Adrift l

MONDAY, MAY 19, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

"I can't do this."

Such a simple phrase, four little words that individually are so common and mundane as to be irrelevant. But strung together, with the weight of Adrienne's emotions behind them, the phrase managed to wrap around my heart, squeeze until it simply collapsed, and left me a crushed and vacant shell of the man I used to be.

What does 'I can't do this' even mean? Did Adrienne mean 'I can't deal with these weighty emotions right now because it's finals but we'll talk about it at the end of the week'? Did she mean 'I love you but I'm not ready to take that next committed step in our relationship but I still want to be your casual girlfriend'?

Or did she mean 'The relationship is over; I'm dumping your overbearing ass and never talking to you again'?

I didn't know. I wasn't sure. And all I really knew was that I HURT inside. I hurt so much that I didn't even know how badly I hurt. It was as if my emotions — shocked so suddenly and so abruptly — merely shut down in self-defense. I felt cold and detached and ... nothing else.

Well, my kneecaps hurt. Kneeling on hardwood will do that to you. So I rocked back into a full squat, rubbing my knees before standing upright. Only then did I look around the room and notice that Dawn was still standing in the doorway, one hand covering her mouth in abject shock herself. She blinked several times as I simply started walking toward her.

At first, she removed her hand from her mouth to reach out to me, but I ignored her motion and simply walked past her and out into the hallway. I didn't need comforting right now. Robots don't need comforting. Robots can't feel. I simply wanted to verify that Adrienne was well and truly gone.

She was. The hallway was empty. The front door was closed.

But I wasn't alone. Dawn still stood right behind me. And crowding the entryway between the hallway and the living room were Paige, Ryan, Bert, and Robin. The four of them had been studying for finals, but now looked back at me with surprised expressions on their faces. Clearly, they'd seen a sobbing Adrienne hurry out the door with Grace holding her. And as one, the four of them studied me as if an explanation would come tumbling out of my lips.

None was forthcoming. Robots don't need to explain unless a direct question is asked of them. I simply nodded to myself in confirmation that Adrienne was gone, and then I turned back to my bedroom. Going into a catatonic shut-down right now seemed like a very good idea.

But just as I was turning about, Gwen stepped out of the bathroom and came to a dead stop, startled to find six people staring at her. Her mouth opened slightly and she quickly glanced around at all six of us, silently standing around the hallway. "Uh, what's going on?"

To this day, I'm not entirely sure why I did what I did next. I search back through my memory and wonder what processes of logic led me to that particular course of action, and I come up empty. Perhaps my brain had already shut off and I moved entirely on instinct. I simply reacted according to my nature.

And I am a sexual creature.

Without warning, I reached out and grabbed Gwen's arm, yanking her abruptly through my bedroom doorway and slamming the door shut before Dawn could even react. I'd flipped the lock and propelled the dirty-blonde babe over to my bed before she even realized what was happening to her, and had Gwen seated at the edge of the mattress by the time the urgent banging on the door began.

"Ben!" Dawn called, alarm in her voice. The sound of the doorknob being twisted soon followed.

"Ben! What's going on?" Paige's voice plaintively joined her.

"Ben, what's going on?" Gwen repeated, a note of fear creeping into her voice. I can only imagine what was going through her mind at that point. My face was impassive, my expression cold. But then she had no more time to react as I simply tackled her flat on her back across my bed and shoved my tongue into her mouth.

"MMPH!" Gwen grunted in surprise and at first, her lips fought to resist me. But then as my hands raced across her body, I felt her mouth go slack and accept my tongue while lightning bolts of pleasure shot through her. And her grunt turned into a soft, aroused moan. "Mmm..."

I was completely on autopilot. Completely absent of rational thought, I didn't bother to contemplate what I was doing or why I was doing it. I simply MOVED. My fingertips ran up the naked skin of her sides, pulling the hem of her polo shirt up her torso and out of the way. The sensations tickled her gently and caused her to spasm momentarily and tighten up her muscles. And while she was still in this tense state, my right hand slipped beneath her bra and pinched HARD onto her left nipple, the more sensitive one, causing her to squeak in pain and surprise.

While she was still squeaking, I bore down even harder with my mouth, forcefully pressing my lips into hers and shoving her head deeper into the mattress. Without words, I told her that she was mine. I owned her body. And she would submit beneath me. My right hand gripped her boob and pinched the nipple again while my left hand slid back down to her hips and deftly undid the clasp of her jeans. Once the jeans went slack around her waist, I slipped my hand beneath the band of her panties and slid my palm around her hip to cup her right asscheek. And then I mounted her body and ground the bulge in my own jeans against her crotch, crushing her beneath me while I once again imposed my will over hers with my mouth.

I'd only ever been with Gwen the one time, that Thanksgiving weekend when I gave Dawn to Ryan. But that was all the experience I needed. Her user manual was pretty simple, and I had all the procedures committed to memory. And after running my right thumb along the crease beneath her left breast and rubbing my left index finger through the valley of her butt-cleavage, I had her right where I wanted her as I slid off her body to lie beside the trembling girl.

Gwen let her head fall back as I moved my weight off her, gasping for oxygen and struggling to focus. Her mind was racing from the incredibly passionate kiss I'd just finished planting on her and even though I was no longer physically smothering her, my right hand was still stimulating her body. But she managed one tiny moment of clarity. "Ben!" she gasped. "What's going on?"

I didn't bother to answer. I was already shifting myself into a better position as my left hand came out from palming her ass, sliding around inside her panties until I once again was in front, my fingers rustling through her trimmed pubic hairs. All the little touches and caresses up until this point had been solely to stoke her arousal and get her just barely wet enough for what I wanted to do next. And without further ado, I plunged my middle finger between her slightly damp labia.

"Oh, SHIT!" Gwen threw her head back, her eyes popping WIDE open. Her dirty blonde hair had been growing out ever since I first met her, now practically a mane of elegantly done curls and waves that haloed around her head, longer than pretty much any other girl I knew. The mess of dark and blonde mixed together gave her a wild look. And her light brown eyes, accented by her dark mascara and heavy eyeshadow, made her look even wilder.

I nibbled on her neck, groped her tit, and plunged my finger in and out of her rapidly moistening pussy. Gwen panted and moaned in obvious heat despite being unceremoniously yanked into my bedroom just minutes before. My right hand was now racing across her body, unsnapping her bra and shoving both it and her shirt above her perky tits. I also tugged down at her jeans and thong panties, giving my left hand more room to maneuver. And then I abruptly pulled myself away from her neckline as I used both hands to jerk her bottoms off her legs in a single, smooth motion.

"Ben!" Gwen picked her head up as she found herself completely naked below her shoulders. A measure of clarity had returned once I no longer had a finger wriggling inside her pussy. And she held her hands up to me in a 'wait, wait' gesture. "Ben we can't do this! I'm a slut! Not a cheater!"

The word "cheater" was the first thing that stirred my brain from its self-imposed slumber. She was right. Gwen had a boyfriend now: Rick Rusedski. He was a nice enough guy. A little frat boy for my taste, but he was still Gwen's boyfriend. And I had his girlfriend naked before me.

