Chapter 21: Elyse l

ELYSE

-- JULY 2003 --

It wasn't raining. Aren't funerals supposed to be held under gray clouds and damp air? Every time I thought about a funeral, I imagined people huddled under black umbrellas wearing black clothing while forlornly watching the casket being lowered into the ground. And always it was raining.

Not today. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the sun beat down upon us. It was over a hundred degrees, and instead of looking forlorn, the attending guests merely looked uncomfortable in their suits and long dresses. I was sure they didn't really want to be here. Why would they? It wasn't like they were close friends. Most were work colleagues who didn't want to be the only one from the office who didn't show up. A couple were neighbors, which was weird because we'd never been close to our neighbors.

As the minister droned on, I caught several people glancing around as if wondering how long they'd have to politely stand there and listen before they could escape to their cars and their air conditioning. Guess that's what they get for living in Orange County.

Who the hell picked this guy anyway? He was boring and stuffy and didn't know jack shit about Daddy. I hadn't made the funeral arrangements, Randi did. Fucking ironic, huh? Two-bit gold-digging whore traps Daddy into marrying her by holding his incestuous relationship with me over his head, and SHE wants to make God a part of this ceremony? Fuck, none of us were religious, and all this bullshit about being in the hands of God only made me mad. If there was a God, he certainly wouldn't be smiling over my father. Not that daughter-fucking bastard who popped all my cherries and got me hooked on crystal meth so he could keep fucking me.

But that was over now. Daddy would never fuck me again. At least the last time we were together ended pretty well. Sure, Daddy probably got more out of it than I did; he always concentrated on his own pleasure more than mine. But it had been pretty enjoyable for me too as Daddy-fucks go, and he'd promised me a new Mercedes G500 just like the one Brad Pitt drives. Only he hadn't lived long enough to actually buy it for me, and now I'd never get it.

That was the other bullshit part of this agreement. Don't ask me how she did it, but my greedy bitch of a stepmother conned Daddy into rewriting his Will. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he left everything to HER.

Not me. Not his flesh and blood daughter. Not the little girl he'd deflowered in every way and warped with his twisted predations until I was a fucked-up excuse for a human being.

Her. The gold-digging whore. She got everything.

Well, there were some mutual funds, a 401K, and a life insurance policy already in my name that wouldn't be taken away. And Daddy had left me a pittance of a trust fund that would only pay for my college education and nothing beyond that. Really, Randi got control of everything else. Bank accounts? Hers. Stocks and mutual funds? Hers. The house? Hers. And she'd already told me she was kicking me out the minute the funeral was over. That evil, manipulative whore of a stepmother had never liked me, and had only used me as leverage to get Daddy to buy HER whatever SHE wanted. The day I'd left for college, she'd talked Daddy into remodeling my bedroom into HER office, and I'd been stuck living out of the guest room every time I visited. Bitch made ME a stranger in my own house. And now she'd taken my inheritance.

But at least I'd now be free of her. Yeah, she had taken EVERYTHING away from me, but good fucking riddance.

And now I was alone.

Don't get me wrong, there was a lot about my relationship with Daddy that wasn't all roses and happiness. Other than sex, we were never close, and he hadn't been a significant part of my daily life since I was a tween. I'd grown up fast, learning how to make all my own decisions and get through life without his guidance or advice. The only time we ever spent together anymore was time for him to fuck me, and while some part of me would miss that little bit of contact, a girl that looked like me could get laid anytime she wanted.

But now I was alone.

The trust fund would pay for school, room, and board for the next two years. I wouldn't be financially well-off the way I'd been for most of my life, but I'd get by until I could get a job and move forward. At least in the future I wouldn't have to share anything with my evil stepmother (now EX-stepmother). Daddy's lack of parental influence meant that I wouldn't miss anything emotionally going forward. I'd go back to college and simply move on. Really, I'd been alone for a long time already.

But now I was REALLY alone.

No Daddy. No stepmother. Not even distant relatives.

No inheritance. No financial support. Not even the house that I grew up in.

Now I was alone.

It really didn't take that long for the guests to leave. Only half of them had come back to the house after the funeral, and like I said, none of them really wanted to be there, not even Randi. The sun hadn't even set before she came by, told me that I'd better be gone in the morning, and left with some other guy's arm around her waist and his hand on her ass.

Good luck with THAT, bub. Hope you don't end up like my dad.

Good fucking riddance.

Now that everyone was gone, I went straight to my room (the guest room) and stripped out of the somber black dress. It went straight into the trash; no fucking way I'd ever wear THAT again. Feeling morose, I slipped into some baggy sweatpants and an old T-shirt before returning downstairs and opening up Daddy's liquor cabinet. It felt like a good time for Scotch, and I picked out a bottle of 18-year-old Glenmorangie. Most of my belongings were already packed and ready to move into storage. I hadn't taken the liquor, not while Randi had still been in the house. But you can bet I'd box it up and bring it with me come tomorrow morning.

I lost track of how many times I re-filled my tumbler, or how many minutes ticked by on the grandfather clock in the living room, but the sun had set and I was feeling no pain when the doorbell rang. Not feeling like having visitors at a time like this, I ignored it the first time. But whoever was at the door wouldn't go away because the doorbell rang again along with a firm knock and a call of "Elyse? You okay in there?"

