be angry. After all, I was just as guilty as Dawn.

But I was.

My girlfriend had cheated on me. I'd trusted in her fidelity and she'd cheated on me. Dawn had taken some... other ... man inside of her special place, a place that belonged to no one but me. FUCK I was mad.

So maybe she had the right to be mad at me, too, given what I'd just done with Adrienne. But I still had the right to be mad at her.

"Ben, let me explain," Dawn whimpered desperately after a few seconds of silence. "There was this Halloween party and I'd had a couple of drinks. But-"

No more words came through the cell phone speaker. I'd already hit the END- button to cut her off. My lips were a hard line and my teeth slowly grinded against each other. Adrenaline flooded my veins and I felt my muscles tensing. At first, I tried squeezing the phone so hard to try and crush it. But when that failed, I simply opened my hand and let it fall harmlessly onto my bed.

And then I stood up.

My head hurt.

I don't remember returning to Adrienne's house. Had anyone seen me leave my house again?

But the fact was that I WAS in Adrienne's house. I was standing outside her bedroom door. And without knocking, I silently walked back into the room like a Terminator devoid of a single care in the world.

Adrienne was still on the bed, the blanket covering her naked body as she curled on her side in the fetal position while bawling her eyes out. She didn't even notice my approach until she felt my weight on the mattress beside her. But when she did, she abruptly stopped crying and turned around, her makeup streaked by her tears. "Ben?"

Despite the righteous fury in me and adrenaline-fueled tension in my arms, I reached out to Adrienne with surprising gentleness. I stroked her cheeks with the backs of my fingers and brushed her tears away. And then cupping the gorgeous girl's head in my hand, I bent over and kissed her softly.

Adrienne moaned into my kiss as I lowered myself to the bed beside her, drawing the blanket off her body and tossing it away to once again reveal her glorious naked body. I pulled my shirt off and lay parallel to her, bringing up my other hand to stroke her cheek until we finally had to break apart for air.

"You came back?"

"I should never have left, Adrienne," I said softly. "Dawn and I can't work out. She's way out there and the distance is just too much. But you, you're right here. You're flesh and blood in my hands," I said in a tight voice while my hand moved down her shoulder and across a fabulously firm and round breast.

"Oh, Ben ... I love you," she sighed and melted into my kiss once again.

We made out with a passion for another few seconds before I pulled my head back and looked carefully into her eyes. I took a deep breath and firmly, I replied, "I love you too, Adrienne."

She blinked rapidly as her eyes took on a look of utter and complete happiness, and then Adrienne was passionately kissing me once again while frantically tugging at my shorts. "Oh, Ben! Oh, Ben! I need you, Ben! Make me whole. Love me. Protect me! Make me a part of your family! I'll always be with you! Forever and always!"

Quickly, I was as naked as she and once again, I rolled on top of Adrienne with my hands pinning her wrists back to the bed while she willingly submitted herself beneath my control.

"Make love to me, Ben! Make love to me. I NEED you."

This was PERFECT. Adrienne was stunningly beautiful. Her naked body was a work of art that rivaled anything in the mind's eye of the greatest sculptors in the world. And she was giving herself to ME.

Revenge ... Dawn had cheated on me. I'd gotten the blowjob but I'd stopped myself short of fucking someone else ... until now. Now I would complete it and we'd be even. I'd fuck Adrienne's brains out. I'd give her so many orgasms she passed out from pleasure. And while she was still unconscious, I'd flip her over and violate her ass.

"Ben!" Adrienne whimpered. "You're holding my wrists a little too tight."

I looked down at her and saw the tight grip on her wrists. Automatically, I loosened them just a bit. And in that otherworldly calm voice I didn't realize I had, I said, "I'm going to fuck you now."

"Not just a fuck, Ben," Adrienne whimpered. "Gently. Gently make love to me."

I wanted to FUCK. I wanted to VIOLATE Adrienne. I wanted to take out my anger and aggression and pound this slut into submission!

The phrase came into my head: "She's not a slut."

"What?"

I blinked quickly, not realizing I'd said it out loud. Where had I heard that phrase before?

And then I remembered: Felicia.

Just when I was righteously angry at Dawn and looking for a revenge fuck, Felicia had presented herself and we'd come oh, so close to screwing. But Felicia badmouthed both her ex-boyfriend Greg and had called Dawn a slut, triggering my indignation. Whatever Dawn was, she was not a slut.

And neither was Adrienne.

Sure, she was more promiscuous than most and she had quite a few boyfriends. But she didn't screw around indiscriminately. She was a female stud, not a slut. And out of my care for her, I resented anyone calling her a slut.

Even me.

"Ben? Ben?" Adrienne whimpered and wriggled her hips, trying to notch my cock inside her.

"Sorry, nothing." I shook my head and looked down. Adrienne deserved better than this. She didn't deserve to be used by me. And with some regret, for the second time in one night I pulled my cock away from her wet, inviting pussy.

"Ben!" Adrienne wailed as I rolled away.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. You don't deserve it."

"What?"

"I just found out Dawn cheated on me," I breathed heavily. "I came over here to fuck you in revenge."

"No! You came back because you love me, right?" Adrienne whimpered. "Yeah, you made a mistake calling her name earlier, but that's forgivable. She's your girlfriend. But you came back to me, Ben! You came back to me! I NEED you!"

"I can't do this."

"Please!"

"I'm sorry." I got up and walked away again.

DAWN

AUGUST 2001, SUMMER BREAK

"Fuuuuuuuuck," I groaned, feeling quite dizzy. That last orgasm had been one of the most intense I'd ever given myself. Sure, I'd jilled off to porn videos before. But I'd never jilled off to what amounted to a porn video of my boyfriend and his little sister.

On the screen, I watched Brooke hanging her head down between her shoulder blades. Behind her, Ben slowly retracted back. I couldn't actually see his cock from this angle, but I knew the thick, veiny, muscular shaft was inching out of his little sister's stretched and abused pussy. On the next chair beside me, my own little sister DJ was whimpering and breathing heavily.

Finally recovered enough to move, I reached forward to the keyboard and started an instant message to Ben's account, tapping quickly and then hitting the ENTER-button: Wow. That was so hot!

A giggling, naked Brooke read the message and started smiling brilliantly. She turned her attention to the camera and said, "Great idea, Dawn."

I typed my reply: I came three times watching that. Wish I was there.

Brooke giggled and looked back at her brother. "I came three times, too."

Smiling, I then turned to DJ and grinned. "Our turn. You wanna be first or me?"

My red-hot little sister had a look of pure lust on her face, and a low growl began in the back of her throat. "I wanna eat you," she said gruffly, her blue eyes piercing me.

I chuckled. "I can work with that." I sagged a bit lower into my chair to put my crotch at the edge of the seat. It was a standard computer chair with wheels, and after DJ dropped a pillow onto the floor for her knees, she wheeled me around so that she could get me into position.

Showing off my own flexibility, I leaned forward and tapped out the commands to activate our webcam and set up the streaming webpage. And now it was my turn to surf the web for porn. I had a particularly favorite amateur website. The guy looked like Ben and he had a young blonde girlfriend, like me. It was always perfect for my fantasies.

So as DJ went to work licking and sucking and showing off everything I'd taught her, I closed my eyes and I dreamed I was with my true love.

"Fuuuuuuuuck," I groaned, feeling quite dizzy. That last orgasm had been nice, very nice. But it felt a little ... hollow ... somehow.

I lay my head back against the pillow, slightly dislodging the headset I had plugged into my cell phone. With one hand, I slowly extracted my special dildo. Dayna had smuggled me into a sex shop and we found a veiny, mushroom headed dildo that was as close to Ben as I could make it. But no matter how close it was in size, there was no simulating the warmth or power of Ben's real dick. And more importantly, there was no simulating the feel of his body flush with sweat on top of me, or the intense gaze of his eyes as he looked at me in adoration.

