The Text l

BEN

FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

I breathed shallowly while forcing myself not to panic. If Dawn was in trouble, she would have either said so in her text, or the text itself would have been much shorter. Still, she said to hurry so I was walking pretty fast. Dawn's apartment was only a couple of blocks away and it didn't take me long to get there.

I was about to knock when I realized the front door was cracked open just a bit. The sense of panic set in again. Something was off, and very cautiously I pushed open the door and went inside, trying to be as quiet as possible like in the movies.

The living room lights were on. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But a very obvious moan fluttered out from the direction of the bedroom. I knew the moan instantly. It was Dawn; and she was sexually aroused.

What the fuck was going on?

Walking slowly, I headed across the living room and over to the bedroom. And once I saw inside, I came to a dead stop in utter shock. Dawn was kneeling on the bed, face down on the mattress with her hands reaching back to spread her own asscheeks wide. I could see her pretty pussy and winking rosebud even from here. I started to gasp but Ryan saw me and held a finger to his lips, directing me to remain silent. I don't know why, but I obeyed and stifled myself. Clearly, he'd been expecting me.

With a smile at me, he told Dawn, "Ben's here, babe." And then he leaned forward and whispered something into her ear.

A moment later, she said softly, "Fuck my ass, Ben. Fill me up, baby."

"Louder, babe." Ryan directed. His fingers were coated with Astroglide and he trailed them over her dilating anus. His left hand took hold of a thin vibrator already lodged in Dawn's pussy, and pumped it slowly.

Good freaking lord Dawn looked hot. Her skin glowed and glistened with sweat. Her every breath was an arousing pant. And the pure majesty of her naked body would have gotten a dead man hard.

"Fuck my ass, Ben," Dawn repeated, a little louder. "Please, Ben. Please? I want it."

Only now did I realize that she was blindfolded and still holding herself open for me. This whole thing was set up to get me to fuck her, but was it a test? Was she serious? Was RYAN serious?

"Again, Dawn," Ryan encouraged. "Mean it. Tell him how long you've gone without getting sodomized. I don't think he's convinced to do it."

"Please, Ben. I've missed you so much," Dawn whimpered, clearly lost to her pleasure and craving the sexual contact. I knew the tone in her voice. Dawn wanted to CUM. She hadn't cum yet for some reason and she was waiting for me. Ryan waved me forward, and despite all my hesitations, I stared at her naked body and involuntarily began walking forward. My dick was throbbing in my jeans, straining to get out as I remembered her text saying: I NEED you.

"Please, Ben! I haven't felt a cock in my ass since the last summer when we were together. That's almost two years!"

I gritted my teeth, torn with indecision. I wanted to do this. DAWN wanted me to do this. But could I do it in front of Ryan? I looked at him, concern etched across my face.

"I don't think he's sure he can do this to you," Ryan intoned, staring right at me. "He's worried about upsetting me."

"Ryan's right here, Ben," Dawn pleaded. "He's approving and he's watching and I need your cock, Ben! We've done this before ... I NEED this. I NEED you. Please!"

Oh, freaking GAWD. I loved her. I'd always loved her. It could never just be casual sex between us, and I had no idea why Ryan and Dawn were setting this up, but I just couldn't resist. Dawn wanted to be fucked. I wanted to fuck her. We'd both wanted this since Robin's Swingers Party. We'd stopped ourselves from crossing this line back then, but with her naked and needy and HOLDING HER OWN FUCKING ASSCHEEKS OPEN FOR ME, I realized then that nothing was going to stop us tonight.

"More Dawn," Ryan growled. "Tell him what you want, the same way you told me how to please you just a few minutes ago. Tell him, Dawn! Tell him!"

"Please, Ben! Please! Fuck my ass! Grab my hips and grip them tight! Use your hand to fist your dick and press it against my little rosebud! Hold me and yank me back against you! I surrender to you! Don't you remember? Take me! I surrender to you! It's yours! I'M yours! Take my asshole and fill me up! Hammer my poor body and- UGH!"

I don't have any clue when I dropped my pants and freed my cock. I don't remember how I got from five feet away to standing right behind Dawn's perfect ass. All I really know is that at some point, I'd caved to my desire and slammed my cock into the greatest love of my life.

I wish I could remember more of what followed. It was Dawn's and my reunion fuck in a way, the first time our hips were joined together so intimately in almost two years, an eternity for the both of us. But I was too caught up in the moment to really form lasting memories. All I really have are snippets of pleasure.

I remember holding and squeezing Dawn's tits while grinding my cock at full depth inside her bowels.

I remember reaching around to pump the vibrator in and out of Dawn's cunt, flipping it to the highest setting along the way.

And I remember wrapping my left arm around Dawn's waist, holding her in position for me to pump my way through her stretched backdoor while she screamed at the top of her lungs, "I'M CUMMING!"

It was all automatic. My brain was turned off and I simply fucked her on instinct. But somehow, Dawn and I moved so well together that our orgasms were perfectly timed. I filled her rectum with spunk just seconds after she started her detonation, spurring her into an aftershock orgasm as well.

And in the end, I collapsed right on top of her, kissing and rubbing and caressing while I told her how I felt from the bottom of my heart. "I love you, my Dawn. I've loved you always and I'll love you forever." I took a deep breath, and then told her what I truly wanted to say. "I'm yours. I'll always be yours. Please take me back."

Dawn tensed up for a moment, and then spun around, dislodging my prick from her asshole as she ripped the blindfold off her face and looked at me in utter and complete shock. "Ben!" she exclaimed.

I blinked. Who else did she think was buttfucking her? "Uh, yeah..."

"Ohmigod!" Her eyes lit up and she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly to her and pressing her nose deep into the crook of my neck. "What are you doing here?"

I blinked rapidly again. Was she serious? "Uh, you texted me to come over," I stammered.

Dawn frowned and said, "I didn't text ... Ryan!" Her eyes went wide and she darted her head around the room. Ryan was gone. He was nowhere in sight. Without another word, she slipped off the bed and hurried naked to the doorway, looking around the apartment living room and finding it empty as well. Then she darted to the bathroom and the spare bedroom. And finally she went over to the front door, just as I was following her out from the bedroom.