The voice was masculine and familiar, but I didn't place it immediately. Still, whoever he was, he obviously cared enough to check in on me. And in my current state of melancholy and solitude, to know that somebody still cared about me was a relief. So I got up and went to the door, peered through the peephole, and jerked back in surprise to see a blast from my past on the front porch.

Opening the door, I asked in pleasant surprise, "Joey? Joey Sumarkis?"

Blushing bashfully, the handsome young man shrugged and smiled back at me. "I just go by 'Joe' now, actually."

"Aww, you'll always be my Joey..." I drawled, belated realizing just how drunk I really was at this point. His eyes briefly flashed down to my chest, and I remembered that I had neglected to wear a bra underneath this T-shirt. I glanced down as well and noticed that my nipples had hardened for some reason, so I blushed and turned into the room, walking somewhat unsteadily as I looked around for a robe or something else to cover myself with.

He followed me inside and closed the door behind him, beginning, "I heard about your dad. I'm sorry. I would've come by earlier, but I wasn't invited to the funeral and didn't want to intrude."

Wordlessly I waved him off, my head twisting left and right still looking around for a robe. But I must have turned a little too fast because the room started spinning, and suddenly I saw the floor rushing up to meet my face. But before it hit me, strong arms caught me around my waist and hauled me back upright.

"Whoa! You okay there?" Joey asked with obvious concern on his face.

I giggled drunkenly and burped in his face before gesturing at the bottle of Glenmorangie and the glass tumbler beside it on the coffee table. "I think I had one too many..."

"I'll say," he said while helping me stagger over to the couch and sit down beside him.

The instant my butt hit the cushion, I felt my equilibrium return and everything snapped back into focus. I was still buzzing off the alcohol and the adrenaline rush of falling and being caught by my high school boyfriend. I had a lot of fond memories of the time we'd shared, and a lot of gratitude in this very moment both for catching me and for simply being here at a time like this. So without a moment's hesitation, I lifted my legs across his lap while wrapping my arms behind his neck. And pulling his face toward mine, I parted my lips and sealed them over his mouth.

Joey kissed me back for a half-second before pulling away and holding a hand up between us. "Elyse, Elyse! You're drunk."

"Yesh I am," I slurred before batting my eyelashes and giving him a seductive smile. "But my dad just died and I'm feeling really lonely. I'm glad you came. I'm really glad you came, okay? Please?"

He grimaced. "I don't want to take advantage of you."

Relaxing my arms, I moved my hands to grip his head behind both of his ears. And staring straight into his face, I calmly ordered, "Joey ... shut up."

And I kissed him again.

I woke up feeling cotton-mouthed the next morning, face down and naked on the guest room bed. The blankets covered me up to my lower back, and when the room swam into focus, I realized that there was a tray on the nightstand with a Starbucks cup and a take-out bag from Mimi's Café. Joey was nowhere to be seen, but he obviously hadn't left me to completely fend for myself. I wondered if he was still in the house or if he'd gone and perhaps left a parting note with breakfast. No matter: I'd managed on my own just fine for years already.

Sitting up in bed, I took the coffee and found it still quite warm. After taking several sips, I sighed and let my head sag back against the headboard, impacting the hardwood with a muffled thump.

Moments later, Joey appeared in the doorway. I was still naked and his eyes went wide as they dropped to my exposed tits, lingering there for an extra half-beat before he managed to bring his gaze back up to my face.

I smirked and shook my head. "Don't be so bashful. Nothing you haven't seen before, especially last night."

He grinned and went back to ogling me. "You're gorgeous, Elyse. Always were, always will be."

"You're such a charmer." I took another sip of my coffee and gestured to the bag. "Thanks for breakfast."

"Least I could do." He came in and sat on the edge of the mattress beside me, reaching over and stroking my leg. "How are you feeling?"

"Hung-over, but not bad. I'm used to it."

"Used to feeling hung-over?"

"It's been a rough couple of years."

"I'm sorry." He looked like he truly was. "Want to talk about it?"

"Gawd no," I scoffed and drank more of my coffee. "What I want is to get baked and make this headache go away."

"Get baked?" he asked in surprise.

Setting the coffee down, I opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with something Joey would be quite familiar with. Smirking, I arched an eyebrow and said, "C'mon. My dad just died, it's summer vacation, and I'm really not in the mood for a lecture."

His hands went up defensively right away. "No lecture. Not here to moralize over you. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'll be more okay once I get a good buzz going, but it's more fun to smoke a fatty with company. Join me? Please?"

Joey took a deep breath, shrugged, and replied, "Sure, I guess."

"Thanks, Joey. For being here at a time like this."

He smiled warmly. "For you, Elyse, always."

-- AUGUST 2003 --

"Mmm..." I moaned, pressing Joey's face deeper against my crotch. His thick tongue slithered deeper inside my canal, filling me with wet warmth that quickly retracted before wrapping around my sensitive clit. "You're so good at that. Why the hell did we ever break up?"

Joey's mumbled response was lost between my thighs, but it was a rhetorical question anyway. He may have tried to pick his head up to say something, but the moment I felt his pressure slackening, I put my hand on the back of his head and shoved him back down. He took the hint and furiously ate me to a climax. And when I came down from that little high, I grabbed his shoulders and urgently yanked on them until he crawled up my body and slid his throbbing hard cock into my cunt.

"Fuck yeah..." I groaned, feeling my insides stretch to accommodate him. I let my head loll to the side while flopping my arms back behind me. And I crooned as he began to thrust, sending sparkles of pleasure sensations along my limbs and spine.

