Chapter 23: The Hills ll

Well fed and fully-dressed, Sasha and I went out the door and headed up the hill toward the campus. Even though we were alone for the first time that morning, I didn't quite know how to start a conversation. And so we walked in silence up the pathway and around the first turn away from the house.

I glanced over at Sasha, trying to figure out what to say when she glanced over at me. I jerked my face forward and blushed in embarrassment while she did the same, but two steps later I came to an abrupt stop and sighed, "This is ridiculous. I'm sorry I walked in on you two. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Oh, no apology necessary," she said immediately. "We didn't lock the door or anything."

"Besides, it's not like this is the first time either of us has walked in on the other having sex."

"It's not. Totally," Sasha replied with a casual shrug, and we started walking again. But then she bit her lip and looked at me nervously. "So why does this feel awkward?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. Maybe because I didn't walk in on you with one of the Tri-Delts?"

"Maybe..." Sasha mused on that. "Maybe because what was happening in there was about more than just casual sex."

My eyebrows went up. "More than just sex? You mean like ... romantic?"

"What? No!" Sasha replied immediately, her eyes downcast as her ears turned bright red. "I like having sex with girls, but my romantic notions are pure hetero."

"Then..."

"I dunno..." Sasha pursed her lips and furrowed her brow in concentration. "This thing going on between me and Elyse ... it's different than with Andie or Jamie or any of the others. That's just sex, nothing more. This ... this ... I don't know how to explain it."

"How long has it been going on?"

Sasha flashed me an embarrassed smile and averted her eyes. "Tuesday..." she mumbled.

"Okay, okay..." I worked to wrap my head around it.

She shrugged. "Just kinda happened. It was nighttime and everyone was going to bed. Elyse and I always stay up late talking about whatever's going through her mind. She put her head down on my shoulder and I hugged her in reassurance that she'd be alright. The next thing I knew, she tilted her head back and kissed me. And things just snowballed from there."

"You had to have been pretty horny. Was that the first time you had sex since Saturday morning after the whole Rutledge thing?"

Sasha nodded.

I sighed. "I'm sorry about that. I've been neglecting you."

"Neglecting me?"

I gestured between her and me. "WE haven't hooked up since Saturday morning. That's what ... five days? That wasn't part of the deal. I was supposed to spend more quality time with you."

She shook her head. "You haven't been neglecting me. You've just been busy. First it was the Peyton thing with Rutledge, and Elyse showed up on your doorstep right after. It's not your fault."

"I could have gone out of my way to make time for you."

"If I was feeling neglected, I would have let you know. Really, I've been neglecting you, spending all of MY time with Elyse and talking to her instead of ... well ... putting out for you."

"You don't have to 'put out' for me and you know it."

"'Course not. Not with Andie and Kirstie and the rest of the harem still dropping by to keep you satisfied."

I frowned. "Does that bother you? Do you feel left out?"

"What? No. Relax. Not jealous. Just glad your needs are being taken care of while I've been ... well ... working on this Elyse Project."

"Elyse Project?"

Sasha smiled. "Look, I appreciate you being thoughtful and worried about neglecting me, but really this whole Elyse situation has been a blessing in disguise. Don't get me wrong – I've enjoyed everything about moving into the house with you – but at the same time, I wasn't really DOING anything. Hang out, socialize with the Tri-Delts, daydream about you ... it was all routine. Just marking time until graduation and not really being proactive about effecting change in my life. But Elyse being here has given me a sense of purpose. She's something I can ... someone ... for whom I can make a difference."

I frowned. "You felt like you couldn't make a difference for me?"

Sasha sighed. "Let's face it: I was just one of the harem. Yeah, I'm not a Tri-Delt, and you and I spend a lot of time together on campus and all that, but there wasn't anything I could do to change your mind about seeing me as more than a friend-with-benefits. Really, it was becoming quite clear that Andie's your favorite."

"I'm not trying to pick favorites..."