There was a note on the front door and Dawn raced over, snatched it in her hand, and brought it back over to me. I looked over her shoulder and silently read:

Dawn —

I wish I didn't have to be this drastic, but I just HAVE to know. I love you, but I can never truly be comfortable until I know how you really feel about Ben. I want to believe that you'd be happy with me forever, but I just see too much between the two of you. So I'm going home to Hayward tonight. I'm going to spend the night with my family and talk to my mom about us. And I'm expecting that you'll stay in the apartment with Ben tonight. I realize that you two might talk each other into staying away from each other out of concern for me, but I assure you that what I really want is for you two to spend the night together. To help illustrate that point, I rigged the front door to be locked from both sides, so you can't get out. You're also on the second floor, so I wouldn't recommend going out a window. Of course, I know Ben's pretty handy so he could probably undo the lock before I get back, but I'm hoping he won't. Spend the night together. Talk things out. Because if we really have a future together, you'll have to get over Ben, first.

—Ryan

P.S. I'll be back at 10am.

Dawn finished right around the same time I did. And at the exact same time, we turned to look at each other and remarked, "Now what?"

Both of us needed to come to grips with what had just happened. But I didn't want to leave and thankfully, Dawn didn't ask me to. By agreement, we took separate showers to get cleaned up. And when I emerged from the bathroom, Dawn had already changed into a comfortable pair of pajamas.

We found Dawn's cell phone on the coffee table and then settled onto the couch together, a couple of feet between us. I sat straight, leaning against the backrest with my feet on the coffee table. Dawn sat sideways so that she could face me, her left leg tucked beneath her. Neither of us spoke for the first couple of minutes.

"You didn't know I was coming, did you?" I finally asked softly.

Dawn closed her eyes and shook her head.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I asked, "So why were you pleading, using MY name, to fuck you?"

Dawn bit her lip and wrung her hands together. "It was a fantasy Ryan cooked up. He had me reliving the first time HE had sex with me, when the two of you double-teamed me at his parents' house."

I grimaced and nodded. "Is fantasizing about me something the two of you do a lot?"

Dawn snorted and rolled her eyes, staring away. "No."

I felt guilty, as if I'd taken Dawn against her will. The fact was, she didn't know I'd actually be fucking her. She'd probably thought it was Ryan. And no matter what the situation or confusion or whatever, I still knew that my dick had entered her body — her asshole even — without her express permission for me to do so. "Dawn, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you didn't know it was me. I feel like I... raped you or something."

She frowned and looked right at me. "What? No! You didn't rape me!"

I blinked. "You're not upset that I just buttfucked you without you even knowing it was me?"

"Absolutely not. Whether I realized it was you or not, I WANTED it to happen. You didn't rape me. If I had known you were really there, I would have been pleading just as hard. I wanted you. I've always wanted you." Her face softened and she reached out to me, taking my hand in hers. "I know this isn't what we'd talked about, but I've wanted to feel this with you for a long time."

"What?"

"Us. You and me. Nothing between us anymore." Dawn leaned forward, the loose neck of her pajama top hanging down to give me a glimpse of her cleavage as she crawled onto the couch and moved toward me.

"Dawn," I sighed. "There are a lot of things between us."

"Not right now. Not this moment," she insisted, now on all fours on top of the seat cushions with her face just inches away from mine. "Look at me, Ben. Look at me."

I looked at her. She still had the most beautiful face I'd ever seen, the face of an angel. Her crystal clear blue eyes sparkled as she stared at me. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. And she whispered, "Nothing between us. Nothing separating us. Just you ... and me..." And then she kissed me.

My brain erupted in a volcanic explosion. I'd almost forgotten what Dawn's kiss could do to me. Every neuron in my brain felt like it fired off at the same time. And a bolt of lightning crackled up and down my spine.

But once the initial shock wore off, my conscience reared its ugly head again and I pulled away, "Dawn-Dawn-Dawn..." I patted her arms to keep her at bay. "What about Ryan?"

"This isn't about Ryan. Ryan's gone for the night. This is just you and me."

"But, but..." I stammered before Dawn cut me off by bringing a finger to my lips.

"Dammit, Ben! Stop thinking so damn much!" Dawn growled. "Ryan locked us in here until tomorrow morning. Ryan set you up to fuck me in the ass! Ryan sent me up to camp two years ago knowing you and I were going to fuck each other's brains out! He can handle one night! And this isn't about Ryan!"

I let my eyes soften and open up as big as they could get, my own version of my little sisters' puppy-dog eyes. And staring straight at Dawn, I said softly, "No, it's about us. I meant what I said before: I love you. I want to love you forever. I want you back, and I NEED to know if you want me, too."

I missed her. I missed Dawn. Everything in my life had made sense and just felt so ... perfect ... when we were together; when we were in love. I wanted that feeling back. And if it meant I had to give up Adrienne and Paige and all the Tri- Delts, then I would do it in a heartbeat.

But a relationship takes two. Dawn blinked and stared back at me, a riot of emotions behind her eyes: love and longing for me, fear of change, raw lust, and anxiousness for the future. These were all things I sensed through our connection, but I had no clue as to what decisions she was making.

She didn't decide right now. Brushing her thumb along my cheek, she leaned in and kissed me tenderly. Then she pulled back and stared deeply into my eyes. And she said, "Let me just enjoy tonight, okay? Then ask me again in the morning."

It was a bittersweet night for me. It was sweet because it was Dawn. We made love like we'd never been apart, sensing each other's moods and desires before we even had a chance to voice them. The passion was intense. The pleasure unimaginable. And it was both nostalgic and erotic to hear Dawn murmur "That's two" when she felt my cum splashing into her pussy, and then "That's three" after swallowing my last load of the night.

But it was also bitter because I didn't know what was going to happen in the morning. For one night, Dawn was throwing her cares and caution to the wind and pulling me along with her. We were two hot, horny youngsters who existed in our own little world for a couple of hours. It was like we were sixteen again, alone in our special clearing with the rest of reality left far, far behind.