With my eyes closed as I savored the feeling, I clenched my pussy muscles to give him extra sensation as he pistoned in and out of me since I wasn't actively meeting his thrusts with my hips. It was nice, but I felt like taking another hit. So rather lazily, I let my left hand drift over to the nightstand where my still-smoking joint sat in an ashtray.

Unfortunately, we'd rotated around a bit in our fucking, and I was currently positioned so that the joint was just out of reach. I stretched and rolled a bit, unable to quite get to it. And after a moment, I put a hand to Joey's chest to stop his thrusts while I sat up and twisted around to grab the joint, all with his cock still in me.

"Jeez, seriously?" Joey sighed. "Can we just get through one fuck without you having to stop and get another hit?"

I shot him an evil glare, and Joey immediately looked apologetic. My eyebrows furrowed and my eyes hard, I quite deliberately took a long drag on the joint and exhaled the smoke right into Joey's face. He coughed and turned his face. "You want to get off in me? Or get off me?"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his eyes still averted. For emphasis, he pushed forward with his hips, keeping his dick firmly imbedded inside me.

But my mood was broken, and I roughly shoved at his chest with one hand while twisting my hips away. He sighed as he backed up, his still-erect dick popping free of my vagina. I turned and swung my legs off the bed in the other direction, taking another drag and feeling the weed fill my lungs.

"I'm sorry, Elyse," he said again, sliding across the bed and rubbing my spine. "You know I understand what you're going through and how hard this has all been. I'm here for you. I was just mid-thrust and getting close to cumming when you stopped me. It was the orgasm talking, alright? I didn't mean anything by it."

"You weren't near orgasm yesterday when you suggested that I should cut back a bit."

"It was just a suggestion. It's not my place to judge you and I'm not saying you're an addict or anything. But it's been weeks since your dad died and you go back to school in two days. Seems like you've been smoking non-stop this entire time, and I just want to make sure you'll be alright once you go back to Berkeley and I can't keep an eye on you."

"Who says I need anybody to keep an eye on me? I've been doing just fine on my own for a lot longer than a few weeks."

"I know, I know." His eyes briefly darted around his bedroom.

I frowned. "I didn't HAVE to move in with you. I could've just gone back to my apartment in Berkeley!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"I can manage just FINE on my OWN!"

"Elyse, calm down. Seriously." His erection had finally flagged and he was rubbing my arm. "I'm not a narc trying to bust you and I'm no drug-purist claiming I'm holier than thou. I just care about you, alright? Always have."

I looked away. It was no secret that Joey Sumarkis was in love with me. Hell, he'd probably been in love with me since high school. But still, he had this annoying habit of saying the WRONG thing at the WRONG time. Why couldn't he just have been happy to go back to thrusting once I got my hit? Then HE would have been happy and -I- would have been happy and everybody would have been happy! FUCK!

"Look, I'm sorry I got caught up in my ejaculation. You mean so much more to me than just sex, and I'm really not trying to piss you off."

"Forget it."

"I'm sorry."

"I said forget it." I slipped off the bed and started hunting around for my panties.

"C'mon. Let me make you dinner, huh? Or we can go out. Find a nice restaurant, get a couple of glasses of wine, or maybe head out to the beach and watch the waves crashing. You always liked that."

I shook my head. "Not the restaurant. Can't toke up there. The beach maybe."

Joey grimaced at the mention of toking up again.

I saw it and immediately snarled, "Hey fuck you."

"I didn't say anything!" His hands went up defensively.

"But you were thinking it, weren't you?" I shook my head and hopped into my panties. "I should go."

"Elyse, no. Don't do this."

"Maybe it's for the best if I just leave for good now," I sighed, shaking my head as I tugged my jeans on as well. "I'm going to have to leave you sooner or later. School starts in a few days anyway. Really, I might as well drive up to Berkeley right now."

His face fell. "Elyse ... no..."

"What? You thought I was going to give up my next two years of college to stay here with you? You'd comfort me while I mourned the loss of my father and that I'd fall in love with you and get married?" I fastened my bra and started pulling on my shirt. "Get real, Joey. You've been a soft landing and a willing schmuck to take care of me, but that's it. It's been nice catching up with you. You were always a great fuck, but that's it. My family's gone, and there's nothing holding me to my hometown anymore. I'd have been gone in two days anyway, and I was never coming back. Really ... I might as well leave now."

"But Elyse ... please..."

I shook my head while finishing with my sweater, and finally I stood up and grabbed my purse. "Goodbye, Joey."

-- SEPTEMBER 2003 --

"C'mon, Elyse. You gotta get out of the apartment SOME time."

I sighed and looked over at Celeste, my roommate. Her hand was still on the doorknob and she was leaning into my room while keeping her feet behind the doorway. The position made her halter top sag downward and gave me an unobstructed view of her cleavage.

Celeste grinned impishly once she realized where I was looking and said, "You aren't going to stick your face into these again until AFTER you've come out with me. Seriously. It's a Friday night! Come OUT with me, flirt with some guys, get them to buy us drinks, and have some FUN! I get that your dad died, but that was months ago and the only way you're going to move on with your life is by walking out the front door and moving ON with your life."

I sighed and reclined back against my desk chair. "I just don't know if I'm ready yet."