"That sounded like a good one," Ben's voice sounded off in my ears.

I tilted the microphone back to my mouth and tried to put on a happy smile, knowing it would carry in my own voice. "Yeah..." I said brightly. I didn't need to let him know that I still felt a little unfulfilled. Better to keep my man happy in the belief that I was satisfied.

We chatted for another couple of minutes but I could sense his attention wavering. I had no doubt that Ben loved me, but he really had a hard time keeping his focus when he was on the phone. He was such an incredibly visual person. Give him verbal directions and he'd screw them up half the time. Write them down and it was like he had a photographic memory, and he'd follow them perfectly, as if the words holographically lit up before his eyes.

Show him some cleavage, and I could get him to do anything.

But talk on a phone where he can't see me? I heard him straining to focus, but his mind just wandered. It was the way he'd been since we were kids. But I could accept that. He was MY Ben. I loved him for who he was.

But I was still horny as hell.

Unfortunately, I was out of time. I'd promised to meet my best friend Tricia Peckitt for lunch with her new boyfriend Stephen Bertucci. I'd have to hurry a bit to be on time, and unlike most girls I knew, I prided myself on being on time.

So grabbing some tissues, I started to mop myself up. My left hand idly rubbed at my own breast and down my belly towards my navel. Ben had a way of touching me in places I never would have expected to be pleasurable. I missed that.

Sighing, I finally sat up and headed for the bathroom. But dammit, I wanted to get laid.

"Hey, girl!" Tricia giggled as I walked up to them with my tray from Sbarro. We were at the mall food court and the plan was to grab a bite to eat and then browse the shops. I was having a baked ziti. Stephen had a Philly cheesesteak. But Tricia had nothing but a smoothie.

"Liquid lunch again?" I arched an eyebrow. It was a habit I'd picked up from Ben and his family. "You know you're gonna be hungry in an hour."

"I'll be fine," Tricia laughed me off. For as long as we'd known each other, Tricia had been a healthy, normal girl. A couple of inches shorter than me, the brunette with soft brown eyes had always had a nice body with nice curves and maybe five pounds she could afford to lose. But during the last school semester, she'd started to really obsess with her appearance, paying careful attention to her makeup, buying a whole new wardrobe, and dieting like a starving Somalian. She'd dropped the extra five pounds and then some, and she was also attracting quite a bit more attention from the guys.

Of course, all her weight loss was only from lack of nutrition and not at all from exercise, something of which I reminded her every time I heard her stomach growl. I shook my head. "Want some of this baked ziti?"

Tricia shook her head. "Stop being such a nag, Dawn. I'm fine."

"Well I think she looks fantastic," Stephen wrapped his arm around Tricia's shoulders and smiled brilliantly, just oozing charm. I'd give Tricia one thing, Stephen was quite the hunk. He was the prototypical tall, dark, and handsome man, if a little hairy for my tastes. He was also two years older than her at nineteen, and attending a local community college. A year ago, a guy like him would never have given her a second glance.

But Tricia's thinner waist and bonier arms and more obvious cleavage now attracted men like honeybees. Well, we both did. I knew I'd done my own share of physical development in the last year as my tits got bigger and my body elongated. That may have even been why Tricia got so obsessive about her appearance. Watching her best friend (me) get hit on by so many guys had made her work to get her own share of attention, and now that she'd landed a guy like Stephen, she felt it validated everything she'd been doing.

Still, I didn't really like Stephen that much. Yeah, he was charming and handsome. But he was a bit of a letch. Actually, he reminded me of Greg Kinomoto from camp, the way he ogled and preyed upon all the cute girls around him. Stephen knew he was good-looking and he wasn't hesitant to flirt with the girls that passed by, even with Tricia by his side.

Like now.

We'd finished our meals and started cruising the mall. Tricia was browsing the sale rack at Forever 21 while I was a few racks away. I turned to look around when I saw Stephen chatting up a pair of cute teenagers who looked even younger than us. The petite little girls giggled and smiled and played with their hair. I rolled my eyes and went over to Tricia, nudging her and then pointing in Stephen's direction. "Doesn't that bother you?"

Tricia looked over and a dark look passed over her eyes. But just as quickly, she smothered it and turned to me, shaking her head 'no'. "Whatever. I don't mind him flirting, as long as he keeps coming home to me. It's not his fault he's so handsome that girls want to flirt with him." And with that, she turned her back on the whole scene and focused in on her shopping.

Ten minutes later, we were passing Frederick's of Hollywood when Stephen pointed to the trashy lingerie store and suggested, "Come on, girls. How about a little fashion show?"

I rolled my eyes but Tricia giggled and shook her head.

"Please? C'mon Trish," Stephen pleaded. "I'll buy you anything you want as long as you promise I get to take it off you with my teeth."

Tricia blushed crimson but she giggled happily. And then with a big smile, she turned and headed into the store. Stephen hung back while wolfishly staring at his girlfriend's ass, and when Tricia realized this, she transformed her walk into a rather obvious hip-sway designed to hold his attention.

But Stephen's attention wasn't entirely on Tricia. He leaned in and grinned wolfishly at me. "You know, I'll buy you anything you want in there if you'll let me see it in person."

I arched my eyebrow at his lecherous comment. It was unwelcome, but not quite offensive enough for me to smack him or anything. "Dream on, Stephen," I shook my head and then followed Tricia inside.

But I have to admit, I put a little extra hip sway for him as well. It felt good to be ogled just a bit.

"Good god, I came so many times I couldn't even count," Tricia sighed. "Stephen was so hard and so horny he just threw me on the floor and fucked my brains out."

"Trish, I don't want to hear it right now," I grumbled. I'd had another round of phone sex with Ben last night, after which I tumbled into bed with DJ and I'm sure Ben went to find Brooke. But it still wasn't fair. Ben at least got to have full-on intercourse, penetrating sex with a live, wet, tight pussy. I liked my dildo and DJ really knew how to use it, but it just wasn't the same.

I wanted cock.

Fact was, I could get cock if I really wanted it. Cock was being offered to me all the time.

Like now, we were at the beach with a bunch of our friends. I was laying flat on my belly with my bikini top undone so I wouldn't have a tan line across my back. Tricia was on the towel beside me in the same position. I knew for a fact that all I had to do was flip over and within five minutes some guy would wander by and try to strike up a conversation. I had great tits and this bikini was designed to attract attention. There simply had never been a time in the past few months that I hadn't gotten hit on at the beach.

"He's just so big inside me," Tricia mused softly. "I mean, I know they say size doesn't matter but I think that's just girls who don't have a big boyfriend trying to make themselves feel better. But Stephen-"

"Tricia!" I grunted. "Don't want to hear about it!"

"Sorry," she grumped. "It's not my fault you haven't gotten laid in more than a month."

I rolled onto my side in annoyance before I completely remembered that my bikini strap wasn't tied. Quickly scooping up the triangular cloth to cover myself, I rolled back down onto my belly. "Look, Trish. I'm happy that Stephen is making you happy. You deserve it. But please? I listen to you raving about him almost every day. Can you just give me an hour to just close my eyes and relax without thinking of sex? I'm still horny and you're not helping."

"C'mon, Dawn. Lighten up," Tricia pleaded. "If you just need to get laid, I know for a fact that Ryan over there is interested."

I glanced over where Tricia was nodding to see Stephen tossing a frisbee back and forth with his friend Ryan Tanner and some of our other friends. While Stephen was tall, dark, and handsome, Ryan was tall, blonde, and handsome. True to his name, his skin was golden bronzed, his blonde hair hung back and down to his neck, and his muscles had muscles. The guy looked like he belonged on the cover of a trashy romance novel and I had to admit, he had the look that made my juices start flowing. And as I glanced over, Ryan glanced over at us and noticed my stare. He smiled right then, showing me twin rows of perfect white teeth, and I felt a little quiver in my thighs.