But come morning, I didn't know whether Dawn would return my desire to get back together. And not knowing tinged everything we did together with a bleakness that made me wonder if we'd ever be this intimate again.

Was this night just the first in rediscovering the greatest love of our lives?

Or was this night just one final fling before Dawn followed through on her commitment to Ryan and left me in her past?

I was glad that Dawn didn't want to keep fucking until we'd thoroughly exhausted ourselves. If we had, I might have believed she was getting as much as she could get before the clock chimed and Cinderella's carriage turned back into a pumpkin.

As it was, we made love until we were both happy and then fell asleep cuddled in each other's arms. I drifted away into dreamland hoping that meant she knew we had all the time in the world to resume. I thought that meant she was going to break up with Ryan and get back together with me in the morning.

I thought wrong.

SATURDAY, APRIL 17, 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"I need to think about this."

It was nearing 10am, and fully dressed, Dawn and I were sitting on the sofa. In another few minutes, Ryan would return and our fantasy night would be over. I had hoped we would be reunited, and together tell Ryan that Dawn was breaking up with him. But clearly I underestimated the strength of their relationship.

"What's there to think about?" I complained. "I love you. You love me. We belong together, Dawn."

"Says who? Our parents?"

"US," I said emphatically. "You and me. Can you really tell me you've ever felt as in tune with Ryan as you did with me last night? Can you really tell me he's ever made you feel like I did last night?"

"That's sex," Dawn shook her head. "Sex was never our problem. And you have an unfair advantage in that department over every guy I've ever known."

I canted my head and implored her to understand. "It's more than sex and you know it. You told me that satisfaction for a girl was more about the connection than about orgasms. Last night was really something special."

She sighed. "Last night doesn't erase the reasons why I chose Ryan in the first place. He's stable. He takes care of me. I'm not sure I'm ready to throw all that away."

"Not even for me? C'mon, Dawn. Don't you feel it? We need to be around each other like we need air to breathe. Our bodies scream to be with each other, as if our pheromones are specially-designed. The mere thought of you moving away again was enough to put me into a deep depression two weeks ago, and having you this close to me again is driving me CRAZY. C'mon. I thought this was supposed to be our chance to be together again? No longer 500 miles apart. No longer apart, period. You and me ... Ben and Dawn ... forever."

"It was a dream."

"Not a dream; it's our future. Look, I know we got things really complicated with Adrienne and Ryan. And I know I was messed up after breaking up with Adrienne. But this is what we always wanted, wasn't it? I know it took me a while to come back to you, but I'm coming back to you now. Isn't that what YOU always wanted?"

"Ben..."

"You promised me you'd wait for me. That last night at camp, you surrendered to me. You told me you were already mine."

She sighed and put her head down. "I was young. And I was in love."

"And now?"

"Now? I'm just not sure anymore."

A noise at the door interrupted me from saying anything further. It was Ryan, working at undoing whatever he'd done to jerry-rig the lock.

It was over. The carriage was really turning back into a pumpkin. I sighed and looked back at Dawn, who simply stared at me apologetically. "I just need some time, okay?"

What choice did I have? I let out a long exhalation. And then I nodded my understanding.

Being girls, Adrienne and Paige started pestering me for details the instant I walked through the door. And even though I was usually a very open and sharing kind of guy with the girls close to me, today I was just a plain "guy", not really giving anything away. I explained that yes, Dawn and I spent the night together. No, we weren't back together. And I didn't give them any more details beyond that.

I didn't tell them about Ryan setting us up or locking us in the apartment. And I didn't explain what was going to happen in the future. How could I when I didn't have a clue?

Adrienne took the hint that I wasn't ready to talk just yet. Paige was a little bit more annoying, but eventually she left me alone. I simply took a shower and changed into fresh clothes. And then not wanting to deal with more questions, I left the house to go for a walk.

There are really only two things you can do when killing time by walking: either cruise around the campus, admiring the architecture and greenscapes; or go window shopping down Telegraph or College or some other trinket shopping areas.

I'm not sure why I decided to go window shopping. Maybe it was because I didn't feel like being around the campus, seeing the other students and potentially the happy couples walking around the greenery on a Saturday. The campus would certainly be the prettier place to kill some time and lose oneself in thought.

But I ended up on Telegraph, moving in and out of random shops. I would pick up a couple of books in a bookstore, flip through the pages without really reading them, and then put the book back. I would scan through some clothing at a boutique, idly wondering if a particular shirt was more something Adrienne might pick out for me or something Dawn would appreciate better. I didn't have any real purpose. I was just stalling for time, trying to keep myself marginally occupied until Dawn figured out what she wanted to do. Or maybe I was hoping some brilliant flash of insight would hit me and tell me what to do.

But nothing concrete came to mind, at least nothing serious. One idea was to challenge Ryan to a fight to the death with the winner getting to keep Dawn. Another idea was simply to show up and demand that she choose him or me, threatening to walk away from her forever.

Or maybe I just had to give her the time she needed. I knew Dawn and I knew she wasn't one to be easily swayed by others. When she made up her own mind, she made up her own mind. Now that she knew I wanted her back and was ready to be with her again, I could only hope that she would choose me on her own.

But was I already too late? They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I hadn't realized how much I took for granted that Dawn would wait for me forever. And now that I didn't have that certainty anymore, I desperately wished I could have come to this realization long ago. And it was depressing to think that I may have missed out on the greatest love of my life.

I happened to be in a hippie store when that particular depressing thought struck me. I closed my eyes and tried to will away the negative thoughts; but the harder I tried, the more they stuck with me. When I opened my eyes again, I looked around at all the drug paraphernalia on the walls, and the idea of dulling my brain with some illegal narcotics sounded really, really good to me.

"Prince Charming? Never thought I'd see you in a place like this."

The voice was familiar. I stood up straight and turned around to see Carter Sheridan grinning at me while holding an expensive-looking, elaborate hookah. "Carter?"

"Wow, man. You look like shit," he smiled while reaching a hand out to shake. "Girl problems?"