She shook her head and held a hand palm out. "No, it's okay. I get it. She's really sweet and devoted and attentive and I can't blame her for being in love with you."

"It's not like that."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, and we're getting off subject. We were talking about me and Elyse."

I grimaced but mimed zipping my mouth shut. The last thing I wanted to do was get self-centered right now. Not everything was about me. Still, moments later I mimed unzipping my mouth and asked, "So what is it about Elyse that's interested you so much? Clearly she and you have clicked from the beginning."

Sasha shrugged. "She needs me, and it's nice to feel needed, you know? But besides that, I feel a sort of ... kinship with her and the situation she's in. We're both orphans in a way: abandoned by our parents, no other family. And then there's the obvious link to the skin trade. Now I've never been even remotely tempted to go as far as prostitution, but let's face it: I sell my naked body for money. I've been to that darker side of society, and I know how rough it can be for a girl without a lot of support."

I nodded slowly. "Guess I didn't really think about that."

"And it's been nice to be on the supportive side for once. I think I'm starting to understand why you have your White Knight complex. It's quite rewarding to feel like you're able to make a positive difference in someone's life."

I frowned. "But now I feel like I haven't been making a positive difference in your life lately."

"You've already done so much for me: Being there for me after my break-up with Rod. Accepting me into your social clique and helping me make friends. Introducing me to people like Paige and even the Tri-Delts. And of course, letting me move in here and be ... well ... even in your busy harem, you still let me be your Thursday night girl."

"Tonight's Thursday."

Sasha smiled. "I hadn't forgotten."

I arched an eyebrow. "So that means you're still coming to my room tonight? Or should I ask Andie to keep me company since you'll be downstairs with Elyse?"

Sasha laughed. "No, I'm still coming. Elyse and I talked about it last night. She's had me for almost a week straight and she thinks tonight is as good a time as any to try and sleep alone. She'll have to learn eventually, to face down her demons and get through the night by herself. And you're right ... I haven't been with you in five days now ... and I miss that part of our relationship."

"Elyse didn't get you off this morning?"

"She did, but..." Sasha shook her head. "I've told you before: You rock my world in a way that simply can't be matched."

I smiled. "Glad to hear it."

"And ... I've missed you."

"Missed me?"

"Missed spending time with you. Missed having that intimacy with you, being your 'constant'. I don't blame Andie for taking advantage of the situation to be with you as much as possible, but I can still be jealous of all the time she's gotten to have you and I didn't."

I frowned. "I thought you said you didn't feel neglected?"

"I don't. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I AM still in love with you."

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"C'mon. You know what I'm talking about. Haven't you missed being with me, too? Or were you too buried underneath Tri-Delt flesh to notice?"

"Of course not." I shook my head firmly. "That's why I wanted to talk to you about all this."

She nodded. But then after a deep breath, she gave me a pained expression and asked, "Does me spending all this time with Elyse instead of with you bother you? I know I joke about the harem keeping you satisfied, but I never stopped to ask if you were okay with it."

"What? No, it doesn't bother me. If anything, it makes me appreciate you more."

"I'm keeping Elyse occupied so you don't have to constantly worry about how to handle her situation."

"Well ... yeah. Absolutely. But even besides the obvious, the support you've given Elyse shows me a facet of your character I didn't realize you had. Really, over the last few months I feel like I've been seeing so many different sides of your personality I didn't know about before, and every time I discover a new one, I appreciate you more and more. To witness your nurturing side in action has been very appealing. It shows me that you're capable and confident and strong enough to deal with a very difficult situation like Elyse's. That's impressive, and I'm impressed."

Sasha grinned.

"And as for you not spending as much time with me ... well ... actually, I like that you're able to be in love with me without smothering me. Don't get me wrong, I'm very fond of Andie, but she IS quite clingy. Long term, it would be nice to know that my girlfriend could operate independently of me."