Maybe I should have stopped then. But while my brain had awoken, it was not yet in control of my body. I simply stared at the pretty girl, seeing the indecision on her face as I crawled between her legs and gripped her thighs in my hands. All year, Gwen had been begging me for an encore to what she termed "the greatest sexual experience of her life". Now, she was about to get it.

So I left the decision up to her. "You wanna stop? Just say 'stop'," I said gruffly. Then I pulled apart her thighs and ducked my head a little lower. Exhaling straight onto her pussy, I waited to the count of three.

One...

Two...

Three...

She didn't say 'stop'. So I stuck out my tongue and swiped it along Gwen's slit from base to clit. She shuddered, shivered, and moaned.

And then I fucked the shit out of her.

"Unnnghhh..." Gwen groaned, her eyebrows furrowing. She lay on her side, right cheek pressed into the mattress, an obvious dark spot of wetness radiating out from her mouth where she'd been drooling for the past ten minutes. Her dirty- blonde hair was still a mess, her sweaty bangs now sticking to her forehead. Her eyes were pinched shut and she whimpered constantly while I continued sawing in and out of her sopping wet pussy.

I was currently straddling Gwen's right leg as I fucked her. Her left knee was bent back to her own belly, propping her on her side while I drilled myself in and out of her body. Her light skin was flush with heat and moisture, now slightly pink. Her asscheeks were even redder from where I'd been repeatedly spanking her. Save for the blonde's whimpering, the only sound in the room was that of her twice cum-filled pussy squishing audibly with my every stroke.

And I was about to fill her for a third time.

She'd already gone limp. Gwen was completely exhausted, having endured more orgasms than I could count. There was no tenderness to our fucking. I simply drove her up and over the proverbial wall again and again without mercy or consideration. I didn't make her cum to make her happy. I made her cum for the visceral self-satisfaction of making the poor girl go so far beyond her limits. I'd made her pass out once before, that first fuck a year and a half ago. I could have done it again an hour ago. But some dark, twisted part of me enjoyed stringing her along, keeping her on the brink of unconsciousness at the razor's edge between pleasure and oblivion.

But now as I felt my third ejaculation building up inside me, I decided to get it over with. I hadn't taken my cock completely out of her cunt even once for this entire session, squirting her full of jism twice and continuing to rut inside her until I got hard again. But even in my cold, robotic mode, I was tiring.

So my left hand moved away from her swaying breast and down to her pussy. I grazed my fingertips lightly over her already abused clit, tickling the protruding love button so that the sensations would be impossible to ignore.

Even exhausted, Gwen twitched and wriggled as she felt the direct stimulation, her whimpering turning back into desperate moans. "Please..." she groaned, not finishing the sentence. What did she mean? 'Please make me cum', perhaps? She might even be pleading, 'Please just make it all stop; I can't handle any more'.

I was about to do both, anyways. I teased her clit until her breathing shortened into staccato, gasping bursts. Gwen hyperventilated as the overwhelming sensations flooded her mind; and I watched her neck contorting as mixed pain and pleasure wracked her body. For over and hour and a half straight, I'd manipulated her body like a marionette, making her cum when and how I wanted. And now I would finally finish her off.

Her gasps sped up until she couldn't possibly breathe any faster, and just as I sensed her reaching her zenith, I clamped my left hand over her mouth and nostrils, suffocating her briefly. At the same time, I rammed my cock in and out of her cunt at a rapid pace while popping my right index finger into her clenched asshole. And deprived of oxygen and overstimulated by the pain and my finger up her butt, Gwen exploded. Her whole body jerked, her spine bending as she arched backwards. With my hand still covering her nose and mouth, I used her body as leverage to lunge my cock to maximum depth inside her cunt. And then I held her there, smothered beneath my heavy weight, unable to move or breathe while the orgasm literally sent her into a seizure.

After about fifteen seconds of this, her eyes rolled up into her head as she passed out. Gwen's body curled up and went totally limp; and I dropped my hands away, planting my palms on the mattress to support myself while I felt my dickhead expand and begin spitting out my third batch of semen into her now- unconscious body. She was utterly motionless, except for her still clenching and spasming cunt, now so overloaded with both her own and my orgasmic fluids that her pussy muscles started squirting juices out of our joining to soak both her and my thighs.

When I was done, and only when I was done, I finally rolled off her and flat onto my back, panting heavily with my own exertion. I left Gwen a puddle of orgasmic goo beside me, curled in a fetal position and comatose with her still twitching pussy squirting out more and more mingled spunk.

And then I surrendered to unconsciousness myself.

I woke up with my eyes still closed, but somehow I knew exactly where I was and who I was with.

I was buck naked in my room, lying flat on my back on my own bed. My head was currently in the warm lap of a beautiful girl. And she was tenderly stroking my hair back from my forehead and along my scalp.

I stiffened slightly as I came awake, and her soothing hand stroked deeper and more firmly, calming me. I realized that I was cocooned beneath my blankets, which covered my nudity and kept me warm. And still with my eyes closed, I exhaled slowly before asking, "What time is it, Dawn?"

My best friend's sweet voice answered, "Almost nine. PM. You've been asleep for more than two hours."

Slowly, I cracked my eyelids open and blinked as Dawn's pretty face came into focus. She had changed and showered since I last saw her, now wearing a baggy T-shirt with no bra and her hair held back in a simple ponytail, more functional than stylish. And her crystal blue eyes looked down on me with nothing but love, warmth, and understanding.

Recognizing these emotions, I realized that my brain was once again active and in control of my body. And with that activity came the memories of Adrienne walking out, as well as of what I'd done to Gwen. Not "with" Gwen. "To" Gwen.

"Where's Gwen?" I asked, my tongue still feeling a little thick.

Dawn's eyebrows rose, but she nodded. "She woke up about twenty minutes ago and let us in. Bert and Robin took her back to the dorms."

I nodded and exhaled slowly. Then wincing, I stared my friend in her eyes and asked, "Does she hate me?"

Dawn arched an eyebrow at my question. She thought about it for a moment before answering. "Well ... she's confused. She's exhausted. Bert practically had to carry her out the door. But no, I don't think she hates you."

I exhaled in relief and closed my eyes. "Okay..."

"Why'd you do it?" Dawn asked softly.

Slowly, I cracked my eyes opened again. "What? Fuck her?"

Dawn nodded.

I shook my head, both hearing and feeling the friction of my hair in her lap. "I don't know. It's all kind of a haze." And then I sighed before zeroing in on my last really clear memory. It was that of Adrienne walking away. I flashed my gaze up to Dawn's eyes again and asked hesitantly. "Did ... did Adrienne come back?"

I saw the answer in Dawn's eyes. She looked so sad and sympathetic for me that I felt my heart cracking anew. My lips quivered and I felt like breaking down into tears again. She was gone. My girlfriend ... my love ... was gone. She'd walked away from me. And somehow I knew this wasn't just a simple fight where everything would be fine in the morning. My relationship with Adrienne — at least the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship — was over.

Just as I started whimpering on the path to full-blown sobbing, Dawn held both my cheeks and stared down at me. "Hey!"

It was sudden enough that my attempt at sobbing like a little baby was stopped before I really got started. I opened my eyes and looked at her in confusion.