I shook his hand and shrugged. "Something like that."

"Sleeping Beauty giving you a hard time?"

I chuckled at Carter's continued use of our Halloween character names. Thinking back to that party so long ago, I shook my head and replied, "Cinderella, actually."

He gave me a quizzical look. "Sleeping Beauty know about you and Cinderella?"

I laughed and waved him off. "Yes, yes. It's ... well, it's complicated."

"I'll bet. You know it's funny I've run into you. Elyse was asking me about you guys the other day."

"Really?"

Carter nodded and shot me a disappointed look. "You never showed when we invited you to my party last November."

I winced. "Sorry, man. Uh, had another girl-conflict."

"Cinderella?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

I blushed and looked down, thinking of DJ. "Ah, Cinderella's little sister, actually."

Carter whistled. "Man, you do get around, don't you?"

I shrugged. "It's-"

"Complicated," he finished for me. "I'm getting the impression there isn't very much that's simple in your life."

I held up my hands. "What can I say?"

Carter chuckled and shook his head. "Well, if your life isn't so complicated that you're busy tonight, why don't you come up to my place? We're having a little get together and someone with as ... complicated ... a life as yours would fit right in."

There was something else in the way Carter said that I would 'fit right in', and I arched an eyebrow. My curiosity piqued, I thought about it and answered, "Sounds interesting. When and where?"

Carter put the hookah down and whipped out a Blackberry. "What's your number?"

I gave it to him and a second later, I got a text message with the address and time. I nodded a confirmation.

"You gonna flake on me this time?" he asked with a grin.

I shook my head. "Naw, man."

He nodded. "And bring Sleeping Beauty. I'm sure Elyse would love to catch up with her. Or Cinderella ... or her little sister ... or whoever..." Carter couldn't help but start laughing as he kept going. But then with a serious look, he stood up and clapped my shoulder. "Or just come alone." His eyebrows made clear that this might be the best option for me. "Believe me, I'm sure you'll find plenty to keep you entertained. Why bring sand to the beach, right?"

With a head nod, Carter picked up his hookah and walked past me to pay for it, then headed out the front door. I just stayed back, looking around, wondering what crazy turns my life would take next.

As it turned out, my best option for a wingman to Carter's party was Bert Kim. My first choice would have been Adrienne, but she had already planned to go schmooze at some modeling shindig in San Francisco. And pregnant Paige had no interest in going out socially. But Bert was single and still looking to stretch his wings socially; and he happened to be available tonight.

Bert drove up from his home and picked me up for the short drive into the hills southeast of the campus. It was a longer drive up Claremont than I'd expected, winding our way around smaller streets until coming to the address. The place was hard to miss, a relatively isolated mansion with a dozen cars already parked in the driveway and along the curbs nearby. Bert parallel parked and then we got out, looking down the mountain at the city lights of Berkeley spread out below.

Somewhere out there was Dawn's apartment. I wondered what she was doing right now. I wondered what she was thinking. She hadn't called me all day, and the longer I didn't hear from her, the more I started to believe she was permanently choosing Ryan over me. And I wasn't quite sure how to take that.

Dawn was the reason I was up here. Yeah, Carter invited me and it seemed likely that Elyse would be here. But neither of them were my friends and I certainly had no idea who else would be around. Like the aimless window- shopping, I only hoped to distract myself long enough to ride out whatever was to come. Whether Dawn wanted to get back together with me or not didn't really matter. I just wanted to survive this limbo before the decision. Once she made her choice, I could then move forward and deal with the consequences.

"You ready for this?" I arched an eyebrow at Bert across the car when we got out.

"Locked and loaded." He grinned.

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

Bert flashed me another smile and circled around the car, strutting with all the confidence of a preening rooster.

I chuckled to myself and shook my head. Ever since the night of the Swingers Party, Bert had been a changed man. It may have been a one-time thing between friends, but apparently nailing girls as hot as Dawn and Gwen and still surviving did wonders for a guy's self-confidence.

Then I remembered that I'd nailed them both too, and taking a deep breath, I let my own self-confidence shine through as I followed after Bert and headed for the house.

The front door was open when we arrived and stepped inside. The house was quite large, maybe not as big as Mizuho's dad's mansion on the Newport Coast, but it was still pretty damn big. People were out in the backyard, where an infinity pool built on a massive redwood platform looked like it dropped right off the cliff to the city below.

It was a very low-key party. Nobody was dancing, nor was there any dance music. Down tempo beats throbbed in the background while people clustered together in conversational groups. To my surprise and pleasure, there was a very high female-to-male ratio around, about 3-to-1. It was something I was familiar with after all the time spent at my own house stocked with Dayna's and Brandi's hot friends. But even with that history, I was amazed at the sheer beauty of many of these girls. Carter certainly had a lot of hot friends, many of whom would have looked right at home at some glitzy, celebrity-tabloid bash hosted by Paris Hilton. Still, I realized that I didn't recognize anyone, and neither did Bert. And feeling just a little bit out of place, we started cruising around looking for a familiar face.

Fortunately, Carter found me. "Prince Charming! You made it!" He appeared out of nowhere and clapped me on my back. Standing about three inches taller than me, the guy was dressed as if he was heading out to a nightclub, wearing slacks, a tailored shirt, expensive "bling", and a Rolex watch. His dark hair was messy and he carried himself with the comfortable ease of someone who knew exactly what was going on in his life.

Without missing a beat he turned to my companion and offered a hand. "Carter Sheridan. Welcome to my house."

"Bert Kim," Bert shook his hand. "Nice digs."

Carter waved him off. "This is nothing. You should see my parents' place."

Bert shrugged and we both looked at Carter. Almost smugly, our host scanned around us, his eyes lighting up as he looked over at the beautiful young women wearing flattering cocktail dresses around us. Bert and I automatically found ourselves doing the same. And along the way, I realized that they were a bit older than the girls I usually hung out with, although I did identify some that seemed college-aged.