"Ready for what? To have a drink?" Celeste stood up straight and mimed holding a glass in her hand before tipping it back and sipping ... and then chugging. "Piece of cake. It's not like you haven't been drinking yourself into a stupor every other day right here. All you have to do is move your butt and have your drink in a bar. Where it's FREE. Come ON. You've been cooped up in this apartment ever since you got back and I want the old Elyse back. Quit being such a downer!"

Part of me wished Celeste would be a little more considerate about my mourning period. Sure, Daddy hadn't had much impact on my life these last couple of years since I came to Berkeley, but he was still my father. He'd been my first lover, my first everything, and now he was just ... gone. Maybe I'd been in shock when it had happened, but two days after the funeral I figured I'd move on just fine. And yet I'd been stuck in this limbo for the last two months. He'd meant more to me than I'd realized, and it's going to sound cliché as hell, but his passing made me realize just how precious life really is. I'd been coasting for the last couple of years, young and gorgeous, and I'd enjoyed the perks available to those who are young and gorgeous.

So had Celeste. She was blonde, busty, and beautiful, and she was used to really enjoying her life. It was why we'd gotten along so well when we met two years ago, and it was why she was my roommate now. I suppose I couldn't blame her for not being very considerate. After all, Celeste was just being ... Celeste.

"Seriously, E." My roommate now stomped into my room, went over to my closet, and started rifling through my clothes. She finally settled on a dark violet number with a scandalously short hemline and tossed it at me, hanger and all. "Put on the dress, I'll touch up your makeup myself, and we'll park you at the end of the bar. If all you want to do is sit there and drink and watch us pick up guys, you're welcome to do so. But MAYBE you'll feel like joining in, and then MAYBE we can start to get old Elyse back, hmm?"

Clutching the dress to my chest, I took a deep breath and sighed. I did like this particular dress, and Celeste damn well knew it. But then again, I'd already worn it like four times. "Okay fine, I'll put the dress on and go out with you and the girls. But tomorrow, you and I are going to go shopping for some new outfits."

Celeste clapped her hands and jumped gleefully. "That's my girl!"

"I gotta get some air," I yelled as loud as I could with Celeste's ear only inches away. As deafening as the music was, I think she heard me because she nodded. And then I turned and wormed my way through the crowd for the exit.

When Celeste had invited me out, I figured we would use our fake I.D.'s to get into a bar and chill out for a while, letting businessmen pick up on us and buy us drinks for a couple of hours. It promised to be low-key and relaxing, but instead, Mandi took us to this nightclub downtown and the girls had collectively convinced me to dance with them while we got picked off one-by-one by horny, aggressive young studs.

I'd gotten hit on more times than I really wanted, and nightclub guys were so much more high pressure than bar patrons. But it was harder to be down and morose amidst the energy of a club playing trance and hip-hop than in a low-key bar, and I had to admit that I'd started to have a good time.

But it was getting stuffy and I did want some air. Of course, there was no such thing as "fresh" air on a nightclub patio, as it was the only place people could go to smoke. Still, I could handle the cigarette smoke in exchange for a little cold air to clear my head, and within a minute I was starting to feel fresher.

And then I caught the scent. Somebody out here wasn't smoking a cigarette, and like a moth to a flame I felt myself drawn in a single direction. It didn't take very long to find the source of that scent, and I quickly spotted two guys sharing a joint in the far corner.

"Hey, can I get a hit?" I asked without preamble, my eyes zeroed in on the joint.

The guy holding it, a tall, dark, handsome type with a scruffy six-o'clock shadow, eyed me up and down in the dark violet dress. He smiled at my obvious cleavage and long legs, and immediately held out what was left of his roach.

I seized it and puffed, savoring the flavor. I didn't recognize the strain right away but it was familiar nonetheless, probably AK-47. I felt a mellow lightness fill me, and as I passed the bud back I smiled gratefully. "Thanks, man..." I drawled.

"What's your name?" Tall, dark, and scruffy (henceforth known as TDS) asked as he accepted it.

I smiled and casually replied with my usual club name, "Karen."

TDS grinned. "What's your real name?"

I smirked and replied, "Let me have some more and you just might find out."

My eyeballs felt like they were spinning in opposite directions as I stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling. I floated on a cloud of silk sheets, dreamily enveloped in a haze of bliss. My right hand held a fresh stick to my lips, I breathed in pure "chill" ... and then I inhaled sharply while feeling the void between my legs slowly fill with thick meat.

"Fuck yeah..." TDS groaned as he hit bottom, his short and curlies pressed up against my shaved snatch. "So fucking gooood, Ashley."

"Glad you like it," I murmured while exhaling my latest drag as I soaked up the pleasure of cock. There's really nothing better than getting laid while getting high, and it was an unfortunate reality that I couldn't fuck myself. Every now and again I thought about getting myself a boyfriend – as gorgeous as I was it would be quite easy to do – but I knew boyfriends and even fuck-buddies could be a real hassle with their clinginess and neediness and sense of entitled ownership. No mere man was gonna tell me I had to be faithful, for one thing, and I happened to like sampling different cocks.

Some might label me a slut for my behavior, but if I'd been a man nobody would question my desire for variety. Manipulating some handsome new stranger always gave me a thrill, as long as I remained in charge. Every fuck was on MY terms, and hell, TDS actually believed my real name was "Ashley".

A second cock pushed against my lips, but I batted it aside and shot an angry look at TDS's buddy. "I don't do blowjobs," I growled haughtily. "Go back to sucking on my tits or wait in line."