"You want something to eat?" Dawn asked flippantly. "We ordered pizza and there're plenty of leftovers."

I winced and then shook my head. Food was not interesting to me right now. But her little shock worked; while still sad, I didn't feel like crying anymore.

Dawn nodded in understanding and went back to stroking my forehead. I sighed and closed my eyes again, wanting to just melt into her lap and make the world go away. But a male voice cleared his throat. "Ahem."

I opened my eyes and looked over. Ryan was standing in the open doorway, one arm leaning against the frame. He too, was dressed to stay in tonight. Most of the time he went home, but this looked like a night when he was sleeping over in Dawn's room. "You coming back out?"

Dawn glanced down at me, clearly torn. I reached up and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. "Don't leave me," I pleaded. "Not right now."

Dawn sighed and glanced back up at her boyfriend. I kept my gaze on her face as she softened her eyes and told him, "Not right now. Okay?"

Ryan exhaled, a slight note of frustration in the sound. He understood that I was hurting, and it wasn't like Dawn and I were getting naked behind a locked door. But the guy would forever wonder if when push came to shove, whether his girlfriend would choose him or me. Still, he walked away. And Dawn went back to stroking my hair.

I never did get up to go get something to eat.

And Dawn never went back to her bedroom.

TUESDAY, MAY 20, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

The clock read 7:05am when my eyes fluttered open. I didn't need to move to see the digital readout; it was in my line of sight just past Dawn's right ear. My arms instinctively tightened as the tingling sensation of awareness spread throughout my body, and I realized that not only was my morning wood pressed into Dawn's panty-clad asscrack, but I was also cupping a very round, very firm breast with only a thin cotton layer between my hand and her bare skin.

Reflexively, my hand squeezed the boob and Dawn moaned lightly. My mind was a blank slate. I'd been so exhausted that I slept deeply and soundly throughout the night, a dreamless sleep that was entirely about recovery. I didn't know where I was or why. But I knew I was holding Dawn — my Dawn — in my arms and nothing else mattered.

I continued rubbing Dawn's breast until I heard the barely noticeable change in her breathing. I stopped rubbing just then, but Dawn began taking longer and deeper breaths, and presently she began turning her head towards me. And as the morning light shone down brilliantly on her angelic face, my stunningly beautiful soulmate lit up in a wide smile and said happily, "Mmm ... morning, Ben!"

"Hi..." I smiled happily and squeezed her a little tighter, my hand idly rubbing her breast as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I dipped my face toward hers, puckering my lips as she closed her eyes and moved in to meet me.

And then awareness seemed to hit the both of us at the same time. My eyes popped open and I jerked my hand away. Dawn's eyes popped open and she backed away from me.

"Oh, Dawn, Dawn. I'm so sorry," I muttered. I realized I was still buck naked beneath the blankets, my erection rubbing against her butt, that part of her asscheek uncovered by her thong panties.

"No, no. It's okay. Not your fault," she flustered and checked her shirt to tug it down around her waist while rolling her ass away from my cock.

"It is. It is. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay. It's nobody's fault," Dawn sighed. And after futzing around with her clothes for another few seconds, my best friend nervously looked over at me as she sat up in bed, the blankets falling down around her lap.

Just then, Brandi appeared at the open doorway, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. "Figures." My older sister smirked. "One amazingly gorgeous blonde breaks up with you, so you drag another pretty blonde into your bedroom and fuck her brains out. And then you spend the night cuddling with a third hot blonde."

Dawn blushed and looked down before slipping out of the bed. "I'd better go do damage control with Ryan."

I sat up, keeping the blankets covering my lap while wrapping my arms around my legs. I nodded to my best friend. "I'm sorry about all this."

"No, don't be." Dawn shook her head. "I was right where I needed to be — where I wanted to be — last night."

I managed a smile, despite the melancholic thoughts of Adrienne that were coming back into mind. "Thanks, Dawn. Really."

My best friend smiled and nodded. Then she headed out of the room.

Once Dawn was gone, I leaned back against the headboard and sighed. Brandi took the opportunity to enter into the room, close the door behind her, and slide onto the bed beside me, coffee mug and all. She sat on top of the covers. "How are you holding up?"

"What? With Adrienne?" I asked with my eyes still closed and my head tilted back.

Brandi nodded. Well, I think she nodded. In any case, I answered. "I dunno. I don't think it's sunk in yet. I don't feel ... anything ... really."

"Well, you've been keeping yourself pretty distracted since then." Brandi chuckled.

I shrugged. "How do I look like I'm holding up?"

"Honestly?" Brandi smiled and I cracked my eyes open in time to see the typical family eyebrow arch. "You look just fine. If Matt had walked out on me in the middle of Finals Week, I'd be a sobbing mess on the floor."

"You missed it. That was me last night."

"Wasn't for long from what Dawn told me. She said you picked yourself up, walked straight out the door, and then grabbed Gwen to fuck the poor girl's brains out."

I winced and sighed. "Yeah. I'm still not exactly sure how that all happened. I was kind of mentally checked out at the time."

"Checked out?" Brandi snorted. "If that's how you fuck when you're mentally checked out, I need to find a way to put you in that state the next time I need some stress relief. Gwen sounded like she was being murdered in here ... in a very good way. Dayna and I couldn't study worth a damn upstairs so we came down to join the party camped out in the living room to listen."

I winced. "You guys were camped out in the living room?"

My sister nodded, a smirk on her face. But then her expression changed. "Uh, Paige wasn't too happy about it though."

My shoulders sagged. I'd forgotten for the moment about my other girlfriend. "She pissed at me?"

"Jealous more like it. She declared more than once, and I quote, that it was supposed to be HER job to be the sacrificial lamb at your altar of lustful vengeance."

I smirked at the biblical undertones in the phrasing. Then, unexpectedly, the weight of Adrienne's leaving suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and I promptly keeled over onto my side, grimacing in obvious pain as the desire to bawl like a newborn baby overwhelmed me.

"Eep!" Brandi shrieked as I toppled toward her, just barely managing not to spill her coffee.

I was on my side in a fetal position now, my eyes wide open and staring blankly at nothing. "She's really gone, isn't she?"

"I don't know," Brandi replied honestly. "I wasn't there."

"She's gone," I stated. "I know it. I mean, she's coming back here, obviously. All her stuff is here. But the relationship is over."

"You don't know that. Couples have fights and misunderstandings all the time," Brandi said reassuringly. "I've seen you and Adrienne together, Ben. You two LOVE each other. That girl absolutely worships the ground you walk on and she would like nothing better than to be in your orbit for the rest of her life. She NEEDS you in her life."

I sighed. I heard the ring of truth in what Brandi was saying, but as I stopped and thought about it, I finally realized what Adrienne had meant when she said 'I can't do this'. Yeah, Adrienne wanted me to be in her life, but I'd pushed her beyond what she could handle right now. The signs were all there before, but I'd ignored them and just plowed ahead with my own vision of the future. I'd promised I would never push her too far, and then I went ahead and did it anyways. And taking a deep breath, I winced and started rocking slightly on the bed, trembling as the weight of my great mistake came crashing over me.

"Ben, what is it?" My sister put her hand on my shoulder to try and calm me.