A moment later, Carter leaned in conspiratorially and dropped his voice. "Let me introduce you. But first thing, I usually don't hang out with anyone younger than me. Some of these people are old friends and I don't want to ruin my rep. So if anybody asks, you guys are Seniors, like me. Capisce?"

Bert shrugged. I frowned.

Carter took one look at me. "Come on. Little white lie never hurt anyone."

"Sure." I shrugged. "No big deal."

Carter clapped my shoulder and then turned us toward a group of six girls. "Let's go."

All conversation dropped as Carter approached with us in tow. The girls in question smiled and fawned over him as if he were a rock star. A bold one even reached out and pulled him into her lap, causing him to chuckle and her to giggle flirtatiously. It was at that point that I noticed the six girls were sitting on contemporary-style chairs and chaises around a table on which an elaborate hookah was placed. And a second later I realized that I recognized the hookah. "Is that... ?" I began, pointing.

"Yep. Same one I picked up this morning," Carter replied while nodding to me. "Gentlemen, allow me to introduce Zoë, Beth, Jillian, Tasha, Nikki, and Madison. Ladies, I'd like you to meet Prince Charming. He's a special friend of mine."

"Prince Charming?" Jillian, a very sexy girl with dark eyes and dyed-platinum blonde hair asked seductively.

"Well, you can call him 'Ben'," Carter shrugged. "And the handsome devil in the red shirt is Bert."

"Bert and Ben," Nikki, a pretty redhead mused. She giggled as if our names were the funniest thing she'd heard in a long time.

"Well I like 'Prince Charming' better," the platinum-blonde replied and grinned at me salaciously, leaning forward subtly to thrust her big bosoms over her low-cut top.

"You be careful around Jillian," Carter warned as he reached over and patted the blonde's knee. "She'll eat you alive." He grinned. "But then again, I think that's exactly why I brought you here. You dig blondes, right?"

I smiled and gave myself plenty of eye contact with Jillian. But I diplomatically replied, "I dig all kinds."

"So does Carter," blonde Tasha giggled and patted Carter's leg while he sat in her lap. "Of course, the brunettes have most of the fun." She reached out and slapped Madison's leg.

As if on cue, Madison grabbed the business end of the hookah and proffered it over to Carter. "Want a hit?"

"Sure thing." Carter leaned forward and sucked on the pipe. From the way he closed his eyes and savored the sensations, I got the impression he was using some really good herbs ... or it wasn't tobacco in there.

He head nodded to me next. "Charming?"

In my current mood, I figured 'What the heck?' Besides, I didn't want to let down my host. So I took a hit and soon my lungs were filled with the half-remembered taste of marijuana. I hadn't smoked pot since that Spring Break at Candy's La Jolla house three years ago, but the familiar flavor came back to me all the same.

I passed off the hookah to Bert, who looked at it nervously before steeling himself and moving forward purposefully. Jillian, the hot blonde scooted to the side of her armless chair, patting the empty space in invitation to me.

Still figuring, 'What the heck?', I took the spot and immediately felt the pleasant presence of a beautiful girl moving her body against mine. And as the mind- altering drugs went to work in my bloodstream, I decided to kick back and just let the world float away.

"Mmm..."

"Nnnghhh..."

Youuuuu ... are my Angelll...

Massive Attack's "Angel" thudded quietly, but inexorably, in the background, seeming to grab hold of my heartbeat and make it pulse along with its measured — but purposeful — bass beats.

I was high. I wasn't exactly sure how much time had passed; it felt like days although it couldn't have been nearly that long. I was sure that an extremely attractive hot blonde with big tits was rubbing herself against me, nuzzling herself against the crook of my neck and fondling my crotch.

The tits were fake. I knew that from the feel of them beneath my hands. Actually, a lot of things about Jillian were fake. Her platinum hair was a dye-job. Her eyelashes were too long to be real. The nose I wasn't sure about, but her lips definitely had the consistency of Botox. But you know what? I didn't care. Maybe it was because I was high. Maybe not. Guys just like beauty, and sometimes we really don't give a shit how that beauty is obtained.

Her fingers were real enough, and they traced lightly over the scar on my left cheek. "I'll bet this has a story," she purred.

Feeling good, I just shrugged and explained, "Bullet."

"Bullet?" Jillian pulled her head back sharply. "You got shot?"

"Mmm-hmm," I hummed, languorously letting my head loll back. "Defending the woman I loved."

"No shit!"

I shook my head, momentarily thinking of Adrienne. "No shit."

Jillian quivered as if she'd had an orgasm right then and there. "Oh, I have GOT to fuck you tonight."

"Wha-?" I picked my head up, not expecting that kind of statement to come so blatantly from the busty platinum blonde.

Jillian just giggled, shaking her body flirtily and bending over to show me her tits while standing up. "I'll be right back," she purred into my ear and then turned around.

"Where do you keep going?" I pouted playfully as I stared at her perfectly formed ass. I was already fantasizing about fucking the skinny bitch up her anal chute.

She giggled and then wiggled her butt at me, barely covered by her mini-dress. "Just freshening up." And then she sashayed away, walking like a runway model.

I grinned and then sat back, thinking about fucking her ass again. It seemed likely both from her comments and behavior. Plus, I didn't know exactly what Jillian was doing to freshen up, but every time she came back she was wired with more energy, and a lot more physically aggressive with me. And it wasn't from the pot, as she wasn't smoking from the hookah at all. I got the distinct impression that whatever she was on, it was a lot stronger than marijuana.

I realized then that I needed to pee. I glanced at Bert, just checking to make sure he was okay. My good friend currently had redheaded Nikki straddling his lap with her tongue buried in his throat while Ukrainian-blonde Tasha was nibbling his ear. Yeah, Bert was doing just fine.

Then I got up and headed around, looking for the bathroom.

In a pot-induced stupor, I got a little lost before finally finding an open door with a gleaming porcelain toilet on the other side. I did my thing and then carefully wiped myself up. I might be using my penis later and wanted to be clean out of courtesy. And then I promptly got a little lost on the way back. I found myself in a hallway, looking left and right and not sure which way to go when Carter himself turned the corner and smiled at me. "You okay, Prince Charming?"