The buddy looked at TDS, who shot him a look to not piss me off. The buddy got down and started nursing at my tits again, although his shoulder moved in such a way that made it clear that he was jerking off next to the bed as well.

"Just don't waste your wad," I warned him. "You blow it early and I'll be very disappointed."

Like I said, I happened to like sampling different cocks. And there's really nothing better than getting laid while getting high.

-- OCTOBER 2003 --

It was after 2am when I slipped my key into the lock and went inside the apartment. To my surprise, the table lamp was on in the living room and the TV was showing re-runs of some cable reality show trash. I hadn't been trying to be quiet, so when the door shut, Celeste jerked awake on the couch.

Rubbing her eyes, she glanced at the clock on the cable box before shooting me a look. "Jeez, E. Where have you been all night?"

"Out," I replied with a shrug, heading for my room while reaching back for the zipper on my dress.

"Out where?" Celeste asked angrily. "You've GOT to stop disappearing on us. It worries the shit out of me!"

"I was fine. I can take care of myself."

"I know, I know, but still. This is what, the fifth time? Can't you at least text me your address or something so I know where to start looking for the body if you don't show up in the morning? I had to give up this totally hot lawyer who really seemed to know what he was doing when I realized you weren't around. C'mon ... You're supposed to be my wingman!"

"I'm fine," I reiterated, now in my bedroom as I stripped my clothes off. Celeste had followed me and she leaned against the doorjamb with her arms folded over her chest. I had pulled my panties down just to mid-thigh. There was still cum in my pussy, and I grabbed a tissue off the nightstand to blot it up before fully removing my panties.

"Who was he this time?" she asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Did he get you high?"

I leveled her with a look.

"Just please tell me he didn't give you anything stronger than that."

"What?"

"You KNOW what I'm talking about. You swore to me up and down you'd stay away from Meth. Just please tell me he only gave you weed."

"Weed, just weed, alright? I told you: I can handle it."

Celeste shook her head, watching me wince as I sat down. She recognized the look immediately and sighed. "He fucked your ass tonight?"

I grunted and unbuckled my shoe straps before kicking off my heels. I shrugged noncommittally. "It was nice. He managed to stay hard enough to go three rounds."

"You could have shared," she shot back. "Instead, I had to come home by myself all worried about you."

I sighed and looked over at my roommate. She really did deserve better than worrying about me. Clad now in only my bra, I got back up and walked over to her. Sliding my hands up and down her arms, I leaned in and gently pecked her lips. "I'm sorry, alright? He had a great-smelling blunt and I just lost my head. I should have come and grabbed you or something, alright?"

"You gotta stop doing this to me! From the first time Mandi brought us to that club a month ago you KEEP disappearing, and it's not like you're disappearing to go to class. I never know where you're going or WHO you're going with, although I can hazard a pretty good idea. There's more to life than this, E. You've got to wake up and show up for school and MOVE ON."

"I know, I know..." Giving her my best doe eyes, I leaned in and kissed Celeste again, this time lingering a little longer.

"You're not getting out of it that easy," she scowled, but couldn't help smiling a moment later.

"Yes I am," I replied.

"No you're not." She tried hard to stay mad at me.

"Yes I am, because I'm feeling quite satisfied from sex and weed but you're pent-up and unfulfilled because you had to turn down your lawyer for me. I feel bad about that, so I'm going to make it up to you. We're going to take a shower together to clean off all this man-grime and then we're going to go back to your bedroom so I can park myself between your thighs and give back all those orgasms you missed tonight."

"You have to fuck me, too. I missed out on having cock."

"I'll use Pounder. Unless you want me wearing the strap-on. Maybe both?"

Celeste looked excited for about two seconds, but the light in her eyes faded as she sighed. "Fine. But don't think this lets you off the hook completely. You've GOT to stop disappearing on me, alright?"

I smiled. "I know."

"It's not like we don't have plenty of weed right here!"

"I know..."

"And if you need to get laid, we can do it together. So I can keep an eye on you."

"I know..."

Celeste sighed, wrapping her arms around my shoulders before pecking my lips. "Why do you have to be so fucking gorgeous that I can't stay mad at you?"

I chuckled. "It's a curse."

"DON'T leave me again, alright? You make me worry too much. Promise me you won't leave me."

"I promise."

-- OCTOBER 25, 2003 --

"Ohhh ... shiiiiitttt..."

High as a kite, it took me a while to realize I was drooling. Picking my cheek up from the puddle forming on the bedsheets, I turned my head in the other direction and shifted over a couple of inches before laying my chest back down.

The guy rodding me from behind didn't mind. He had a firm grip on my ass while he pumped in and out of me. He also didn't mind me reaching over to the nightstand to grab the joint still smoking in an ashtray as I lifted myself up on my elbows to bring it to my lips. I took a drag, savored the flavor, and then hung my head down and closed my eyes to focus on the depth and power of his thrusts. "That's it. Fuck me," I grunted. "Harder. Harder!"

I'd never gotten the guy's name. I rarely did. What was a name so long as he had good grass and a dick thick enough to make me feel good while I was getting high? This guy I simply called "Cowboy", since that was his Halloween costume, even though Halloween itself wouldn't be until Friday. He still had the hat on anyways, along with a habit of slapping my butt and crowing "Giddy-yap!" while fucking me from behind.