It was tempting. I was used to guys ogling me and I'd certainly noticed Ryan's interest. But I wanted to be loyal to Ben. I loved my boyfriend and the last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize our relationship. I knew he'd bedded quite a huge number of girls in the past year, but he'd stayed loyal to me since we decided to be together and I could do no less.

I sighed and put my head back down. "I love my Ben, Tricia," I said firmly.

"Okay, okay," my friend nodded. "Just saying..."

My back started to get that slightly itchy tingling that told me I'd been on my stomach long enough. Reaching behind myself, I re-tied the strings and then rolled onto my back, adjusting my oversized sunglasses to properly cover my face. And then taking a deep breath, I exhaled slowly and let my sexual tension flow out of me.

Of course, this meant my D-cups filled and then sagged back as I breathed, held proudly erect in my bikini and available for anyone behind me to see. A part of me occasionally thought I should wear less revealing swimwear if I didn't want to attract attention. But then, I liked looking hot. I felt a little surge of pleasure every time I knew a guy was checking me out, and it was a feeling I enjoyed. Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it, right?

And sure enough, within three minutes a couple of guys with washboard abs and toothy smiles were next to us, trying to start up a conversation. Tricia re-tied her bikini top and then pushed herself up onto her elbows, smiling and giggling and chatting right back.

I played along, soaking up the attention for a while. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere, because within another minute, Stephen and Ryan would come over to ward the guys away from "their girls".

When our boys did come, the newcomers beat a hasty retreat. So I reclined back and contemplated joining some of the others in playing frisbee or splashing in the surf. And behind the protective cover of my dark black sunglasses, I couldn't help but notice that Ryan hung around just a little longer, staring longingly at me with his piercing blue eyes.

Tempting, but I loved my Ben.

SEPTEMBER 2001, SUMMER BREAK

"Hey, Brandi," I smiled and hugged Ben's big sister. Then I turned and hugged Dayna, my own big sister. The college girls were coming home for a week to take a break between their internship and the start of the new school year. Brandi would be staying with us for one night before flying down to SoCal and her own family.

"Wow, Dawn, you're really growing up," Brandi complimented.

I rolled my eyes. "You just saw me a month ago."

"Yeah, well, I forget how beautiful you've become. I keep thinking of you as the little girl playing in the dirt with my little brother."

"Not so little brother, anymore, eh?" I grinned with a twinkle in my eye.

"Certainly not," Brandi breathed and got a faraway look in her eyes. I recognized the look. It was a look of lust and longing. I'd known Brandi and Ben had fucked each other during her month at home the past winter. But in the times I'd seen her since, I hadn't seen her giving Ben much thought. She'd been busy with her boyfriend Brian up until their breakup in June and even after camp, she'd been busy with her internship.

I went quiet in thought for a moment and furrowing my eyebrows, I held Brandi at arm's length and asked softly, "Do you want him?"

"Hmm?" Brandi moved her gaze back to me as if returning from a great distance away.

"Ben. Do you want to have sex with Ben when you get home?" I clarified, canting my head to the side and still thinking about whether or not I wanted the beautiful, older brunette to have a piece of my man. It was fair, wasn't it? I figured Dayna and I would have some playtime during the next week. Why not Ben and his sister as well?

"Do you mind?" Brandi asked and pinched her legs together, almost as if she needed to pee and was holding it in. "I just haven't had any dick in such a long time and I've been going crazy."

"What?" Dayna interrupted. "I haven't been taking care of you?"

"It's not the same," Brandi moaned. "And it doesn't help listening to this one fucking up a storm every other night," she groaned jerking a thumb back at Dayna.

"Hey, not my fault I'm in demand," my sister shot back.

"You've got THREE boyfriends right now, Dayna," Brandi turned and growled.

"Hey, if they can handle sharing me, I'm not going to complain."

Brandi steamed and seemed even more wound-up than before, but I quickly moved to calm her. "Relax, relax," I held up my hands, making my decision. "It's cool, you and Ben. I definitely understand the need for some dick after a long absence," I sighed.

"Really?" Brandi said with some hope.

"Of course. He's screwing Brooke silly every time we got off the phone with each other anyways," I shrugged. "I give you full permission to drain my boyfriend of all bodily fluids. And fuck him one extra time for me, okay?"

Brandi grinned happily. "Of course!"

I sighed. "You know, I am SOOO jealous of you right now. Dildoes just aren't the same."

"Tell me about it," Brandi groaned.

"It'll do the trick inside sometimes, even if it isn't as warm," I shrugged. "But there's no replacement for the feeling of a man's body on top of you."

"Well..." Brandi arched her eyebrow and rotated around to Dayna with an impish look on her face.

"What?" I asked, clearly seeing something being communicated between my sister and her best friend.

Dayna grinned. "We'll show you later. We may not have a man to crush you beneath his sweaty body, but we've got something pretty close."

"Fuck me! Fuck me! Ugh!" I grunted and felt the heavy weight of a sweaty body pressing against my chest. Arms wrapped around me with strong hands hooking behind my shoulders, tugging me even tighter as I felt the thick phallus pounding in and out of my sopping wet cunt.

"Do it!" Brandi husked into my ear from her spot beside me. "Cum! Let go! Feel it penetrating deep inside you and let the pleasure take you away."

"Unnghhh," I groaned and grabbed the ass between my thighs, gripping the firm buttocks and jerking them towards me to add power to every thrust. And as my palms slid over the sweaty globes, I pulled my hands back just a little further until I came to the black straps wrapping around Dayna's waist, and holding it firmly I used the extra leverage to force my sister to fuck me even harder.

"Mmm..." Dayna moaned into my mouth as she felt me guiding her thrusts. Our tongues twirled in their incestuous dance in syncopated rhythm to her pumping the strap-on dildo into my pussy. Energized, she put a little extra energy into her legs and really began to pound me.

I reveled in the sensation of her hot body on top of me, crushing me into the mattress. I was thrilled in feeling the thick phallus fucking into me without being under my own control. It felt good when I dildoed myself. It felt better when someone else did it to me. It was incredible when the dildo was attached to my sister's humping body. And it was fucking AMAZING that Brandi was shoving a thin vibrator in and out of my ass at the same time.

Dayna moved up just then, dipping her double-D tits to my face so that I could nurse her like a baby. And right about then I went over the edge into orgasm, moaning in ecstatic relief before I screamed around her nipple.

I bucked hard enough to almost throw Dayna off me. She certainly lost the rhythm but recovered enough to continue fucking me through my orgasm. My hips jerked, my torso twisted, and I clutched my sister's body in desperation as the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashed through me.

Eventually, I went limp and sagged against my mattress in a sweaty heap of flesh. Dayna then pulled her fake cock out of me and turned to sit on the bed. Brandi slid the vibrator out of my ass, and I was finally empty and at peace.

It wasn't the same as having my true love Ben fucking my lights out, but it was pretty good.

Dayna was flushed and grinning from her exertion. I had to admit, she looked wickedly erotic and strange at the same time, fully naked with her fabulous curvaceous body bisected by the black harness and rubbery pink dildo protruding from her crotch. She glanced over to Brandi and then asked, "Want a ride?"

The pretty brunette just smiled and shook her head in the negative. "I think I'm just going to look forward to going home and seeing Ben tomorrow."

"Your loss," Dayna shrugged.

But then smiling, I raised up my hand and then pointed to the strap-on dildo. "Can I try it?"

Dayna grinned. "Wanna fuck me, little sister?"

I giggled. "Hell, yeah."

Between Dayna's strap-on and DJ's agile tongue, I managed to ratchet down my horniness level from an 8 to about a 5 for that week. I still missed Ben and wished I could have him thrusting into me, but the thoughts didn't dominate my days like they had a week ago. And since I was getting just as much male attention as ever, having my sexual needs sated at home made it much easier to keep a level head.