I shrugged and grinned, perhaps a little too widely. "I'm perrrfect, man," I slurred. The euphoria of my high was dying down to leave nothing but the mellowness. Time for another hit.

Carter clapped me on the arm and looked like he was going to say something, but I beat him to it by arching an eyebrow and asking, "Hey, where's Elyse? I feel bad stopping by this party and not saying 'hi'."

Carter looked at me seriously for a second before folding his arms across his chest and asking, "Just how well do you know Elyse?"

I shrugged. "Went to school together."

"I know that. What I meant was: Did you know her? Or did you know her?"

I chuckled and thought back to the Spring Break in La Jolla. With a sly smile, I grinned. "Well, I guess you could say I knew her. We partied together a bit."

Carter chuckled right along with me and nodded. Then he clapped my back and turned me around. "Come on. I'll show her to you."

We walked down the hallway and to a set of stairs, leading down to a lower level. But even though we'd gone down one floor, we still had a view over the city as this end of the house dropped over the side of the hill. And with another turn, Carter winked at me and led me into a darkened room. But even though the room's lights were off, a gigantic window was cut into a side wall, giving us a perfect view into the adjoining bedroom that was well-lit. And my jaw dropped as I looked through the window and realized who was on the other side.

Elyse Laughton, ex-Cheerleading Captain and ex-hottest babe of my old High School, was buck naked on a King-sized bed save for a studded leather collar around her neck. Her eyes were unnaturally twitchy, making me think she was on some sort of drug. In this house, I wouldn't be surprised. Her natural D-cups were still buoyant and firm, sagging to the sides while she lay back across the bed. The hard pink nipples were prominent, making MY mouth water as I looked at them. She seemed skinnier than she used to be, her flat abs obvious but so were some of her ribs. Her bare-shaven pussy was glistening with moisture. Her creamy white skin already was covered by a fine sheen of sweat. And she was panting and licking her lips in obvious sexual arousal.

I was silent as I stared at her naked body, Big Ben screaming to climb out of my shorts. I wondered what was going on, but Carter was just staring intently as well, obviously waiting for something. So I kept quiet and waited, too.

A minute later, the door to the hallway opened and three well-built guys walked in, all looking to be in their late 20s. Carter was sitting at a desk before the big window. As the three guys started disrobing, his breath started speeding up and a little grin spread across his face.

But Elyse wasn't smiling. She whimpered and then turned to look at us through the window. Well, she didn't quite stare straight at us; I got the impression the window was mirrored on the other side. But she complained, "Carter, three? You said I'd only have to do two!"

He reached forward and hit a button, speaking into a microphone on the table in front of him that I didn't realize was there. "You want another bump for the rest of your life? It's gonna be three tonight, sugar."

Then Carter grinned and turned back to me. With the microphone off, he added, "I could make it four, if you're up to it."

I blinked in surprise for a second as the implications of what Carter was offering me sank in. He wanted me to go in and join the other three guys in gangbanging his girlfriend. But the instant the idea of sex entered into my head, I realized that I didn't want to.

I was still waiting on Dawn.

Yeah, I'd come to this party. Yeah, a ridiculously hot babe in Jillian had been making obvious moves on me all night. And yeah, I was freaking horny, but now that I stopped and thought about it, all I really wanted was Dawn.

Besides, Elyse didn't want three guys right now. And the last thing I wanted to do was be with a girl who didn't want me. I didn't know what the deal was between Elyse and Carter, but I figured I'd better not get myself mixed up in the middle of it. "Pass," I said slowly as I took a seat alongside him.

"What?" Carter frowned. "Thought you said you already knew her. What's the big deal?"

I shook my head, puffing out my chest and putting on a false bravado. "I don't do sloppy seconds. Not my kind of ratio. Now put me in a room with three or four girls, and I'll make every single one of 'em pass out from pleasure overload."

"Tough talk," Carter smirked and whistled. Raising his eyebrows, he said, "I just might make you prove it."

I chuckled and waved my hand, looking forward. Carter turned forward as well. The gangbang was already under way.

One guy was between Elyse's legs, munching furiously and causing her hips to buck and twitch and shudder. At the other end, the two guys were kneeling next to her head, dicks out while she held one in each hand, stroking rapidly.

One of the guys moved forward, prodding his prick at her lips. Elyse turned her head away in disgust, muttering something. In my mind's eye, I heard her voice from years ago telling me, "I NEVER suck cock."

As if in response, Carter leaned forward and stabbed the microphone button. "Do it, Elyse."

"Carter..." she whined.

"DO IT, sugar," he ordered.

Whimpering, she opened her mouth and accepted the prick inside. With obvious distaste she started sucking the first guy. She kept stroking the second guy. The third guy between her legs kept eating. And after a few more minutes, Elyse started moaning around the meat filling her mouth.

Disgusted or not, Elyse was clearly aroused and quite horny. She couldn't keep her body still, as her legs wiggled haphazardly and her torso undulated in little rolls as she tried to hump the third guy's face. Smacking her lips, she switched from one dick to the next, inhaling it and moaning like a whore as she passionately began sucking the second guy. And as if she couldn't control herself, her body started going into spasms as she ramped up to a climax and then blew, locking her legs around the third guy's neck and screaming in exquisite agony.

I found that my breathing was shallow as I stared through the one-way mirror, unable to look away. That twitchy look in Elyse's eyes haunted me as she stared vacantly in our direction, panting as she came down from her orgasm while the three guys pulled away and started repositioning her body. The one who had been eating her out rolled over onto his back and pulled her with him, so that she was limply lying on top of his chest. He fisted his hard erection and grabbed onto her hips, adjusting her crotch until her cunt was centered over his cockhead; and then he yanked her down, impaling her on his prick.

Elyse groaned and picked her head up, panting softly and already beginning to moan like a bitch in heat. Her eyes sharpened and she stared down at the guy she was fucking, a laser focus on his face. But her urgent humping motions were stilled as the other guys grabbed her and stopped her. One of them spread her buttcheeks while the other produced a bottle of lube, squirting a glob into her ass and then pushing two fingers inside to start coating her innards. Elyse moaned and put her head down, turning it to the side to stare at the mirror. From the way she grimaced and quivered, it looked like she might be orgasming again from the sensations. And once again, I found that strange look in her eyes to be quite distracting.