"Oh!" Sasha chirped with a smile. "So I'm back in the potential-girlfriend conversation again?"

"You were always in the conversation. It's MY heart that's stuck in neutral right now. And honestly, it's probably going to stay that way until graduation."

Sasha stepped in front of me and stopped, forcing me to stop as well. From only inches away, she looked up at me with her big brown eyes and asked sincerely, "But what about after graduation? What happens to us then?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't know. Didn't you get some good job offers downtown?"

"I did. Really, I can't wait to get started on a real full-time job and be able to quit dancing." Sasha sighed and looked away into the distance. "In fact, I'm weighing the idea of never going back, period."

"What? There's still a month of school left."

"I told you," Sasha explained, "living here has really helped my savings. The lower expenses plus what I've already saved up, and I can honestly say I could get through the rest of my college career without having to dance for even one more night. Of course, that's four full weekends of tips I'd be giving up, and I'd be almost flat broke at the end of the month, but I could do it. And with everything going on, I'm not entirely sure I want to go back."

"And then what? Take a cushy job in the city, find a nice apartment, and move on with your life?"

Sasha shrugged. "Maybe. What about you? Where are YOU going?"

"Well..." I took a deep breath. "Right now the plan is to stick around and get my MBA. I'll just have to find a new place to live."

Sasha frowned. "You're not keeping the house?"

"And live with whom? Brooke and DJ are going to keep their apartment with Faye. And sweetheart deal on rent with my family's friends aside, this place is too big for me to stay here all by myself."

Sasha looked at me seriously. "Well what if I stayed here with you?"

My eyebrows went up. "None of your job offers are in Berkeley, if I recall."

She shrugged. "Rent here is still way cheaper than downtown. I can commute."

"Just the two of us?"

She shrugged again. "And whatever friends want to visit, like the Tri-Delts. Not so different from what you're doing now, really. Most of your harem are Juniors or younger, and if those girls have their way, they'll keep coming here to hang out and get great sex until THEY graduate."

"But that's just it: I don't know that I'll want to continue our current arrangement into next year."

Sasha's eyebrows went up. "Why not?"

"Well ... for example ... let's say I want to finally dip my toe back into the relationship world. Who's to say my next girlfriend would be okay with me screwing Tri-Delts on the side?"

Sasha gave me a bemused look. "Well... I would be okay with it..."

My eyebrows arched. "You would?"

"Mmm-hmm ... Hypothetically, of course."

"You mean under the hypothetical that you became my girlfriend."

"Hypothetically..."

"Riiight..."

Sasha put her hand on top of mine and then looked deep into my eyes. "I love you, Ben. I'm still in love with you. This is more than infatuation, more than a crush. I know you're not ready for a relationship right now, definitely not until graduation, and maybe not even then. But I have to say ... if you're interested ... Well whenever you are ready ... I will be too."

"And they just ... jiggle ... like that ... all the time?" Elyse asked. It was the middle of the afternoon, and while Sasha had a class, Bert and I had returned to the house to unwind through some digital exercise.

Bert turned and grinned at Elyse. "A bunch of horny Japanese men designed a video game featuring big-breasted girls wearing skimpy outfits while they beat the crap out of each other. Yes ... yes they put a lot of work into designing the digital 'jiggle'."

Elyse frowned. "I dunno. With a name like Dead or Alive 4 I would have thought the focus would be on ... well ... the fighting."

"It is!" Bert insisted. "This is one of the preeminent fighters in existence right now. It's just that the game makers know their primary audience is full of teenage males who probably spend more time with these digital avatars than they do with real girls. It's pure marketing."

Elyse raised her eyebrows. "So you two would rather be doing this than go out and be with real girls?"

Bert flashed her a sardonic grin. "My girlfriend is across the Bay and I don't have time to go visit her. Gaming lets me stress-relief without being tempted by ... well... them."