"I scared her away," I whimpered.

"Scared her? How?"

I went dead still, eyes staring blankly at the abyss before me. And I quietly answered, "I asked her to be my wife."

Brandi got me to explain what I meant about asking Adrienne to be my wife. I told her about all my talk of settling down and getting married and raising a family. Meanwhile, Adrienne waffled on whether she ever wanted to get married and told me how she had no intention of ever having kids. I told Brandi about Adrienne questioning her sexuality and how she'd always been more attracted to girls than guys. And I told her about the promise ring. True, I hadn't actually asked Adrienne to marry me right then and there, but I HAD more or less asked her to start down that path with me.

With all of Adrienne's commitment issues, the gold band sliding around her finger must have felt like a prison chain.

Brandi summed it up. "Adrienne doesn't want to settle down with you, Ben. That girl adores you, but she's not the settling down type. Not right now at least. She's too ... well... unsettled."

I sighed. I knew it. Dawn had known it last night, but since the whole thing hadn't blown up in my face yet, she hadn't said anything at the time. And even afterwards, Dawn was too good to me to ever say 'I told you so'.

But now Brandi was blunt enough for the both of them. "You're such a moron, Ben. How did you not know? When has Adrienne ever given you a signal that she wanted to settle down with you?"

"She told me she'd love me forever and always," I ventured plaintively.

"I'll love you forever and always. That doesn't mean I want to settle down with you." Brandi rolled her eyes. "She was your girlfriend. She enjoyed being your girlfriend. But it wasn't supposed to last forever."

"Why not?" I whimpered. I clung desperately to the fantasy of being happily ever after with Adrienne. "She promised 'forever'."

Brandi sighed. "Wake up, kiddo. You're eighteen. You're a freshman in college. What the hell do you know about 'forever'? And haven't you been paying attention to the way your girlfriend IS, not the way you might wish her to be?"

I just winced and ducked my head while my big sister went and pointed out all the little things Adrienne did to show me that she didn't want that kind of permanent commitment. I just kept my eyes closed and absorbed each verbal insight like they were body blows to my mid-section.

In the end, I was exhausted. I was hungry. And my head was spinning. What if I hadn't given Adrienne the ring? What if I'd been less needy and let her explore her relationship with Grace more freely? Was it all a waste of time anyways if Adrienne didn't want the same things as me in the future? Was I just blind and rushing things since we'd only really been "together" for a year?

All of these things raced through my mind, so fast and so hard that I couldn't think straight and my skull was starting to throb. And once again, I felt myself slipping away into catatonia, staring blankly as I contemplated the nature of my existence.

"Ben?" Brandi asked after a while, realizing that I was no longer responsive. My brain had become such a mess that I just ignored her and kept on thinking and thinking and thinking.

"Ben?" she asked again, this time waving her hand in front of my eyes. Still I ignored her.

But Brandi wasn't about to passively let me retreat into my own little world. My sister huffed once in annoyance and then reached forward, physically rolling me and rolling me until I went right off the end of the bed, coming out naked from underneath the blankets and falling onto the floor in a messy heap.

"Oww!" I only woke up when I realized how much it hurt to fall without cushioning yourself.

"You've got a final in an hour, Ben," Brandi glared at me. "Man up and focus."

"I can't..." I groaned, holding my head and feeling pain both from my Adrienne- torment AND from physically landing on the stupid lump of meat. "My mind is going around a million miles an hour. I don't even know WHICH final I have."

Brandi sighed and arched her eyebrow, staring at my pathetic body. I was kneeling on the floor, slumped over the edge of the bed grimacing in pain. It wasn't that landing on the floor really hurt me; it was my agony over how I'd messed things up with Adrienne. Then without another word, my sister got up and headed for the door.

I put my head face-down into the mattress. Now even Brandi was leaving me.

[click]

Furrowing my eyebrows, I turned my head. Brandi had locked the door and returned to me, reaching down to grab underneath my armpits and help hoist me onto the bed. I was still buck naked and she turned me around, immediately taking my cock in hand. And she began to stroke me.

"Brandi! Wha-?" I hissed. The house was NOT very well soundproofed and on this weekday, the likelihood of someone who wasn't supposed to know just how close my sister and I were might very well be outside. Hell, I was pretty sure Ryan was still in the house somewhere.

Brandi reached forward with her off-hand and put a finger to my lips, telling me to keep still and keep quiet while she glanced at the door. And with that finger still on my lips to silence me, my older sister ducked her head down and gently took my not-quite hard dick into her mouth.

My brain instantly quieted down. It's hard to think about other things when a warm, wet mouth is surrounding your cock and doing its level best to give you as much pleasure as humanly possible. I let my head fall back across the bed as I surrendered to the bliss. And Brandi's mouth descended further down around me, humming and sucking and licking the big vein running underneath my growing shaft.

"Ohhh ... Brandi..." I groaned softly; I dared not get any louder. Then I moved my hands to her head, guiding her up and down motions. "So good, Brandi. You're so good, sis. Suck me. Suck me."

It was so wrong. It was so naughty...

... It was in her mouth. Brandi had brought both hands into play, jacking me firmly while her mouth danced around the head. And mid-stroke I popped off, sending the first spurt of spunk onto my sister's tongue which she swallowed eagerly.

"Ohhh ... Brandi..." I groaned again, feeling my head clearing with the ejaculation. I'm a sexual creature. It's how I work. And Brandi kept milking me. With one hand, she coaxed out every drop of cum, jacking up with every blast to maximize the load that splattered against the back of her mouth. And after the first three of four bursts, she started hoovering me in desperate search for more ... and more ... and more ... until there was nothing left to give.

Smacking her lips, Brandi picked her head up and sighed with deep satisfaction. I saw her left hand was still holding my deflating prick, but she brought her right hand up from her own panties, coated in her own slimy fluids. And daintily, my sister licked her own fingers clean.

"I've got your sperm in my belly, little brother..." Brandi sighed, her eyes sizzling. "Isn't that so... wrong..."

I groaned and winced. "So wrong..."

"And yet," my older sister smiled. "So right."

I just nodded, thinking of absolutely nothing but blissful pleasure.

"Now," she said sternly, her big sister voice coming back to her. "Get dressed. Get something to eat. And go do your final today. Got it?"

I nodded and gave my sister a look of heartfelt love and warmth. "Thank you."

After the head-clearing ejaculation, I managed to keep thoughts of Adrienne at bay long enough to take my final. But as the three-hour exam wore on, the harder I tried to keep her out of my mind the more she crept into it. I didn't completely bomb the test, but I knew I could have done better.

At least this time, I had a plan. Tuesdays, Adrienne and Grace usually met up with Misty and Kim at their usual café. I usually met up with them as well, and this was one appointment I intended to keep.

I found the four girls sitting together at a booth, already halfway through their meals. I marched in, grabbed an extra chair, and plopped myself down at the end of the table to face four absolutely shocked faces.

Clearly, none of them were expecting me to just show up.

"Hi, Adrienne," I said off-hand, but with a slight menace in my voice. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to say, Ben," Adrienne said quietly and looked away. I noticed Grace glaring at me on the other side of Adrienne, holding her girlfriend's hand even tighter. On the opposite side of the table, Misty and Kim were merely evaluating me curiously.