A group of us were at the mall to window shop and hang out again. It was an unusually hot day for September in the Bay Area and retreating to the comfortable air conditioning made it an ideal spot. Unfortunately, it also trapped me with Ryan.

Now Ryan apparently subscribed to a "Bro Code" that ruled he couldn't hit on girls who were taken. For example, I knew for a fact that he thought my friend Nancy Curry was quite attractive and he wouldn't mind pursuing her, but her boyfriend Travis Walden was also around and Ryan was careful not to overstep his bounds with her.

I, on the other hand, he intellectually knew was taken. But after weeks and weeks of hanging around me with no boyfriend in sight, he couldn't help but step up his flirting. Flirting turned into desire. Desire turned into infatuation. And for the past three days the boy had been seriously crushing on me. And he was a good- looking guy not used to having girls resist him, especially girls two years younger than him.

Ryan was far from the first boy to have a crush on me. Boys had been flocking to me for years and would continue to do so well into my middle-ages. I knew from past experience that if I just kept politely declining their invitations for long enough that they'd take the hint and move on. Based on experience, I figured I had to keep Ryan at bay for another week or so before he'd clue in that I wasn't about to leave my boyfriend for him.

But that meant I had to put up with him for another week.

"Hey, Dawn, I got you a frappuccino." He smiled and proffered to me a caramel frap, exactly the way I liked it. I gave him points for that, he'd noticed what I ordered from Starbucks.

"Aww, Ryan, you really didn't have to." I made no move to take the drink from him.

"I know, but I was getting one for myself and thought you might like it," he shrugged and sipped his own drink.

I sighed at my dilemma. If I accepted the frap it would only encourage him. If I turned it down, it might seem a little too blunt and hurtful. So turning to my purse I fished out four singles and proffered them up to him. "Here. I have to pay you back."

"No, no," he waved. "My treat."

"That's sweet, but it's okay. We're just friends and I can pay my own way," I put on an apologetic smile and re-thrust the money at him.

"Oh. Uh, okay," he said while covering his dejection. He took the money and handed over the drink.

For the next hour, Ryan stuck to my side even tighter than Stephen stuck to Tricia. After that, we all crowded around a series of benches to take a break, and Ryan made another move on me.

I had been rubbing my neck, which had tightened up just a bit. The handsome young man noticed and suddenly I felt Ryan's hands at my shoulders, rubbing me gently.

At first, I stiffened and moved to shrug him off. But ... well ... his massage DID feel really good. Already I felt my neck muscles loosening and as the pleasurable little sensations trickled down my spine, I sighed happily and sagged into his touch.

"Feel good?" Ryan asked softly.

"Mmm..." was all I could moan. It had been something of a long day and while I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. I figured there was no real harm in a backrub since the pleasantness outweighed the risks. And as his hands moved skillfully along my muscles I let my mind drift away.

They say you can tell how a guy has sex by the way he massages you. If he's firm and forceful, that's how he is in bed. If he's clumsy and pushes you in the wrong places, well, he's a lousy lover. And if he's gentle and skillful, he's dynamite in the sack.

Ryan was gentle and skillful. Seriously, the boy could make me melt under his fingertips. And as his hands began to delicately play around the clasp of my bra, my mind started drifting towards sexual things. What would Ryan like be in bed? Did he have a big dick? How would it feel inside me? How would it feel to be pinned beneath his body and held in his arms?

Ben.

My true love's face popped into mind just then and abruptly, I reached up and gripped Ryan's hand on my shoulder. He stopped his backrub and shifting in my seat, I pulled myself away from him. And in a firm voice, I turned and looked at him with serious intent in my eyes. "Thank you Ryan. But I think that's enough."

He seemed to sag just a bit at my words, but he nodded in acceptance. And then I stood up.

Just then, I saw my ex-boyfriend Mark Everson walking toward us with a bunch of his friends. Desperate for any exit from Ryan, I smiled and waved, "Hey, Mark!"

His eyes lit up when he saw me. Mark wasn't the most handsome or biggest of boys. He definitely had that "nice guy" quality about him, which was why I trusted him so much when we were dating. He never pushed me beyond what I was ready for, but in the end I knew I'd left him hanging. We did everything except for sex, and when we broke up before going all the way I knew I'd broken his heart.

I'd worried things would be awkward between us after that, but he promised to stay friends and so far he'd kept his word. So I had no hesitations about opening my arms to him and Mark hugged me tightly in greeting. "Hey, how have you been?"

"I'm good, I'm good," I nodded.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!" Mark said warmly. He then looked up and gestured towards everyone, most of whom he would recognize from my high school friends. "So, just here to hang out or you actually going to buy something?"

"Just hanging out," I nodded while flirting coyly. Nothing serious, but it felt natural to pose my body for maximum appreciation and run my fingers through my hair. I had stopped myself from sleeping with Mark out of a longing for Ben, not a lack of attraction to Mark. And now that I was with my ex-boyfriend again, it just seemed natural to be slightly more familiar with him than an ordinary guy.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked. "Still with, uh, what's her name?"

"Samantha? No, we broke up a couple months ago," Mark shrugged and looked down. "Just didn't work out."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, it's okay." Mark laughed nervously. "Actually, she said I wasn't over you."

I blinked and frowned. And in a more sincere voice, I said, "I'm sorry, Mark."

He waved me off and took a deep breath, fighting the emotion in his eyes. After just thirty seconds, I imagined that Samantha was right: Mark still wasn't over me even six months later. "It's okay, it's okay," he tried to say.

Unfortunately, the knowledge that Mark still had feelings for me would only make a potential friendship more awkward. I backed up fractionally and smiled at him. "Well, you look good, though."

"Thanks," he nodded his head. "Well, the silver lining is that I'm a free man again. So whaddaya say, Dawn. Can I take you out again? Pick things up where we left off?"

Where we left off was an inch from getting his dick into me. I frowned and canted my head. "I'm sorry, Mark. I have a boyfriend."

"Oh," he stood up straight, trying to project calm amusement, although I figured he was torn inside. "Anyone I know?" I noticed Mark looked pointedly right at Ryan.

I saw where he was looking at and shook my head. "No. He's in Orange County down south. I think I've told you about Ben. We grew up together since we were little kids."

"Yeah, yeah, I think I remember," Mark nodded. Then he smiled and shrugged. "But hey, he'll still be waiting for you the next school break. You could still go out with me for now. After all, more than a hundred miles away doesn't count."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course it counts, Mark."

"Right, right," he shrugged. "Well, maybe we'll run into each other sometime. Maybe I'll even have a couple of classes with you at school."

"Sure, sure. It was good to see you, Mark." I gave him a warm smile.

"Okay. See you later."

"Bye."

I sighed and turned around, looking back to my friends and to handsome, studly Ryan, who was still looking over at me with obvious interest in his eyes. Eleven months was a lot longer than I realized. And if I was having this hard a time resisting guys, how the hell would Ben do it? For a guy who'd bedded some two dozen girls or something by now, how could he seriously last with just Brooke and Brandi? And what would he do when Brandi returned and Brooke found her own man?

I'd already told him that while it wasn't an ideal situation, I could probably handle him having sex with another girl just for sex's sake. After all, he was probably fucking Brandi right now. It wasn't that I thought he'd love me any less.

So maybe fair was fair? Maybe I could have a boy like Ryan on the side. He'd go to college, do his own thing, and give me a good ride every once in a while, right? Just to let off steam, nothing serious. I'd still love Ben with all my heart.

I took a deep breath. Eleven months was going to be a LONG time without getting laid. Soon, very soon, he and I were going to have to talk about whether this was what we really wanted. I would love him forever, but if he was going to have some pussy on the side, I just might need someone else's dick before the year ended.

SEPTEMBER 2001, SENIOR YEAR

"Can you believe Mrs. Conway made us partners?" Mark grinned as we walked out of class.