He wanted to cum on my face, but I coldly told him I don't do that. He settled for pulling out and painting my buttcheeks with his cream, and then he was out of commission. One of my weaker fucks, really. But his Master Kush was good, I did get a small orgasm, and I'd gotten my fix for tonight. After wiping my butt with the bedsheets, I pulled my panties up along with the blue bottoms to my Wonder Woman costume. And then I went to the bathroom to fix my makeup before returning to the party.

Only then did I remember Celeste. Shit. I'd told her just last week that I'd stop disappearing on her, but after too many cocktails and the lure of Master Kush plus strange dick, I'd forgotten until right this very moment.

"Shit," I muttered. "She's gonna kill me."

I immediately started roaming the house in search of her. Mandi had gotten us invited to the party of some rich guy up in the hills, and he truly had a nice pad. But it was also really big, with plenty of places for people to disappear to. I went through the entire main floor in a few minutes with no sight of her, although I did run into a couple of friends, neither of whom had seen Celeste in a while. Finally, I found Mandi, who told me she'd seen Celeste chatting with some guy about twenty minutes prior. "I think he said his name was Jasper," she stated, although she was a little fuzzy on that detail.

"Did you just say 'Jasper'?" Another guy walking by stopped and frowned at us.

I sized up the newcomer: handsome, dark-haired, and dressed in doctor's scrubs with a white lab coat and stethoscope. Frowning, I asked, "Do you know him?"

His jaw set angrily and he began scanning the room. Jerking out his cell phone, he held down a speed dial and waited a moment before barking, "Did Jasper show up here and somebody didn't tell me?!?"

Mandi and I exchanged a look and watched as 'The Doctor' swore and barked, "Get somebody to check the cameras. I need to know if he came here and also if he left. Got it?"

"What's wrong?" Mandi asked.

The Doctor slammed his phone shut. Then, he whirled on me and asked, "You're looking for a friend who may have gone with him?"

I blinked twice before stammering, "Uh ... maybe, yeah."

He grabbed my hand and started tugging me toward a hallway. "Come with me."

I was so taken by surprise that I simply went along with him. He wasn't being very gentle, but there was an urgency in his voice that made me keep my mouth shut about that. I hurried along as best I could in my heels, which weren't very well-suited to moving fast.

A couple of turns later, I found myself right back in the same hallway I'd just left after the Cowboy fucked me. The Doctor twisted the handle on the first door, opening it up and spotting rumbled bedsheets but nobody inside. He went to the second door, found it locked, and fished out a set of keys. Flipping quickly, he fitted a red-tagged key to the door and opened it, surprising the couple fucking up a storm on the bed. The girl wasn't Celeste.

"Sorry for the intrusion," The Doctor said before backing up and closing the door.

"You have a key to the rooms?" I asked in surprise.

"It's my house," he replied tightly. "And I'm betting your friend is in one of them."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It is if she's with Jasper."

"Why's that?"

The Doctor winced. "He's not a very nice guy."

The third door was also locked, also occupied, and also not Celeste and Jasper. The fourth door was the room I'd been in, and it was also empty. The Doctor swore and grabbed me by the hand as he dragged me down the stairs and into a different hallway. The first room there was empty, but the second was locked and The Doctor fitted his key. He burst into the room, and face-down on the bed was a blonde in a slutty Alice in Wonderland costume I recognized as Celeste's.

She was still fully dressed in a short pastel blue dress with white lace trimming, chunky black fuck-me pumps, and white stockings with the poker suit symbols running along them. But her skirt had been flipped up and her black panties were torn so that a thickly-muscled guy with blonde hair and full-sleeve tattoos covering both arms could rut into her from behind, and it looked like he was up her ass. I knew for certain that Celeste didn't do anal sex, and didn't much like hearing about it either. So my hands were covering my face in shock as I gawked at her and didn't move from the doorway.

The Doctor, on the other hand, had already stepped into the room and was taking a big swing at the blonde guy. He saw us at the last moment and threw his arm up, blocking the blow. But the Doctor was right on top of him, tackling him face-down on the floor before parking a knee on the guy's back and bending his arm into a hammerlock. Jasper tried to rock and roll The Doctor off of him, but before he could do anything else, three people rushed into the room behind us, two of them burly guys who grabbed Jasper and locked his arms behind him.

"What the fuck, man! We're just having a good time!" Jasper howled in complaint.

"I don't like it when guys hurt girls," he growled while sitting up and scowling. Turning his head, he barked, "Miranda, check her."

Miranda was apparently the third one who had come into the room, a tall, slender redhead, and she had already gone to Celeste. My best friend was still face-down on the bed, and a moment later Miranda turned back to the Doctor and explained with a proper English accent, "She's been roofied."

"Oh my gawd..." I gasped.

The redhead winced and added. "He took her without lube. She needs medical help."

"Shit. Is Alicia upstairs? She can work her ER magic, right?"

Miranda replied, "Probably."

"Last thing I want is a police report on this place."

"Even for him?" Miranda pointed at Jasper.

The Doctor scowled and looked over at the two guys still holding a struggling Jasper. "Take him outside. Remind him that he's not welcome here anymore. And then dump his sorry ass in an alley downtown."

The goons nodded and frog-marched Jasper out of the room, not easy to do since his pants were still around his ankles with his junk hanging out.