"There's a lot to say," I started, consciously softening my voice. I wasn't here to threaten her. "And it starts with me apologizing for pushing you too far too fast."

"It's not that simple," Adrienne shook her head.

"Then explain it to me," I pleaded. "Neither of us have a final this afternoon. Let's go somewhere and talk."

"Not now, Ben."

"Then when?"

"Please don't push me more, Ben." Adrienne was on the verge of tears.

I sighed and physically backed away. I hadn't realized I'd been leaning forward, looming over her. "The last thing I want to do is push you, Adrienne."

"Then don't." For the first time, she raised her eyes to mine. "Just let it be."

I felt like we'd had this conversation before, back when Adrienne just wanted to be "nottogether". I exhaled slowly, looking down before stating, "You HAVE to come home eventually. All your stuff is in our room."

She blinked and took a deep breath. "Of course. But not right now." Adrienne's hands suddenly shot out to mine, grabbing the tops of them and holding on firmly. "Please, Ben. Just give me until the end of finals. This is what I need to do to focus on my exams. I can't try to work out the details of our relationship and study at the same time, alright? But come Friday, we'll talk. I promise. I'll be home when you get back from your last final. Please ... can you wait for me?"

I sighed, slowly turning my hands over so that I could meet Adrienne palm to palm. But she pulled her hands away from mine before I could grab her. For a few seconds, I just stared at my empty hands, feeling absolutely and completely heartbroken. I wanted answers. I wanted resolution. Maybe Adrienne could suppress her feelings and keep them locked away long enough to finish her finals, but I wasn't sure I could do the same.

But I would. I would have to. For her. I still loved her. And she hadn't officially come out and said we were broken up ... yet.

"Okay," I sighed. "I'll wait for you. Friday. I'll leave you alone until then."

"Thank you, Ben," Adrienne said softly. And then she stood. Grace stood up with her, and with only a head nod to their friends, the pair of them walked out of the café.

I left my elbows on the table and raised my palms up just in time to meet my face as I hunched over, fighting the urge to start crying anew. How the hell was I going to last three more days without some sort of closure?

"You never should have let her date Grace," Misty remarked.

I peeked my eyes out, a confused expression on my face.

"Don't get me wrong," Misty continued. "Grace is my roommate and my friend. I like to see her happy. But you were playing with fire when you agreed to let your girlfriend regularly date someone else, another girl or not."

I sighed. "That wasn't the problem."

"Oh? Adrienne's practically LIVED in our room for the past few months," Misty went on. "It'd bother me if I wasn't spending all MY time at my boyfriend's."

I shrugged. "The time away wasn't our problem. Nor was the sharing. Adrienne and I had a very unique relationship."

"I'll say..." Kim mused.

I arched an eyebrow at the pretty Japanese-American girl, but she just blushed and shook her head. "So if it wasn't the time apart, what broke you guys up?" she went on to ask. "Grace and Adrienne didn't tell us the details."

I sighed and said it again, still not quite believing it. "I gave her a promise ring."

"Ohhh..." Both girls nodded in understanding. And then Misty added, "Uh, didn't you KNOW Adrienne didn't want to settle down?"

Jeez, did EVERYONE know but me? I buried my face in my palms again, moaning in agony.

Kim just reached over and patted my back. "Apparently he didn't."

Since I didn't have a Tuesday afternoon final, I wandered around the campus for about an hour, just walking to nowhere and letting my mind spin and spin and spin. Like a piece of debris adrift on the ocean currents, I simply went wherever fate took me.

A part of me hoped fate would take me in front of a bus.

But no bus came, and none would come unless I got myself off the middle of campus and over to one of the streets. Even then, I didn't trust myself not to ignore Adrienne's Friday edict and run to find her, to plead with her to take me back. So I just kept walking.

Eventually, I just got so exhausted that I had no choice but to head home before I collapsed on some random sidewalk.

When I got home, I found that the room I'd shared with Adrienne all year had changed quite a bit in my absence. Books were gone, clothes, and most of Adrienne's makeup kit. I nearly sank to the floor when I realized that she'd come home at last, only to leave again before I returned.

Dawn appeared in the doorway behind me. "She and Grace came to pick up her stuff. Adrienne said she'd be back on Friday to pack up."

Without turning to face my best friend, I simply nodded. She walked up and put her hand on my shoulder, clearly asking without words if I wanted some company. I reached up and patted her hand, then stepped forward into the room. Dawn took the hint and left me alone, closing the door behind me.

And then I did what I always did in situations like this. I made sure all the curtains were shut, plunging the room into semi-darkness. Then I moved to the bed and sat down, simmering under my own personal dark cloud, determined to radiate 'get-the-fuck-away-from-me' signals to anyone who dared intrude on my melancholy.

Paige didn't get the memo.

I'd been sitting there in the dark for about an hour when the door opened again. Half of me expected to see Brooke standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel. And for a brief moment I thought I did see my little sister.

But then the face coalesced into Paige's elfin features, the hair a shade of auburn instead of a deep, dark brown. And this girl didn't bother approaching me slowly or waving her hands in front of my unblinking eyes. The little redheaded hurricane more or less tackled me and pushed and shoved until I was flat on my back and she was sitting astride my chest. "What the FUCK is wrong with you?"

This was not my day for contemplation. First Brandi rolled me off the freakin' bed; and now this. Maybe I should have stayed out on the sidewalks.

"I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, remember?" Paige whined plaintively. "You're supposed to TALK to me when something's bothering you. And if you don't want to TALK, I'M the one you're supposed to bend over and fuck until you get it out of your system. Got it?"

I just blinked rapidly, still a little in shock by the petite girl sitting on my chest and glaring at me from inches away.

"So what's it gonna be?" Paige narrowed her eyes at me. "Talk or fuck?"

A surge of annoyance and pain raced through my veins. I rolled my eyes and then suddenly gripped Paige's arms almost too tightly in my hands. And then I sat up and violently flipped us over, lifting up the petite girl's light weight before slamming her down onto her back.

"Goody!" my pixie giggled breathlessly. "I was hoping you'd pick 'fuck'. Goddamn I got so horny listening to you last night!"

I didn't answer coherently. I just growled and ripped her schoolgirl blouse open.

"Holy fuck! Holy shit! Mary, Mother of God, FUCK!" Paige squealed as she felt my cock unexpectedly burrowing up her asshole.

She was still wearing her entire schoolgirl outfit, minus the panties. Those I'd ripped to shreds in my urgency to get them off her; and the pieces were jagged rags on the floor somewhere. The back of her plaid skirt was folded up and tucked into her waistband to keep it out of the way, baring the young girl's creamy white ass. I'd been pounding her doggy-style. And at the last moment before my climax, I'd pulled out, jizzed straight onto her winking anus, and then used my own cum to push through Paige's now-lubricated sphincter to embed myself inside her anal chute.

The last two or three little pulses of cum squirted out of me and into my little girlfriend's rectum. Moaning and groaning, I pumped two or three more times, feeding Paige's tight asshole the full length of my cock as the last sensations of physical ecstasy passed through me. And then as the last of my energy drained away, I collapsed flat on her back, sending us both sprawling on top of the mattress.