Elyse followed Bert's gesture over to the dining table where Andie, Jamie, Whitney, and Nora were doing their homework. Nora stuck her tongue out at him, and Whitney winked.

Elyse glanced over at me. "What's your excuse?"

I shrugged and focused on my button-mashing. "Gaming let's me stress-relief without being tempted by them," I replied in the exact same tone as Bert.

"But we like tempting you!" Andie protested from across the room.

I raised my eyebrows and smirked at Elyse. "If I don't occupy myself with games, those girls will do everything in their power to trap me in my bedroom 24/7. This is my downtime."

Elyse chuckled and finally put out her hand. "Fine then. Deal me in. Or ... whatever. Give me a controller and lemme try."

"Seriously?" Bert smiled broadly.

Elyse sighed. "I've been in need of a lot of stress-relief myself lately. Maybe by pretending I'm one of these big-titted babes, I can kick the crap out of some beefy, ugly dudes and feel better about myself."

Bert's smile turned into a smirk. "Absolutely. But be careful. The power rush can be addicting."

Elyse narrowed her eyes. "Don't worry about me. I think I already know all there is to know about addiction."

Bert's face turned white, and he started babbling out an apology that Elyse cut off with a raised hand. Finally he just mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Wasn't offended," she replied. "Just show me what to do."

We spent the better part of an hour gaming, with Andie joining in later for a team battle with Bert and Elyse ultimately proving themselves the better pair against Andie and me.

Then, Andie checked the clock and commented, "Hey, we still have a little time before we need to get to class." She didn't say anything else, but the innuendo in her voice and the expression on her face suggested exactly what she wanted to do with that bit of time.

I chuckled and replied, "Later, cutie."

She pouted and said, "Tonight's Sasha's night. We don't have a later."

"We have tomorrow, and every night after that until next Thursday, alright?"

She frowned and pouted some more, but sighed and went back to her books. In the meantime, I headed upstairs with my bag to swap out my books and binders. And as I got a whiff of my armpit, I decided a fresh shirt would be a good idea as well.

And so I was shirtless when I heard footsteps on the floorboards behind me. I hadn't bothered to close the door, and without turning around I sighed and said, "It's alright, cutie. I really don't need a blowjob just to go to class."

"I wasn't going to offer," Elyse replied in a rather huskier voice than Andie's. "But if you want one, I'll give it to you."

I jerked around in surprise, my new shirt still in my hands. "Oh, Elyse. I'm sorry, I thought you were Andie. She has a habit of not taking 'no' for an answer."

"It's okay," Elyse replied with a shrug before canting her head to the side and giving me an odd look. "But just so you know, I meant what I said."

"About what?"

The corners of Elyse's lips curled upwards, but there was something a little ... dangerous ... about her smile. "About giving you a blowjob if you wanted one."

"Elyse, of course you don't have to."

"Oh, I know."

"And I seem to remember you didn't even like giving blowjobs."

Her bright green eyes dimmed for a moment as she looked away. "There's a lot I've done lately that had nothing to do with whether I liked it or not."

I felt a bit of nausea in the pit of my stomach, which well and truly killed even the remotest chance of me becoming aroused. Swallowing the bile that had come up the back of my throat, I sighed and frowned.

Looking back at me, Elyse recognized my expression of distaste and she frowned as well. "Sorry. That came out a little more grim than I'd intended."

"It's okay. So long as you know you'll never have to do anything like that for me."

"I know. It's one of the reasons why I trust you. Getting laid isn't exactly a problem for you in this household, and you're not the type to force anybody. I just meant ... well ... ugh, this is gonna sound messed up..." Elyse grimaced, and she sighed while throwing her hands up before rambling, "I just meant that I'd do it for you as a way of saying thanks, alright? If you wanted one, I mean. It's just ... For you ... after everything you've already done for me ... I wouldn't find it a chore, or like I was forced into it, not like one of them ... It's just that I kinda owe you for putting me up here and I haven't repaid you but it's not like I have any money so I thought that maybe I'd ... I'd ... Shit. This is coming out wrong."