That left just the four of us in the room. I rushed to the bed and began choking on my tears as I realized Celeste was practically unconscious. She was moving a little bit, delirious in a daze with her eyelids blinking erratically as she moaned softly. There was blood trickling down her ass crack from where Jasper had sodomized her, and unable to hold back the waterworks any longer I began sobbing while holding her hand. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I never should have left you! I'm so sorry!"

A hand was stroking my back. The Doctor had come to me, seated beside me, and without hesitation he wrapped me up in a hug. "It's okay. It's not your fault. It's mine, and I'm sorry. I should have made sure the first time that bastard never set foot in this house again."

It was nice of him to say, but I knew that Celeste would not have been raped if I'd been with her. This was MY fault, and for the first time I realized that my stupid impulse to get high and get laid didn't just affect ME.

It had hurt HER.

"I'm so sorry," I blubbered again before turning into The Doctor's embrace and squeezing him tightly. "Thank you so much for finding her. Thank you, thank you."

"I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner."

I shook my head. "It would have been so much worse if you didn't find her at all."

I cried myself out for the next ten minutes, during which a tall busty blonde in a red Baywatch lifeguard suit arrived with a medical kit and started tending to Celeste. Eventually, the waterworks dried up and I sat back with a grimace, unable to look at the friend I'd betrayed any longer. Miranda had gone off somewhere else, but The Doctor was still beside me, holding my hand. And at length, I finally turned to him and said, "I don't even know your name."

He flashed me a charming smile and replied, "I'm Carter."

-- NOVEMBER 2003 --

It's funny. I made Carter wait three dates before sleeping with him.

Three dates. I hadn't done that since ... well, it must have been High School, but even then I could be an easy lay when I wanted to be. I'm not sure why I did it, especially after putting out for pretty much any cute guy who let me smoke his joint at whatever bar, nightclub, or party I met him at. But I made Carter wait, and he waited quite patiently for me. I didn't know how he managed it, at least not then.

The first date was the night after that fateful party. I'd given him my number, and he called me less than 24 hours later with an invitation to go to dinner. I got dolled up, he took me to a fancy restaurant, and I honestly had a wonderful time. He was the perfect gentleman. He appreciated my beauty and couldn't stop complimenting my good looks, my green eyes, or my dark hair; but he didn't pressure me into sex. I'd actually planned on putting out for him, a reward for the handsome stranger who had come to Celeste's rescue and subdued her rapist. But when he dropped me off at my apartment after dinner and I simply said "thank you" and "goodnight", he wasn't put off at all. Instead, he kissed my cheek and said he hoped to see me again real soon. And he left me wanting him even more for that.

No retiring to my bedroom to toke up and screw. No wham, bam, goodbye ma'am without even exchanging names. I actually wanted to see this guy again, and again and again and again. From the size and luxury of his house he was obviously rich, but it wasn't like I needed a sugar daddy. Still, I'd been impressed by his wealth, amused by his charm, and aroused by his handsomeness. That night after dinner, I really wanted to go to my bedroom, smoke a joint, and fuck myself with my vibrator. But I didn't. I wanted to be better than that. I wanted to be a better person ... for him.

And for me.

I had something to prove to myself, prove that I wasn't really the fucked-up bitch I'd become. Now I had been far from saint-like BEFORE Daddy died, but at least I hadn't been as messed up then as I had been in the last couple of months since returning to Berkeley. I had never been a "good girl", but suddenly I wanted to be. I had never even been a nice girl, but now I wanted to at least try. Watching Celeste get butt-raped had been a rude awakening, even more so because she was still struggling to forgive me. The only saving grace was that it was her own dumb idea to go into a bedroom with Jasper, and that it could have happened to her whether I was around or not. But then again, her memory was fuzzy and a part of her would always wonder if it would have happened to her if I'd NOT disappeared on her like I'd promised.

I would always wonder, too.

So I wanted to change. I wanted to be better. I wanted to actually go to class and pass my courses and have a nice, normal boyfriend. And maybe he could be the one.

Of course, a nice, normal boyfriend needed a nice, normal girlfriend. Not a bitch. Not a slut. It wasn't like I could put my hymen back, but for some reason I wanted to be pure and clean for Carter. So I swore off the weed, and I promised myself I'd be a better student. I was going to get over Daddy's death and move on with my life, and except for that Wednesday when the addiction won and I skipped class to get high for about an hour, I succeeded.

I stayed clean and sober for most of a week (that Wednesday aside). I was hyped-up and horny for our second date on Halloween. He'd called and told me not to dress up, and that he had an outfit for me. I'd clapped and smiled gleefully when he'd shown up with a nurse's costume to match his doctor. I didn't mind that it was quite the sexy nurse's costume; I wanted him to desire me after all. And we cruised out to enjoy the relative innocence of a school-sponsored Halloween party.

There was no alcohol served, although Carter showed me that he had a flask of hard liquor to add to our fruit punch cups. I felt like a naughty teenager sneaking a drink, and even that felt like innocent fun. Neither of us had enough to get drunk, but I got a bit of a buzz and we wound up making out in the front seats of his gleaming black Bentley. Still, I didn't put out. Good girls weren't that easy, and still Carter didn't pressure me.

We did our own separate things on Saturday, and that night Celeste and I stayed in and watched a movie together. She'd noticed me making the extra effort to reconnect with her, and she appreciated it. I had hopes that I could become the close, dependable friend I used to be for her.