I shrugged. "She did it alphabetically: Evans, Everson. I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier."

"That would have been nice," Mark smiled sweetly.

I managed a smile. I'd gotten well over Mark, and I wanted to be his friend. But knowing that he still had some buried feelings for me made things awkward. Every look, every kindness made me wonder if he was just being his usual "nice guy" or trying to win me back.

"Are you doing anything later today, Dawn?" Mark then leaned in. "Do you want to get together and get a head start on this project?"

I smiled weakly at him. I didn't have anything planned, but right now I didn't want to meet up with him. But while I fumbled around for an excuse, I was saved by Tricia.

"Hey Dawn!" The perky brunette slid over to me with a big grin on her face. "Stephen's driving a bunch of us down to the beach for sunset. Coming?"

"Oh, right, of course," I smiled and turned apologetically to Mark. "Call me. We'll stay late after class or meet at the library or something another day, okay?"

"Oh, uh, sure, Dawn," Mark stammered.

He hadn't realized yet that a sunset beach trip wouldn't be until 7pm, which meant I didn't have an excuse not to start our project this afternoon. But I wasn't going to wait around for him to figure it out. "See you later," I smiled and bounced away.

After dinner, I picked up my purse and informed my mom, "Tricia's picking me up and we're going to the beach for a couple of hours."

"It's a school night, Dawn," Mom reminded me with raised eyebrows.

"I'll be back soon," I assured her.

"Who else is going?"

"I'm not sure. A bunch of us are going. Stephen's probably driving."

"Will Ryan be going with you?" Mom gave me a funny look.

I shrugged. "Probably. Why?"

"Does Ben know about Ryan?"

I furrowed my brow. "What's to know? He's Stephen's friend and he likes me but that's it. You know I love Ben."

"But does Ben know? I'm not sure he'd be too happy with how much you seem to be around this guy. He's nineteen, isn't he?"

I rolled my eyes. "I can handle myself, Mom. It's just the beach. A wide-open, public place, with a bunch of friends. Nothing's gonna happen. And if we go anywhere but the beach I promise I'll call you." I waggled my cell phone at her.

"Okay, okay. I talk with Beth every week and I really don't want to tell her you're breaking Ben's heart." She pointed her fingers at her eyes, then at me, and back to her own eyes. The message was clear: she was watching me.

"Mooom," I groaned.

[honk] [honk]

"That's them," I nodded. "Gotta go."

"Tricia!" I hissed. "You didn't say it was just US!"

Upon arrival at the beach, I'd said I needed to use the bathroom and pulled Tricia along with me. When my best friend had said "bunch of us" I'd assumed she meant a group of more than four in Stephen's beat-up minivan. But that was it, four: Stephen, Tricia, Ryan, and me. I smelled a setup.

"ReLAX," Tricia smiled. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. We're just here to hang out and enjoy the breeze and the sunset. Oh, did you bring a jacket?"

I winced. "No."

"That's okay," Tricia beamed. "When it gets cold, I'm sure Ryan will keep you warm," she giggled.

"Tricia!"

"What? C'mon, Dawn. You've been so wound up for the past week. You need some good male attention — REAL male attention from a live, flesh and blood MAN. I know you adore your boyfriend but he clearly hasn't been here for you and I HATE to see my best friend all twisted up like this!"

"I'm FINE," I grumped. I still missed Ben and my horniness level had climbed up to a 9. Dayna was back at college and DJ had hooked up with a new boyfriend, a cute Junior from the swim team. The kid certainly had endurance and seemed to know what he was doing because just yesterday afternoon, she'd brought him home and the two had fucked each other silly for almost three hours. I figured that for the foreseeable future, it would just be me, my hand, and my toys. And half the time I expected I'd be hearing my little sister getting all the sex that I couldn't.

"You're not fine," Tricia looked me dead in the eye. "And Ryan's not looking for any commitment if you don't want to give him one. Just have a good time. Relax. And if anything happens, just enjoy yourself!"

I sighed. I knew this was a disaster waiting to happen. But she had a point. I WAS lonely and having a very cute boy flirting with me would feel pretty good.

Now the other three people weren't very subtle about their intentions. Less than five minutes after we'd sat down to look across the ocean, Stephen and Tricia rather obviously picked themselves up and moved a further fifteen feet away. I could see them kissing and snuggling and giggling, but couldn't make out any words they were saying. And at almost the same time, Ryan moved a little closer and I felt a warm jacket being slipped over my shoulders.

I sighed at my dilemma. If I accepted the jacket it would only encourage him. But at the same time, it was getting colder and the warmth was very nice. So I just turned and smiled in gratitude at him.

Why, oh, why did his crystal blue eyes have to dance like that when he looked at me? He made butterflies do backflips in my stomach. I couldn't deny that I was attracted to Ryan. Any girl would be proud to walk around with him by her side.

Then his hands came up to my shoulders, rubbing softly. Ah, hell ... why did he have to be so good at massage? Already I felt my neck muscles loosening and as the pleasurable little sensations trickled down my spine, I sighed happily and sagged into his touch.

"Feel good?" Ryan asked softly.

"Mmm..." was all I could moan.

"You're very beautiful, Dawn," his smooth voice was a velvet caress in my ear.

I blushed and smiled instinctively. "Thank you."

"But your beauty is marred by your sadness. You always seem so lonely."

"I'm alone by choice, Ryan," I reminded while closing my eyes and tilting my head to give him better access to my neck.

"You don't have to be."

"I love my boyfriend, Ryan."

"And I'm not asking you to stop. I'm not here to take anything away from him," he practically purred. "I just want to make you happy."

I wanted to ask 'Why? What's in it for you?' But I already knew what he was looking for. He was a horny 19-year-old hitting on a pretty girl. On some level, I was the perfect catch. Beautiful, young, big tits, and already emotionally wrapped up with another man. It may not have been in his nature to flirt with another man's girl in front of him, but with Ben out of sight, I was just a casual booty call waiting to happen.

"Ryan..." I started hesitantly.

"Shh..." He soothed and stroked my back. How the hell could this man make me wet by rubbing my shoulders? "You don't need to talk. I know. I'm not expecting anything out of this, okay? I won't ever force you to do anything, I promise. And if I cross any lines, just tell me and I'll back away."

I sighed and relaxed a bit. So far, Ryan had always kept to his word and never done anything to push past my boundaries ... yet.

And then I felt the touch of his lips against the bare skin of my neck. Like an electric shock, I felt a bolt of pleasure shoot up into my brain and I moaned happily at the touch. How long had it been since a man kissed me so intimately?

When I reacted favorably, Ryan kissed my neck again ... and again. His lips began rolling up towards my ear. And as my breathing became heavier, I heard the rush of blood thundering through my veins. Even I heard the aroused tone in my panting, and so encouraged, Ryan pressed on.

One hand slid down my back and rubbed around the area of my bra clasp. For a moment, I wished he would open me up and touch my sensitive, supple breasts. And then a second later I felt his other hand move around the front of my shirt and gently cup one of the large, round melons from outside my clothing.

I moaned and automatically began turning my head towards him. It felt so good and I didn't want his lips on my neck or ear or cheek. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to kiss him.

I wanted to fuck him.

Would it really be so bad? It was just sex, right? Physical release without any of the emotional attachment. I could sleep with him and never look back, couldn't I? What would be the harm? Ben would never even have to know...

And just like that, my brain snapped back. My head also snapped away, just an inch before my lips met Ryan's. I couldn't keep such a thing secret from Ben. My guilt would destroy me. It would rot our love from the inside-out. Ben would have to know.

But could he handle it? I knew I'd verbalized that I could handle sex for sex's sake. Handle, yes. Be happy with? Maybe not. And if I would still feel some resentment for Ben screwing another girl, I really doubted he would be okay with me screwing another boy.