Still working to please me, Paige clenched her anal muscles around me to revive my cock. But even her tight ass couldn't put raw energy back into my body and in the end I simply flopped over in exhaustion.

I couldn't go on. But even though the sex was over, Paige wasn't done trying to make me happy. She fetched some baby wipes and cleaned us both up before falling back into my arms. Showering my face with perky little kisses, she looked on me with motherly concern and asked me to tell her about how I felt. And then I finally told my other girlfriend the story of what went on with my first girlfriend.

It didn't take very long. After all, I'd already gotten the weight off my chest talking with Brandi. But there was still a lot of pain in my voice as I rehashed all my mistakes.

Too wrapped up in my narrative, I never noticed Paige's mood darkening as I told her my story. Over the course of a few minutes, she went from lovingly concerned to nervously worried. "You were really that serious about Adrienne? You wanted to settle down and get married and have kids and all that?" Paige asked quietly.

I sighed and nodded. "Someday. Even now, I want to find her and plead with her to take me back." It wasn't a secret. After all, I'd been talking with Dawn and Brandi about the same thing.

But then neither of those girls was my other girlfriend. And Paige sounded hurt as she asked, "You were never that serious about ME, were you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked down at the pretty girl, who'd rolled her own dark blue eyes up to meet my gaze. "Uh..."

"I love you, Ben. You know that, right?" There was no doubting the emotion in Paige's voice. "I really, really am in love with you."

I nodded, stroking her hair.

She took a deep breath and then quietly asked, "But you don't love me, do you?"

I glanced down at her. "Paige, we've been through this. I care about you. You know I do."

"But you don't love me like you do Adrienne."

I blinked. "Were you expecting me to?"

Paige sighed, pouting. "Well ... I hoped ... Maybe ... Y'know, it's been a few months now. We've been spending a lot of time together and I thought ... y'know ... feelings would ... develop..."

I sighed. "Paige, I will always care about you. But I told you I didn't have those feelings. That's why I said way back in the beginning that we shouldn't be together; because it wouldn't be fair to you."

"I thought I could change your mind," Paige whimpered pitifully.

I didn't answer right away. I just kept stroking her hair. And then taking a slow, deep breath, I exhaled and said, "I'm sorry, Red."

My petite little girlfriend snuggled closer in to me, burying her face against my chest. She whimpered a few more times, grabbing at my chest and then gripping my arm before turning her face up to look at me. There was no mistaking the sorrow in her deep blue eyes. "Adrienne leaving you doesn't change things, does it?"

"What do you mean?"

Paige blinked rapidly. "I was hoping that with her gone, you'd have more for me. I was hoping that if she wasn't taking up your time, your attention ... your love ... then you could give me more."

"Oh, Paige..." I sighed, stroking her hair again. "It doesn't work that way."

"Why not?" Paige pouted.

I sighed. "You'll learn ... little one." I brushed her bangs back from her forehead. "Feelings just don't work like that."

The pretty girl then scrunched her face up, looking angry and upset. "'Feelings don't work like that'?" she hissed.

"Paige..." I began.

"'Feelings don't WORK like that'?" she repeated in a clearly annoyed voice.

"Paige..." I pleaded.

"Nuh-uh," she cut me off. Quickly, the half-dressed girl pushed herself upright and wrapped the sheets around her body to cover herself, as if she was suddenly ashamed to let me see her nakedness. And then she tugged down her bra and shirt, fixing the schoolgirl outfit we'd shoved to the sides in our lovemaking, before darting off the bed to find what remained of her panties.

"Paige..."

"Forget it, Ben," she spat at me.

"Paige, please."

"No! I think I've wasted enough time on you, don't you think?" Her voice was a world of hurt. "I gave you everything! I gave you my virginity! And you can't even muster up enough of yourself to love me?"

"I do love you!"

"Like a little sister, right, you incestuous bastard? Not the way I want! Not the way I need! But I'm just not good enough for you, am I? Not good enough to be a girlfriend you actually LOVE! Noooo, only Adrienne — with her big tits and gorgeous face and perfect body — was good enough for you!"

"I can't help the way I feel," I pleaded. "I care about you. You KNOW I do."

"Goodbye, Ben."

"Paige-"

"NO." Paige's voice was deeper and more intense than I'd ever heard it before. "I hate you. We're done. Now you have ZERO girlfriends left." With that, the angry redhead stomped over to the door and flung it open. And without a backwards glance she stormed out the front door as well.

Ah, hell.

I was sitting up in bed by now, rubbing my forehead vigorously as if I could physically yank out all the bad emotions and fucked up situations from my brain. I felt a surge of adrenaline pushing through me, setting my limbs on fire as the frustration built inside me. Why was this happening? Did Paige really just dump me a day after Adrienne walked out on me? How did my life get sooo fucked up?

The longer I rubbed my forehead, the more my forehead began to hurt from the skin getting friction burn. FUCK! Why the FUCK was this happening? I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't handle it. It was all just TOO FUCKING MUCH.

Adrienne doesn't want to BE with me anymore. She loves me but she can't be tied down. And FUCK! My fucking GIRLFRIEND turned out to be a LESBIAN. She fucking picked GRACE over ME! FUCK! I stopped rubbing my forehead and switched to clenching the sheets in my hands, squeezing tighter and tighter as if I could compress the fabric into diamonds.

And Paige! I never wanted to START a fucking relationship with her. I always cared about her, but I KNEW I didn't have those kind of feelings for her. I'd TOLD her as much. But NO ... SHE said 'I'll take whatever I can get'. SHE said she'd accept however much I could give her, and wouldn't expect any more from me. But NO. She DID expect more. She DID want more. And when I couldn't give it to her, SHE fucking dumped ME! How fucked up is THAT? Why the FUCK was this HAPPENING?

ARRRGHHH!!!

A quiet knock sounded off by the open door. I jerked my head up, my hands gripping at my own forearms while I did my best to give myself an Indian Burn. And I saw Gwen standing in the doorway, her mane of dirty blonde hair hanging beautifully over her shoulders, her dark eyeshadow and mascara making her look dangerously alluring.

"Hi, Ben," Gwen said rather nervously. "We need to talk."

Talk?

Or Fuck?

Mechanically, I got off the bed and strode directly for her. Her eyes went wide as she looked down at my naked body, since I hadn't re-dressed after fucking Paige. And her eyes went even wider as she realized I had an erection.

Gwen only had time to squeak before I roughly grabbed the back of her neck with my left hand and gripped a breast with my right. I spun her into my bedroom, mashing my lips against hers and kicking the door shut at the same time. My tongue darted into her mouth as I bent her backwards and my right hand slid beneath the waistband of her jeans and into her panties, where a finger wormed its way inside her rapidly moistening pussy.

When we got to my bed, I dropped Gwen flat on her back where the dirty blonde babe simply gasped and looked at me with abject fear in her eyes. And as I climbed onto the bed to loom on all fours above her supine body, all she could whimper was, "Oh, God. Not again!"

I didn't give Gwen the option of saying 'no' or saying 'stop' this time; I just used her. And I didn't bother keeping her at the razor's edge of unconsciousness for a protracted amount of time before sending her over. This time, I just fucked her brains out.