Sunday, Carter invited me to tag along while he did some shopping. Okay, so technically that's not a date – just a few hours in each other's company – but I'm counting it as a date anyway. I had a great time hanging out with him in a low pressure, non-sexually tense environment. That he was willing to do so with me only enhanced my infatuation with him, and my sense of kismet was even further affirmed when we ran into them:

Adrienne and Ben.

A lot of shit had happened between me and Adrienne Dennis. At first, I'd loved her like a little doll, my protégé that I could mold into a blonde image of myself. Then, I'd loved her as a friend, and even as a sexual lover. But then I'd resented her as a rival, and I had to admit to myself that I'd become a bitch about it. I'd wanted to be Number One. I'd wanted to be Queen of the School. And as Daddy had learned, Elyse gets what she wants.

Running into Adrienne and Ben was a second shock to my system only about a week after the Celeste-incident. I was still reeling emotionally, and to find the pair of them hale and hearty and still obviously in love had absolutely killed me. Seeing them reminded me of the shit I'd done to them for no reason other than spite, and it showed me just how deep my bitchiness had run. I had a lot of making up to do.

I invited them to Carter's get-together, but they didn't show. I didn't necessarily expect them to – it was one of those 'sure we'll do lunch sometime' offers that never really gets followed up on. They had moved on a long time ago, and I knew I should as well. And I hoped I'd finally found the right guy to do that with.

So it was me who suggested Carter and I continue our shopping trip into dinner, my treat this time. I took him to my favorite romantic restaurant and proceeded to eat a whole four bites of my meal while playing footsie underneath the table and stroking his hand on top of it. At the end of the night, he graciously offered to drop me off back at my apartment. Coyly, I batted my eyelashes and asked if he wouldn't mind taking me back to HIS place tonight. The eager boy couldn't drive up the hill fast enough. We nearly wrecked when I decided to slide my hand up his thigh around a particularly sharp curve.

I managed to keep my hormones cooped up until we made it inside his front door, and then I flung myself into his arms. Carter carried me down the hallway, around a bend, and even down two flights of stairs. I have no idea how he navigated with my lips glued to his mouth and my head blocking most of his vision, but he managed to not drop me. Finally we got to his bedroom and it took every ounce of self-control he had to not rip my dress while removing it from my nubile body. And I really do mean it took every ounce of his self-control, because once he had my dress off, he had absolutely no self-control LEFT as he dropped his pants, seized my hips, and literally TOOK me.

It was glorious.

It was blissful.

And I wasn't even on drugs!

I'd found my new addiction.

The whole "drug-free" thing didn't last all that long, not that I minded. It was hard work being clean and sober, and I could get downright cranky at times, even with Celeste. Deep down, I knew I was an addict, but in practice I convinced myself that I wasn't really addicted. If anything, the two weeks I'd spent (mostly) sober gave me the confidence to believe I could quit any time I really needed to.

Thankfully, I wouldn't need to.

Friday was the get-together I'd invited Ben and Adrienne to. Carter didn't think anything of it when he led me to a fancy hookah in his living room and started me puffing away with my friends while he played host. To have my budding new potential boyfriend actually lead me to the weed reinforced in my head that such behavior was okay with him, that I didn't need to be completely pure and innocent to get and keep his love. Actually, it was that quest for Carter's love that led me AWAY from the hookah twenty minutes later.

Carter had charm oozing out his ears, and the girls lapped it up like it was chocolate. I got the impression that most of the girls were regulars, but this one skanky blonde with fake tits named Jillian was all over him more than the others, and when she stole a kiss from his lips my jealousy-meter spiked. I left my friends (only after making Mandi promise not to leave Celeste alone), waltzed up to Carter, took his head in my hands, and shoved my tongue down his throat. I kissed him like my life depended on it, and we got several whistles and cat-calls to get a room. To my everlasting delight, Carter responded by smirking at his friends while wrapping an arm around my waist and saying, "Excuse me, ladies, but I have someone very important to attend to."

The look in his eyes as he stared into mine melted my heart, and I went weak-kneed right then and there. But Carter held me firmly in his arms, and he led me back over to my friends and this time sat down beside me. The girls already knew the story, but they didn't know the man, and they spent the next half-hour flirtatiously grilling him about his background and about his intentions toward me.

He was a smooth operator, for sure. By the end of the interrogation, they were each eating out of the palm of his hand and shooting me envious looks as if they wanted to steal him away from me. It wasn't likely, because if he was the shark, I was the remora more or less attached to his body, and I wasn't letting go.

Of course, I continued smoking up a storm, and you already know how horny I get when I'm high. Thirty minutes was all I allowed for the girls to have their fun, and at the end of it I started tugging on my new boyfriend's arm and whimpering into his ear about how I wanted his dick inside me.

He seemed perfectly willing to give me what I wanted, but at the last moment my conscience reared its ugly head. Celeste was seated beside me, and even though the roofies had blanked a good chunk of her memory, she was still quite aware of what had happened the last time I'd left her in this house to go get laid.

But I came up with a solution. After all, Carter was HER hero more than mine, and she certainly was looking at him with lust and gratitude in her eyes. Celeste had been charmed by his roguish demeanor as much as any of the girls, and even though HIS interest was clearly focused on me, she was only too willing to accept my invitation to tag along.

I got to keep my promise not to abandon her again. Celeste got to properly thank the man who rescued her from Jasper's further predations. And Carter got to bang TWO smoking-hot coeds.

Win-win.