I knew Ben. I'd seen his jealousy over Greg Kinomoto. No, he would NOT approve of me sleeping with Ryan. Which meant I COULDN'T do it, no matter how horny I got.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to Ryan even while he still held me in his arms, his lips just inches away.

"It's okay, it's okay," he soothed. "I promised I wouldn't push you, and I won't. You know I want you, Dawn. But I won't force you."

I managed a smile. "Thank you."

He nodded and then sighed unhappily, but when his eyes came back up he was accepting of the situation.

I blinked and then turned my head to the horizon. "Oops, looks like we missed the sunset."

"That's alright," Ryan smiled. "I was more interested in looking at you."

On the drive home, I lay my head against the window and closed my eyes. All I had was one thought. "Gawd, Ben. I NEED you."

Flwrgrl1987: That bored, huh?

BigBen69: I dunno. I just thought I would be more excited about being back at school.

Flwrgrl1987: Why would anyone be excited about being back at school? Didn't your sisters keep you entertained enough over the summer? ;-)

BigBen69: Of course, but the routine of just killing time hanging out with friends does get old after a while.

BigBen69: And it doesn't help that everywhere I looked were happy couples wrapped around each other. I miss you, Dawn. =(

Flwrgrl1987: I miss you too, Ben.

Flwrgrl1987: Probably more than you realize.

Flwrgrl1987: Tricia's getting all lovey-dovey with Stephen and the two of them are always in my face. I feel like such a third wheel. :-(

BigBen69: We'll find a way to visit. Maybe my parents will let me fly up and stay with you guys for a weekend or something.

Flwrgrl1987: That'd be great! Please?

BigBen69: I'll do what I have to. I love you, Dawn. =)

Flwrgrl1987: I love you too...

BigBen69: Ah, gotta go now. Brooke's home.

Flwrgrl1987: Just now? I thought you drove her home.

BigBen69: Not today. She had cheerleader tryouts this afternoon.

Flwrgrl1987: OK. Call me tonight, promise?

BigBen69: I promise. =)

BigBen69: Love you.

Flwrgrl1987: Love you too. Bye.

OCTOBER 2001, SENIOR YEAR

"Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Hole-in-one!" Ryan raised his hand with a gleeful look on his face. He looked almost as excited as I felt.

A group of us (this time, really, a group) were at the local Golfland and after my ball bounced off two bumpers and went across the spinning wheel, it miraculously had dropped into the cup. Lights and bells and alarms went off. In addition to scoring the hole-in-one, I'd also won a free game.

But better than that...

"We won!" I screamed. "We won!" And without thinking about it, I vaulted myself into the air and wrapped my legs around Ryan's waist as he caught me and hugged me, spinning me around in his strong arms. Stephen had made some challenging comment on how he and Tricia could kick our butts at mini-golf and Ryan and I had risen to the challenge. We'd just finished the 18th hole and that score had let us beat our best friends by a single stroke.

After a couple of spins Ryan quickly dropped me to the ground, took my head in his hands, and planted a juicy, wet kiss right on my lips.

Oh, YES.

I swooned, whimpering happily as I felt Ryan's powerful lips pressing against mine for the very first time. I heard Stephen and Tricia laughing behind us as my victorious partner and I swapped spit and celebrated. And when we finally pulled away from each other, we were laughing and cheering as well. GAWD I felt good!

Our other four friends had finished their round just ahead of us and had witnessed the whole thing. As a group, they stood sternly at attention and began clapping in applause. Stephen and Tricia stepped back and joined them, falsely stoic expressions on their faces as if they were cheering a classical opera instead of a miniature golf victory.

Ryan and I sketched short bows and I couldn't stop giggling. But then I caught the eye of Nancy who gave me an inquisitive look and then darted her gaze over to Ryan with a question in her eyes. Only then did I truly realize that I'd enthusiastically kissed a man who wasn't my boyfriend, and I blushed deeply.

Looking over at Ryan, I bit my lip and said, "I probably shouldn't have let you do that."

"Was it really so bad?" he asked, feigning hurt.

"No, no," I laughed. "But it was naughty."

"I happen to like naughty."

I shivered and felt a fresh quivering between my legs. Calm down, girl.

Ben was going to be in for quite the round of phone sex tonight. And hey, if DJ hadn't gone out, maybe she'd be able to give me a hand ... or a tongue...

OCTOBER 31, 2001, SENIOR YEAR

"Trick or Drink!"

I looked up to see my friend Gwen Tannenbaum standing over me with a red cup in her hand. I smiled and took the cup from her. The beer wasn't that cold and didn't taste very good, but it would do. Underage teens couldn't be picky about smuggling beer kegs into their parties.

We were at the house of Ricky Jaina, whose was hosting this Halloween party at his parents' house. Since this Halloween was on a Wednesday, and thus a school night, we'd set things up as an afternoon party from which everyone should be going home by 8 or 9pm. Between the early hour and supposed adult supervision, most parents didn't even know we'd have alcohol at the party. My parents knew, but they trusted me and I'd never given them a reason to worry about me getting overly wasted.

"So I see you brought Ryan as your date," Gwen grinned toothily at me as she sipped her beer.

I took another sip myself and shrugged. "He's just a friend."

"A friend you invited," she looked at me with a teasing smile. "A friend I saw you making out at the mall with last Friday."

I slapped her shoulder, blushing with shame and embarrassment. "Did not."

"You're a bad liar, Dawn. And I did see you," Gwen giggled. "Don't worry, my lips are sealed. But it's no secret that the two of you are so hot for each other."

I blushed and felt a twinge of guilt in my gut. Yeah, since that time at the Golfland, I'd let Ryan kiss me three more times and even get pretty close to second base. His hand got inside my blouse but not underneath my bra. The warmth of his fingers felt so good on my tits and I kept letting him get just a little further and further, but in the back of my head I sort of hoped that my exceedingly slow pace would cause him to lose interest and give up. I wanted to stop things from getting as far as they'd already been, but I just couldn't do it myself.

I just liked being wanted. I knew Ben loved and desired me. But out of sight and 500 miles away, I just couldn't feel it the way I really needed.

"There you are!" Ryan was suddenly beside me, reaching a hand down to me. He'd had to make a quick bathroom break and I smiled as I felt the cool, clean touch of his hand. Nothing was a bigger turnoff than a guy who didn't wash his hands after using the bathroom.

I let him lift me up and out of the couch and then I turned to smile back at Gwen. "Don't go spreading rumors now."

"I don't need to," she giggled as Ryan wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me towards the dance floor. And soon I was shaking my booty to the music while Ryan and three other guys observed me appreciatively.

At a particularly upbeat section of the song, I did a little twirl and a familiar face in the corner caught my eye. Feeling happy and just slightly buzzed, I smiled as I recognized Mark, my ex-boyfriend. "Hey Mark! Trick or Drink!" I said cheerily and bounced over towards him.

"Wow, Dawn, you are gorgeous," he whistled as he took in my little blue party dress. The hem was a little short and I was sure it rose up whenever I twirled. And I was pretty sure my tits were gyrating quite bouncily as I danced.

"Why thank you, kind sir," I gestured theatrically and then pulled on his arm. "Come on. Dance!"

Mark had never been much of a dancer. He resisted me for a few seconds before acquiescing and following me onto the floor to shuffle around a bit awkwardly. Ryan was suddenly next to him and the two young men sized each other up for a second before returning their attention to me. I just smiled and twirled fast enough to make my dress hem raise up to flash my black panties.

When I looked back, both boys had practically stopped dancing and stared at me slack-jawed. Boys were so easy.

"Whee!" I cheered rather drunkenly and sloshed my cup.

"Whoa, whoa, Dawn," Ryan held my arm and reached for the red plastic beverage container. "I think you've had enough."

"Nonsense!" I smiled, feeling pleasantly buzzed. "Besides, you brought this one to me!"

"Yeah, well maybe I shouldn't have," he said and took away the beer. I screwed up my face and considered my current state of mind. Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever been quite this drunk before. I'd gotten a little carried away having too much fun this afternoon.