Fifteen minutes after she showed up in my doorway, Gwen was a limp puddle of orgasmic goo. She was unconscious and lying on her right shoulder, the right arm extended straight out and the left arm flung behind her head. Her ass was flat on the bed with her legs spread to the sides and bent like a dead frog's. And her still spasming pussy was leaking creamy white semen, creating a wet spot that slowly crept outward as the sheets absorbed our mingled sexual fluids.

I, on the other hand, sat up at the edge of the mattress, my heels perched on the bed frame while I held my head in my hands.

A knock sounded at the door and I called, "Who is it?"

My best friend replied. "It's Dawn."

I sighed and hung my head down while replying, "Come in."

Dawn didn't care that I was still buck naked. I think my thigh blocked the view of my genitals anyways. But her sharp eyes did lock in on Gwen's lifeless body. She arched an eyebrow at me and stated, "You did it again."

I sighed and said, "Paige dumped me," as if that would explain everything.

"Ah." Dawn popped both eyebrows, nodding in understanding. Then she held up a silver Samsung cell phone. "Well, I just wanted to tell Gwen that her boyfriend called. But I guess he'll have to wait for her to wake up."

I grimaced and put my forehead in my palm again.

Dawn just turned to leave. "Dinner will be ready soon," she said, and then she pulled the door shut behind her.

I got myself dressed and located my books. Once again, a powerful ejaculation had cleared my brain enough to let me focus on my upcoming finals. Gwen stirred awake a minute later and I paused to help her get back into her clothing. Neither of us spoke about what we'd just done.

When we emerged, everyone in the living room turned to look at us. Afternoon finals were over and our regular guests had returned to the house. Dawn and Ryan sat together on one couch. Bert was at the other end of the same couch, with Robin sitting on the floor at his feet, hunched over the coffee table. And it wasn't just my crew, either. Dayna was sitting with Kevin Weiss on the opposite couch. Kerri Trainor, Monique St. Claire, and Matt Kanemura were sitting at the dining table. Tracy McMillan and Julie Carpenter were in the kitchen with Brandi.

"Sounded like fun." Kerri was the first one to speak, dropping her elbow onto the table, resting her chin in her palm while she smiled dreamily in my direction, her green eyes simmering.

"Oui, oui," Monique chimed in. "When's my turn?"

Gwen blushed beet red and looked ready to bolt. But Robin quickly got up and went to her friend. Together, the two of them fled into Dawn's bedroom.

I frowned, feeling bad for Gwen. And I glared at Kerri. "Nice," I grumped.

Dayna snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "Your fault."

I sighed and just waved my book. "Can I just study? Please? Or do I have to go back into my room?"

"Back to your room," Kerri remarked, nibbling on one end of her pen while grinning at me. "But can I come with you?"

Brandi came to the rescue. My sister popped through the kitchen doorway and said, "Tease him later, girls. Let's eat."

I did have a girl in my bedroom that evening, but not for sex. Not this time, at least. After dinner, Gwen and I went back into my bedroom, and fully clothed I sat down on the bed while she sat on the daybed. "Ben, this time we really need to talk."

I nodded. "I'm sorry about before. Well, I'm sorry about yesterday, too. I..." I sighed. "I'm not really sure where my head is at right now. You managed to catch me at two really bad times."

Gwen nodded. "Dawn told me about Adrienne and Paige. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "Doesn't excuse what I did."

Gwen exhaled slowly, bending her head down. She blinked rapidly before picking her head up and giving me an intense look. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it, though. I'd begun to wonder if I over-hyped that one time we fucked way back when. I spent all year thinking about those orgasms, Ben, imagining up situations where I could feel them again. I can't help it, you're ... you're a machine."

I raised my eyebrows.

"The way you just... TOOK me..." Gwen shivered visibly. "I tingle just thinking about it again."

I bit my lower lip nervously, not sure where this conversation was going. Gwen just leaned back with her hands planted on the mattress behind her. She'd turned her head away, the mass of waves and dirty-blonde tresses spilling over her shoulder. And her eyes were unfocused as she lost herself to memory. And a little smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

The absolute LAST thing I needed right now was another girl getting attached to me when I didn't have strong feelings for her. "Gwen..." I began slowly. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. What I did... to you ... was impulsive. I, uh, it..." I sighed. "It was just about sex. Nothing more."

Gwen turned her face back to me and smirked. She gave me a funny, but amused look. "Don't worry; I'm not falling in love with you or anything. You're a fantastic lover, Ben. But I don't have the slightest romantic intentions toward you."

I exhaled and smiled in relief. But Gwen turned and put her face in her palm. "Still, you've ruined me, Ben."

"What?"

She shook her head. "I can't go back to Rick, now. He just can't measure up. Not after you destroyed me two nights in a row."

"Gwen, I'm sorry. I-"

"Don't worry about it," Gwen waved. "I wanted it. I already knew I'd let you fuck me if you ever wanted to, Rick or not. You're off the hook."

"No, I'm not. You're in a relationship and I just-"

"I was breaking up with him anyways," Gwen interrupted me and shook her head. "I'm not good with long-term relationships and six months has been long enough. I don't love him. It was fun while it lasted, but we're in a rut and I'm not interested enough to fight for it. I was already thinking of new horizons, and what you and I did just clinched it." She shivered and looked right at me. "And I would fuck you again in a heartbeat. Or should I say, I'd let you fuck me."

I winced in worry. Even if Gwen wasn't falling in love with me, I wasn't looking for any sort of regular expectations, either. "Uh, well, those were two very unique situations. I, uh, I don't really know how I would feel about-"

"What?" she cut me off, smiling at me wryly. "I'm not fuckable unless you're all emotionally messed up?"

"It's not that. We got to being friends and-"

"ReLAX," Gwen held her hand up. "This is really why I thought we needed to talk. Look, I know that if you hadn't been seriously messed up from Adrienne, and then Paige, you never would have slept with me. It's cool."

I arched an eyebrow in surprise.

"We'll never be more than friends, Ben. And personally, I don't think we'll ever even be close friends. We just don't mesh like that."

I shrugged. Made sense.

"So I'm willing to accept things for what they were. You were distraught, you needed a fuck, and I was there. It's good enough for me." A sly smile crossed Gwen's face.

My eyebrow arched again.

"And if you ever need me again?" Gwen's smile turned into a predatory grin as she sat up straight and leaned forward, thrusting her cleavage forward. And her voice dropped to a seductive purr. "Don't tell me. Don't even say a word. Just... take me..."

My eyes popped open.

Her grin turned into a smirk. "But, uh, next time? Maybe not with twenty people outside in the living room. I'm a total slut for you, but exhibition's not really my thing."

And with that, Gwen got up off the daybed. She crossed over to me, leaning forward and taking hold of my head while I just stared in amazement into her light brown eyes, piercingly bright amidst the heavy eyeliner. She turned her head and planted a fierce kiss on me, delving her tongue around the inside of my mouth

But almost as fast as she started, Gwen pulled back and then almost tenderly kissed my cheek. "See ya around, stud." She smiled again, flashing a row of pearly white teeth. And then she left.