"What's she on?" I asked quietly.

Carter was breathing heavily and I realized he had a hand in his slacks, jerking himself off. Without missing a beat, he glanced at me and said, "Crystal Meth. I only get the best shit. Girls turn into total nymphomaniacs on the stuff. Long as you keep 'em hydrated, they can fuck all fucking night. It's truly a thing of beauty."

My eyes went wide. I'd done some pot, but never considered doing anything quite so hardcore. I'd never even been around someone on such a powerful narcotic, but Carter tossed it off as if this were an everyday occurrence for him.

Meanwhile, the first guy lubed himself up and eased himself into Elyse's ass. The guy in her cunt held her hips still, and the room was filled with the sounds of her moans. But a minute later, the last guy shoved his dick back into her mouth, completing the triple penetration and cutting off Elyse's moan.

"Beautiful..." Carter breathed.

My chest suddenly felt constrained. I didn't know whether to feel ridiculously turned on beyond belief or scared out of my wits. I'd gotten into some crazy sex games with Dayna's blindfolds and Robin's swingers game, but this was NUTS. Crystal Meth? Organized gang-bangs?

"Ungh! Ungh!" The guy fucking Elyse's face held her head in place while he took great big thrusts, clearly ramming himself down her throat.

"HRRRRRRK!!!" Elyse was grunting around a mouthful of prick as she climaxed again. "HRK! HRK! HRK!" Her body was being jostled and jerked in every direction by a cock pumping up her ass, another one thrusting into her cunt, and a third pushing her head around.

"TAKE IT, BITCH! TAKE IT!" The ass-fucker was screaming, holding her cheeks apart and pounding her without mercy.

"Oh, FUCK!" The pussy-fucker grunted, his face screwing up and turning bright pink as he tried to hold back. But it was to no avail as he suddenly gasped and gritted his teeth, his abs obviously clenching as he pumped his load into Elyse's snatch.

The others didn't miss a beat. No sooner had the pussy-fucker gone slack than the ass-fucker grabbed Elyse and rolled himself over onto his back, keeping Elyse's body against his crotch so that he was fucking her from below. She planted her feet on top of the mattress, using the leverage to hump her own asshole up and down the column of man-flesh lodged up her rectum. The guy who'd been fucking her face circled around the bed and knelt between her legs, spreading them to the sides before shoving himself into her sloppy pussy. And after a couple of minutes to catch his breath, the third one who'd already spent his load into Elyse's cunt got up and stood over her head, yanking on her hair to force her to clean him off with her mouth and then start sucking him back to hardness.

Carter was groaning and jerking himself a little harder. Panting softly, he reached out to a different button and pressed it before speaking into the microphone. "Cameron, you there?"

A speaker from the wall blared to life. "Yes, Carter," came the smokily seductive voice.

"Get in here. Hurry." Still panting, he then looked over at me, as if only now remembering I was there. Pressing the button again, he added, "Is Jillian still there?"

"No," came the reply from the speaker. "She already went back upstairs."

"Send someone to bring her back down," Carter grunted. And with a gleam in his eye, he smiled and added, "Get Rebecca wired and send her down, too." And then everything went silent as he turned to look through the mirror once again.

The triple-penetration continued. Ass-fucker was clearly in charge, grunting orders to the other two while he continued reaming out Elyse's ass. He thrust for a while, then paused to catch his breath and perhaps conserve his energy, just holding onto Elyse's hips and keeping her pinned with his cock at full depth through her colon. The second guy continued humping away at her pussy, holding her legs just beneath the knees, keeping her spread beneath him while he slobbered all over her big tits, biting and sucking purely for his own enjoyment. And the third guy was hard again, jerking on Elyse's hair to force her to keep sucking on his cock while he threw his head back and grunted happily.

Just then, the door to the hallway opened and a strikingly gorgeous brunette walked in. Fully six feet tall, even taller in high heels, she was a vision of beauty with angular emerald-green eyes and strong cheekbones. Her body was sleek, built for speed. Her tits were proportional, full without being large. Her hips were likewise curved without being wide. Standing in a black cocktail dress that was cut short enough to show off her long, loooong legs, she looked like a supermodel stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine and into real life. She even had the vacant look down pat. Her face was a mask of stillness, like a robot, though she walked with fluid grace of a dancer. And for a brief second, her eyes fell on me, simultaneously sending a chill and a thrill down my spine.

Just as quickly, I was ignored. The surpassingly beautiful woman didn't even glance at the one-way mirror, her attention entirely on Carter as she approached and touched his shoulder.

He turned and breathed, "Cameron..." with a warm smile. And then he grunted with obvious need.

Wordlessly, she moved around and sank to her knees. Carter rolled his chair back from the desk, his eyes still locked through the mirror at the sex act in front of him. And with a glimmer of arousal in her sparkling green eyes, Cameron leaned down, opened up Carter's slacks, and promptly inhaled his big dick to the root.

It didn't take long. The three guys were approaching their final stages before orgasm, and so was Carter. The guy fucking Elyse's cunt stiffened and groaned as he began splashing her innards with their second blasts of spunk. The guy fucking her face pulled out and began hosing down her eyes, nose, and cheeks. And the guy fucking her ass from below bellowed as he loosed a volley of cum up her rectum. And through it all, Elyse herself was shrieking a monster orgasm of her own.

"CAMERON!" Carter started yelling beside me as he threw his head back. White- knuckled, he gripped the armrests as if his life depended on it. His hips jerked off the seat, plunging his cock deeper into the gorgeous brunette's throat.

For her part, Cameron merely bobbed her head with his abrupt thrust, taking it easily. And then I watched her throat muscles contracting rapidly as she swallowed every drop of his spending.

The room went silent.

Both rooms.