Gingerly, I started to stand up while Ryan got up with me. But as I started to walk I quickly lost my balance and started to go down in a heap on the floor.

"Whoa, whoa," Ryan caught me and lifted me back onto my feet, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. He glanced over to the side and suddenly I saw Tricia and Stephen looking at me with mild concern.

The three of them mumbled something while I let my head swing around dizzily and then Ryan was saying softly into my ear, "Why don't you lay down for a bit. C'mon, I'll get you upstairs."

Tricia and Stephen followed us as Ryan helped me to the stairway and away from the pounding music. I sagged against him and sighed happily. Ryan's muscles were rock hard and he felt so strong holding me up. I let my head rest on his shoulder and wished his hand would slide off my waist and down to cup my asscheek as he led me up the stairs.

We quickly found a quiet bedroom and went inside, Ryan gently laying me down on top of the bed. For a few moments, I felt like Sleeping Beauty or some other fairytale princess being rescued by her prince as his strong arms guided me into a reclining position. He even lifted my head and shuffled around the pillow until he was certain I was comfortable. And as I looked up at his handsome face through heavy-lidded eyes, I felt a pleasant little buzz course through my entire body.

He looked at me so adoringly and protectively. I'd considered myself a pretty good judge of character and even though I still thought Stephen was a bit of a letch, Ryan had turned out to be a pretty good guy. He clearly cared about me and wanted to make me happy. I was still thick-headed and my brain wasn't quite working the way it should, but at this moment, all I could really think of was how much I was attracted to him.

Ryan had turned his head to talk to Stephen and Tricia, but I reached my hand up to his cheek and slowly turned his face back to me. His crystal clear blue eyes peered right into the back of my soul and suddenly my hand tightened my grip behind his ear and I pulled him down to meet my lips.

I moaned in passionate arousal as my tongue speared into Ryan's mouth. My other hand went up and pulled him onto the bed beside me. And then suddenly he was responding just as fiercely as we took our liplock to the next level. Now I was the aggressor, flipping us over until I was on top of him and kissing this gorgeous, gorgeous man with abandon and reveling in the heated excitement of our kiss.

I heard a female giggle and turned briefly to see Tricia backing out of the bedroom with a wink and a nod. Then my best friend closed the door to leave me alone with my object of lust and desire.

And I did desire him. My hands worked frantically to pull Ryan's shirt off while he just lay beneath me with a look of arousal and amazement on his face. I slipped the straps of my dress off my shoulders and reached behind myself to open the clasp of my bra. And suddenly I hovered over this handsome young man completely topless, my heavy breasts swaying right in front of his face.

He did what any 19-year-old boy would do; he reached up and latched onto my tits with both hands and his mouth. And clutching his head to my bosom, I groaned while feeling my pussy turn into a swampy inferno.

Ryan mauled my tits for a few minutes, clearly enjoying every single moment of finally being able to taste and feel that which I'd been purposely flaunting in his face for the past few months. And then he flipped me over onto my back and moved to kiss me as his hand started moving lower down my dress to slide up underneath the hem and trace his way up my thigh.

His touch felt sooo good. The feel of his hot breath blowing out his nostrils onto my face and that of his left hand pinning me back to the mattress felt almost as good as his right hand rubbing my mound outside my panties. It felt so incredibly wonderful. Why the hell I hadn't let him do this before?

Because of Ben.

My body jerked as I remembered my true love. Ben. Ben. MY Ben. My boyfriend Ben. My best friend forever Ben. I couldn't do this. I was drunk and I was horny but that wasn't an excuse. I couldn't do this. And a fresh wave a guilt washed over me.

I felt guilty for letting things with Ryan get this far. Yeah, I was lonely, but to be fair to Ben I had to let him know what was going on. Sneaking around behind his back wasn't right. I hadn't even TOLD him how much Ryan had been in my life to this point.

And I felt guilty to Ryan. If I'd wanted, if I REALLY wanted, I could have shut him down cold months ago. Yeah, I liked the attention, but I could have stonewalled him and not let him get anywhere near to this point. I was a tease, and Ryan deserved better than that. He certainly wouldn't like what I was about to do now.

"Ryan, stop," I grunted.

He kept suckling my nipple and rubbing my pussy. He was just about to the point where he'd slip his hand underneath my panties when I squeezed my thighs and rolled away from him. "Ryan, stop!" I repeated in a louder voice. "No!"

"But Dawn," Ryan pleaded, turning his eyes up to me. They were a stormy riot and clearly the boy had been taken over by his own drunken lust. His right hand started to slide underneath my panties and his left pinned me down even tighter to the bed. "Please..."

"Ryan, NO!" I yelled.

[BANG!]

The door burst open and suddenly there was Mark, looking at the two of us with abject horror on his face. "Dawn!" he exclaimed and then took in the situation. There I was, completely topless with a bigger man hovering over me, one hand up my dress and the other pinning my arm back. And the last word he'd probably heard was my order of "NO!"

"Get the FUCK off her!" Mark yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Dude, this isn't what it looks like," Ryan tried to say calmly while pulling his hands off me.

"The hell it isn't!" Mark yelled.

Quickly, I worked to pull the straps of my dress up over my shoulders to cover my nakedness and glanced around for my bra.

"Look, just calm down, man," Ryan looked sternly at Mark. "Dawn and I were just-"

"You were fucking about to RAPE her!" Mark seethed and by now, there were three other people standing in the hallway behind him to see what the commotion was about.

"No, no," I spoke up, trying to get Mark's attention. "It's not like that, Mark."

"Did you or did you not yell at him 'NO'?" Mark asked.

I winced and hugged myself. Oh, the drama. This was NOT happening. Mark moved menacingly towards the bed and shook his finger at Ryan. "Back away from her, you fucking motherfucker."

I'd never seen Mark this angry before, even in our own boyfriend-girlfriend fights. I quivered and genuinely worried he was about to pick a fight. But perhaps realizing how close he had come to losing control, Ryan took the high road. "Okay, okay, I'm backing off." He grabbed his shirt, stepped off the bed and took three steps away.

"Dawn, come with me. I'm taking you home," Mark reached a hand out to me. It was an order, not a request, and instinctively I found myself getting off the bed.

"Dawn, I'm sorry. Things got just a little out of hand," Ryan apologized.

"Don't you talk to her!" Mark yelled and reached for me. I didn't take his hand, instead just clutching my bra over my chest and bowing my head away.

"Dawn..." Ryan pleaded.

I stopped before I walked out of the room. "This isn't your fault, Ryan. I'll talk to you later. Okay?"

The poor guy just looked devastated and sagged his shoulders. But he nodded regretfully. I bit my lip and walked out the door.

The motion of riding in Mark's car was NOT helping the thudding pain in my head. "Unnnghhh," I groaned and held my face. I'd really had too much to drink.

"You okay?" Mark asked from next to me.

"Not really."

"What time are you parents expecting you home?"

"Doesn't really matter. Around nine." I sighed. "Ugh, my Mom's gonna be pissed when I walk in this drunk."

Mark went deadly silent for a long moment, and when I looked over I could see the wheels turning in his head. Clearly, he was sorting out some sort of game plan and I just let my head loll over to rest against the window as I tried laboriously not to vomit.

Mark then spoke up. "Why don't I take you to my place? My mom's out tonight and we can sober you up until nine. Then I'll take you home."

I winced but considered it. Mom wouldn't have to know how wasted I'd gotten and how close I'd come to cheating on Ben. I liked Mark's plan. So turning to him, I smiled gratefully and replied, "Sure."

Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the couch in his living room. He left the room for several minutes and came back with what smelled like hot tea. "Drink this, you'll feel better."

Smiling, I took the drink and sipped it, grimacing at the slightly bitter taste of the tea leaves. But the warmth soothed my throat and the jumbled mess in my mind began to quiet down.