My life was getting crazier and crazier.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 21, 2003, FRESHMAN YEAR

I'd gone to sleep early last night. Dealing with thoughts of Adrienne, my morning final, and Paige dumping me had exhausted me. Gwen's reaction to my, ah, "taking" of her (twice) had been a momentary bright spot. But my pathetic attempts at studying for a Wednesday final wiped me out the rest of the way.

For the first time in a long time, I'd slept completely alone.

I didn't sleep very well.

There was no warm body to snuggle up to. No firm breast to cup in my palm. No tight ass to grind my erection into. And several times in the middle of the night I awoke to find myself dry humping the mattress while face down and drooling. It wasn't pretty.

I missed Adrienne. I missed her terribly. I loved her. I was IN love with her. And I wanted her back. I missed the smell of her hair as I spooned up behind her. I missed the warmth and feel of her body nestled in my arms. I missed the feeling of absolute contentment knowing that she loved me always and forever the way I loved her.

Only she didn't anymore...

So I slept fitfully, tossing and turning and waking and zonking out repeatedly every so often. I'd never set my alarm. I wouldn't have needed to. I woke up every half-hour as it was. And so I was a semi-conscious zombie when the door opened up and a blonde head poked inside.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Dayna beamed at me as she entered in and closed the door behind her. The blonde bombshell was clad in a long pajama shirt that dropped like a cliff off her prodigious bosoms and fell down to mid-thigh. She happily moved to my bed and slid herself beneath the covers, scooting alongside and then pushing me over while she moved herself into the warm spot. "How'd you sleep?"

I winced. "Not well." I still felt bone-tired, every muscle in my body tense and yet weak at the same time. And my head still hurt. Thoughts of Adrienne and Paige had been fluttering through my brain for the past few hours, preventing me from sleeping soundly. And yet I wasn't awake to really process the random thoughts, either.

"Aww, you look terrible." The beautiful babe frowned at me.

Thick-headed, I frowned at her and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Getting you ready for your final," Dayna giggled. She scooted right up next to my body, pressing her tits against me while her hand snaked down my side, over my hip, and began rubbing over the bulge in my shorts. "Brandi said you'd probably need a good flushing in order to focus."

"Huh?"

I'd already been hard with morning wood. Dayna rubbed me lightly from outside before sliding her hand into my shorts and wrapping her fingers around my shaft. She hummed playfully as she began stroking my length, and then turned her crystal blue eyes up to my gaze. "Clear the pipes; clear the mind," she intoned before giggling again. And then she physically rolled me onto my back, pulled the covers away, and yanked my shorts down to my knees.

"Just relax, Ben." Dayna flashed me a brilliant smile as she moved her face over my erection, her hot breath tickling my sensitive cockhead. "I'll want a good fucking before we're done. But for now, let me do all the work."

I opened my bedroom door and came to a dead stop in surprise. After the quickie with Dayna upon waking, my Wednesday had been fairly normal. I took my morning final. I met up with Dawn, Gwen, Robin, and Bert for lunch. And then I returned home to attempt studying without dwelling on the dual losses of Adrienne and Paige.

In that, I failed. It seemed that unless I was in the middle of a final that demanded all of my focus, or preoccupied by sexual pleasure with a beautiful girl, my thoughts constantly strayed to my romantic failures. I wondered how Adrienne was doing with her own finals and dealing with her own emotional demons after breaking up with me. Once again, I even briefly contemplated tracking her down before her Friday deadline to try and talk her into taking me back. I thought of Paige, and how she had deserved more from me. Maybe I couldn't fake those kinds of feelings for her, but I could have treated her better. And perhaps selfishly, I hoped that either Brandi or Dayna was waiting for me in my bedroom to once again clear my head with blissful orgasms.

I hoped; but I wasn't expecting. So it was still a surprise to find a hot girl in my bed. And I was even more surprised by who it was.

"Venez à moi, mon ami..." Monique purred, crooking a finger at me. The statuesque French babe reclined back against my pillows, clad in an eye-popping set of lingerie. Her curly bottle-blonde hair fell to her shoulders over a strapless red bustier that did much to lift and present her massive double-D tits for my viewing pleasure. Red garters and stockings covered her long legs, ending in fuck-me red heels. Humming, she slid two fingers into the matching lace panties, which were transparent enough to let me see the dark pubic hairs of her trimmed bush.

"Uh, Monique?" I arched an eyebrow in question while my eyeballs ogled her body. While the French babe had a completely different facial structure from Adrienne, her 5'10" height and stacked body were just similar enough to remind me of my lost lover. "What are you doing here?"

"Zhat should be obvious, no?" the older girl replied sweetly in her cute accent. She sat up and knelt on top of the mattress, hunching forward to push her cleavage out. "I have just finished a weary exam and I feel very stressed. You are very stressed. We can find ways to relax each other, I think."

"Monique..." I began slowly, thinking that there had to be some reason why we weren't supposed to do this. But all I could come up with was, "Does Brandi know you're here?"

The beautiful, busty babe nodded. "Your sister and Dayna lifted zee ban on you." I swore her accent was even thicker than usual. "You are now free game; I just got here before zee others."

My eyebrows shot up at the notion that my two older roommates had previously declared me off-limits, but had now given their friends permission to seduce me. "Really?"

Monique nodded. "Besides, I think you know that we are already lovers. I wasn't trying to hide my identity during Dayna's party last semester. And after you fucked me so well zhen, I knew you would be exzactly what I need right now. We're exzactly what we need right now. Nothing serious. Just some fun. Okay?"

I stepped to the bed, sighing with some relief. Fucking Monique wouldn't make my problems with Adrienne or Paige go away; but it would keep me from having to dwell on them for a little while. And it would keep me from going crazy and running away to find Adrienne. So I started removing my shirt while Monique crawled forward, her hands going to my jeans.

"How much time do we have?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

Monique grinned. "Until dinnertime. Zhen Tracy wants to spend the night."

I sat up at the edge of the mattress, my heels perched on the bed frame while I held my head in my hands. Monique's body had been a lush wonderland of pleasure, and she certainly knew how to use it. But just like the one and only time we'd previously fucked, she went dead limp beneath me, her head turning to the side and her eyes dropping closed.

So I'd pulled out of her and then covered her with the blanket, leaving the gorgeous French babe to sleep off her orgasm while I stared at the ceiling. Fucking her had been quite pleasantly diverting and my own ejaculation had done a satisfactory job of clearing my head. But after a while with no conscious girl to continue distracting me, thoughts of my broken relationships crept back into my head. And as the pressure built and built in my mind, I found that I just HAD to sit up and hold my head.

It was actually a relief when the knock sounded at the door. I called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Dawn."

Feeling an odd sense of déjà vu, I furrowed my eyebrows and said, "Come in."

Dawn still didn't care that I was still buck naked. But her sharp eyes went to Monique's lifeless body. My best friend arched an eyebrow at me and stated, "What's this with girls passing out on you?"

I shrugged. "Don't ask me."

Dawn arched her eyebrow and then turned to leave. "Dinner will be ready soon," she said. And just before she pulled the door shut behind her, she raised her eyebrows and said, "Just a warning: Paige is here."