In the bedroom, Elyse rolled over and flopped flat on her face, her raven-black hair covering her entire head as she splayed out with haphazard limbs, leaking jizz from her abused holes. For a second, I thought she might not be breathing, but after another few moments she turned her head to the side and gasped quite obviously. The three guys slumped back wherever they happened to be, similarly winded.

In this room, the "Voyeur Room" as I'd come to think of it, Carter went silent, his eyes closed as he simmered in the blissful relief of his own orgasm. Sitting back on her heels, Cameron quietly licked her lips and braced her hands on Carter's knees before pushing herself back up to a standing position, waiting at attention for his next command while looking completely relaxed at the same time.

In fact, everyone around me was completely relaxed. But I wasn't. I was terribly aroused by all the sex acts in front of me, my dick straining in my shorts with urgent need. Pending new relationship or not with Dawn, my body was SCREAMING at me to find someone to fuck and find it NOW. And with how incredibly gorgeous Cameron was, standing there just a couple of feet away from me, I thought that only my respect for Carter as my host would prevent me from bending her over and screwing her brains out.

But something else stopped me cold. A chime sounded off in my pocket, the ring tone immediately familiar.

It was Dawn.

In the span of a second, the world around me ceased to be.

I stood in a void of pure white, a vast emptiness in which nothing existed but me and the phone I held in my hands. I didn't see the room around me. I didn't see the house. I didn't see the people nearby.

Just me.

And my phone.

It was another text message, not a phone call. I was almost too scared to open it. Why was Dawn sending me a text? Why wasn't she calling me herself? The hairs on the back of my neck stood up in trepidation. A text couldn't be a good sign. If she had good news for me, she would have called. To send a text meant that she was afraid of confrontation, afraid to hear the pain in my voice, right?

My lower lip quivered and my thumb was shaky as I pressed the "Read" button. And then I deflated instantly as all air evacuated out of my body.

We are not getting back together. I'm in love with Ryan.

DAWN

SATURDAY, APRIL 17, 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

"I need to think about this, Ben."

It was nearing 10am, and fully dressed, Ben and I were sitting on the sofa. Last night had been a fantasy, an escape to an earlier time when the world was just Ben and me and we could dream about "eternity". We were just kids, then. There was also a time when we wanted to be Astronauts. But now we were grownups. And in another few minutes, Ryan would return and our fantasy night would be over.

"What's there to think about?" Ben complained. "I love you. You love me. We belong together, Dawn."

It was the same thing I'd told myself a thousand times. But whose words were those? "Says who?" I asked. "Our parents?"

"US," Ben said emphatically. "You and me. Can you really tell me you've ever felt as in tune with Ryan as you did with me last night? Can you really tell me he's ever made you feel like I did last night?"

"That's sex, Ben." I shook my head. "Sex was never our problem. And you have an unfair advantage in that department over every guy I've ever known."

Ben stared at me pleadingly, imploringly. "It's more than sex and you know it. You told me that satisfaction for a girl was more about the connection than about orgasms. Last night was really something special."

I sighed and bit my lip. "Last night doesn't erase the reasons why I chose Ryan in the first place. He's stable. He takes care of me. I'm not sure I'm ready to throw all that away."

"Not even for me? C'mon, Dawn. Don't you feel it? We need to be around each other like we need air to breathe. Our bodies scream to be with each other, as if our pheromones are specially-designed. The mere thought of you moving away again was enough to put me into a deep depression two weeks ago, and having you this close to me again is driving me CRAZY. C'mon. I thought this was supposed to be our chance to be together again? No longer 500 miles apart. No longer apart, period. You and me ... Ben and Dawn ... forever."

"It was a dream."

"Not a dream; it's our future. Look, I know we got things really complicated with Adrienne and Ryan. And I know I was messed up after breaking up with Adrienne. But this is what we always wanted, wasn't it? I know it took me a while to come back to you, but I'm coming back to you now. Isn't that what YOU always wanted?"

"Ben..."

"You promised me you'd wait for me. That last night at camp, you surrendered to me. You told me you were already mine."

I sighed and hung my head. "I was young. And I was in love."

"And now?"

"Now? I'm just not sure anymore." Except that I was sure. I HAD to do this. I had to stay with Ryan. It was a decision I'd come to over the past two years, and no single night of bliss with Ben should sway that decision. This was it. This was the end of me and Ben.

But then why wasn't I telling him that now? Why was I stalling?

I didn't want to hurt Ben now. We'd just spent a wonderful night together, full of bliss and comfort and happiness in each other's arms. It had been wonderful, like riding the Grizzly at Great America the way we used to do when we were younger and that rickety coaster was the ultimate thrill.

But now the ride was over and our heads were still spinning after the high- velocity drops and lifts. Better to wait a minute to settle ourselves, get our feet under us. THEN I'd tell him.

A noise at the door saved me from having to say anything further right now. It was Ryan, working at undoing whatever he'd done to jerry-rig the lock.

Ben sighed as if his world was coming to an end and looked over at me. I just looked back at him sadly and said, "I just need some time, okay?"

"Do you believe it, yet?" I asked while hugging myself against my boyfriend's chest. We were cuddled in bed together after a pleasant round of lovemaking. I felt it was something we both needed to do right away to reinforce my decision to commit to the only boyfriend I'd ever really known.

Mark had just been "dating" and "experimenting". We went to the movies and to fast food on Friday nights and had make-out/petting sessions on the couch. But there had never been anything serious between us, and I'd never loved him. And of course I remembered how HE turned out.

Ben had been my childhood best friend. We experimented far further than I had with Mark. We also experimented with love, learning as teenagers what love could mean. Through it all was the bond of trust between us, the comfort factor. But the simple fact was that we were only actually "together" at camp. We were never boyfriend/girlfriend out in the real world, spending real, quality time together.

Ryan was that boyfriend. He was the one by my side at all times, and the man I moved in with to live together like we were a married couple. He was the familiar and the reliable. And I was choosing him.

"I still can't believe it," Ryan answered me, rubbing my back. "But I'm trying really hard."

I giggled and then rolled over, crushing my breasts into his chest and reaching my hand down between his legs. "Well then. Let me see if I can do a better job convincing you."