Mark simply stayed by my side, touching my shoulder tenderly while I slowly drank everything down. He was quiet and intensely watching me the entire time, and not for the first time I thought of his lingering feelings for me. Quite often for the past two months, my ex-boyfriend had stared at me as if still obsessed with finding a way to win me back. At school, I felt it a little unnerving. But after his rather noble display at the Halloween party, I thought it was sweet.

I looked around the room and at the couch we were sitting on. "Lot of fond memories of this place, huh?" I asked. After all, Mark and I had spent many, many hours making out or talking or just holding each other on this couch while we were still dating. I'd even given him a poorly-executed blowjob or two in this spot.

"Yeah," Mark mused, his eyes glittering.

My head started to feel quite heavy then. I had at first greatly enjoyed the quieting of my mind after the riot of thoughts and second-guesses I'd been doing ever since we left Ricky Jaina's house. But now I was just starting to feel dizzy and sleepy. "Whoa ... I must have had way more to drink than I should have."

"Probably," Mark sighed while reaching his hand up to start playing with my hair. He had always been attracted to my hair. 'So fine, so silky, ' he'd complimented more than once. And his fingertips softly rubbing my scalp felt pretty nice.

I let my head lay back on the backrest of the couch. I was feeling so incredibly tired and my neck suddenly felt like rubber. Actually, every bone in my body felt like rubber as I melted into the soft cushions. But I wasn't worried. I felt more relaxed than I had in weeks and pleasantly comfortable around Mark. After all, he cared a great deal about me.

I started feeling even better when he kissed me. His lips were soft but insistent as his tongue probed my lips before they parted to let him in. I didn't resist as he slipped the straps of my dress off my shoulders. I'd never put my bra back on and soon my bare tits were wide open for his touch and taste. And Mark knew just how I liked to be licked and suckled.

It was all so ... tranquil. I felt like I was floating on a cloud and eventually, I felt myself descending backwards as if gracefully falling in slow motion until I was flat on my back.

I blinked and a little smile came over me as I realized I was being eaten. By this point, my only clothing was my dress now bunched into a ring around my hips. My left leg was thrown over the back of the couch and my right dangled off onto the floor. A delicate tongue soothed me and stimulated me at the same time. Dizzily I let the pleasure flood my mind as I decided I was both falling asleep and having an orgasm at the same time.

I blinked and I felt a thick cock inside me. Urgently it thrust back and forth, throbbing with need.

I blinked and felt my wrists being pinned back just the way I liked it. Mark's heaving, sweaty body was over me as he lunged over and again, penetrating my pussy and tickling little nerves deep inside me.

I blinked and I felt his heavy weight settle onto my chest, crushing me down into the cushions. Somewhere in my belly I felt the hot spurts of semen splashing against my insides. I cooed pleasantly as his warm cum filled up my womb to overflowing. And his contented grunting in my ear filled my senses as I closed my eyes and surrendered to happy unconsciousness.

I blinked and felt myself carried in strong arms up a set of stairs. My mother was right in front of me, leading the way. Dimly, I heard her complain, "Told her not to drink so much. Especially on a school night."

I blinked and felt myself falling gracefully once again, this time onto the familiar comfort of my own bed. Mom was now saying, "Thanks for bringing her home, Mark." My eyelids were so heavy and I tilted my head to the side. And the blackness took over once again.

I blinked and felt a measure of awareness coming back to me. All was dark and I had no idea what time it was. Where was I? What had happened? How did I get here?

I looked around and realized I was in my room. I vaguely remembered being at the party and dancing with Ryan, but my memory was hazy on the rest. I probably drank a little too much. I remember being happily buzzed and having a really good time.

But how had I gotten home? How was the rest of the party? Why was my head throbbing so much?

I looked down and realized I was still fully clothed. My little blue party dress was wrinkled, and it wouldn't be very comfortable to sleep in so I decided to get up and change into a baggy T-shirt at least.

But as I turned in place I felt an extra wet squish between my thighs. Frowning, I looked down and put a hand to my crotch and to my horror I felt way too much gooey wetness for it to just be me. My eyes flew open and I lifted the hem of my dress, pulled down my panties, and gasped in absolute shock when I saw the creamy semen that was leaking out of my pussy. The FUCK?

How did that get there? Did I have SEX? With WHO? How? The FUCK?

In a panic, I jerked myself off the bed and felt over my whole body. Nothing seemed hurt. My chest felt a little weird and as I reached behind my back, I realized that my bra had been hooked crookedly. What was going on? Why couldn't I remember? How the fuck did sperm get inside me?

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God. Our family wasn't religious but I was praying for an answer right now. Think, Dawn. Think!

I vaguely remembered making out with Ryan at Ricky Jaina's house. I remembered taking our clothes off to get ready for sex. Oh, shit! Had I cheated on Ben with Ryan? Had I finally gone too far and lost control? SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! No! I couldn't live with this. Would Ben break up with me? He wouldn't handle this. No! It was destiny! He was my true love! We belonged together! This couldn't be HAPPENING!

How the fuck did I get home? Did I really drink THAT much? What the hell was in those beer cups? And Ryan had given me just ONE more beer before taking me upstairs. I remembered that, I think. Why couldn't I remember clearly?

And Mark was there! I was in his house! He was so sweet and he kissed me. I knew he was still in love with me. Oh, God. Did I fuck him too?

I remembered him on top of me. I wanted him. Or did I? Why couldn't I remember? I certainly wasn't stopping him. He kissed me so sweetly and he ate me out so pleasantly before ... I think. Ugh, my memory was a jumble. Was that even tonight? I remembered Mark eating me in his living room when we were dating. Would I have let him tonight? Oh, hell. How much did I have to drink?

And Ben! Oh, hell. How had this happened? I LOVED Ben! I loved him with ALL MY HEART. Why? Why you STUPID SLUT, Dawn? WHY?

Before I realized it, my cell phone was in hand and I was holding down the 2- button. I had to call him. I NEEDED to call him.

I had to admit that I'd made a mistake. I had to admit that I had too much to drunk. I had to beg for Ben's forgiveness and explain everything I could. Yeah, I had some other man's cum running out of me. Maybe two. But I regretted it. Oh, shit I regretted it. I LOVED Ben. Surely he could forgive me? He HAD to know how much I loved him. He HAD to know how much we belonged together. He HAD to know I was sorry.

And then his voice was there. "Dawn?" I was filled with elation.

"Ben?" I sniffled, my voice weak and wavering. Oh, how could I explain this? How could I tell him what had happened when I wasn't even sure what happened. How could I have LET it happen? Distraught, I started sobbing without restraint.

"Dawn? Dawn?" Ben, my love, my true love, asked in a clearly worried tone.

"I'm so sorry, Ben," I wailed. He had to know how sorry I was. He HAD to know I loved him with every fiber of my being. "I ... I ... I think I just cheated on you."

He went silent. Not a sound came back through the phone. I would have been happier if he yelled at me. I would have been happier if he just gasped a confused and shocked, 'What?'

But he didn't. I got nothing but silence, and the silence scared the SHIT out of me.

"Ben, let me explain," I whimpered desperately. "There was this Halloween party and I'd had a couple of drinks. But-"

[beep beep beep]

He'd hung up on me. "Ben?" I called in desperation, hearing nothing returning through the line. "Ben?"

Frantically, I looked at the neon green screen to confirm that the call had ended. And then I was holding down the 2-button in a panic. "Ben?" I pleaded aloud into the phone that had not yet established a connection. "Pick up, pick up, pick up," I whimpered as it rang and rang and rang. Eventually, it went to his voicemail.

Quickly I hit the END-button and re-pressed the 2-button. "Ben!" I wailed as I called him again...

And again...

And again...

He never picked up.

And in abject, wretched sorrow, I threw my head back and screamed to the heavens, "BENNNNNN!!!"