"Elyse..." I said gently.

Sighing, she picked her head up and looked at me. "Yeah?"

"You don't have to repay me anything, alright?"

"I knew you'd say that."

I shrugged. "Then you understand."

She scowled. "But I don't like the feeling that I owe you."

"You don't. There's no debt."

"But there is. There's always a debt. People don't do shit out of the kindness of their hearts."

"They do here. I do. Sasha does. The girls downstairs have. None of us expect a thing from you, alright?"

"I know, I know..."

"Your words say 'you know', but I'm not sure you really believe it."

Elyse's eyes blazed with green fire for a moment. "Let's just say that I've heard guys talk like you before. But in the end, there's always a catch."

I frowned. "So is that the real reason you offered me a blowjob? As a test?"

"What? No. Not a ... a test ... I just thought ... I mean, I want to believe you're really just a nice guy who can help me out, the kind of guy who helped Adrienne become who she is. But it's hard. Hard to trust, you know? And I didn't come up here to offer you a blowjob. YOU were the one who mentioned it."

"Because I thought you were Andie."

She shrugged and looked away. "I just ... If you let me blow you, I wouldn't feel so indebted to you, alright? I wouldn't be on pins and needles waiting for the other shoe to drop, for this idyllic vacation from the hellish existence that has been my life these last few years to finally vanish like so many pipe dreams. As it is, the longer I stay here without paying you back a single thing ... the more I worry you'll kick me out."

This whole while, I'd been holding my fresh shirt in my hands. Now, I took the time to pull it over my head and slip my arms through the sleeves. And only once fully-dressed did I take a deep breath, look Elyse in the eye, and explain, "Look, I only have this house through graduation. That's basically another month. I give you no guarantees about what will happen at that point, but until then, you are welcome to stay. No strings. No catches. No expectations, alright? I can't pretend to know what you're going through, or even how I can best support you. But letting you stay here, with a roof over your head, plenty of meals, and a little bit of safety from those people who hurt you, that I can do. And I'm going to do it, for another month at least, without needing you to 'pay me back' in any way, alright?"

Though she didn't look fully convinced, or even very satisfied, Elyse nevertheless nodded her agreement. The wariness in her eyes seemed to leave her as she exhaled slowly. And with one final deep breath, she muttered, "Alright."

Elyse left, and while I was smart enough to know this single conversation wouldn't be the end of it, I figured I wouldn't have to worry about her feeling the need to "repay me" for a few days at least. And from there I got back on schedule.

I went to class. I returned home with my friends. We did some homework. We made and ate dinner. And then Bert left to catch a BART train to go home.

He wasn't the only one leaving. Andie, Jamie, and Lakhi had joined us for dinner. Now that the meal was over, all three of the Tri-Delts were packing up to leave. But not all of them were going happily.

"Can't I stay here?" Andie whined as she dropped into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I chuckled and nodded. "Um, of course you can, cutie. It was your idea to head out for the night and reconnect with your sorority friends."

"I know, I know," the bottle-blonde sighed. "It's just ... I haven't spent a night outside of this house in weeks. I'm going to miss you."

"We'll see each other tomorrow."

"Or maybe I don't leave you tonight."

"Andie..." Jamie warned in a low voice from behind us.

Andie glanced up at her friend and pouted. But she closed her eyes and nodded firmly, and then took a deep breath before leaning in and kissing me firmly. "I love you," she muttered beneath her breath.

"I know," I replied before pecking her quickly. "See you tomorrow."

Before she could change her mind, Andie quickly swiveled her legs and hopped off my lap. Bouncing to her feet, she grabbed her backpack and headed for the door.

I watched her leave and slid my gaze over to Jamie. She smiled and blew me a kiss before following after. Lakhi and Bert were already by the door.

Once they were all gone, just three of us remained: me, Sasha, and Elyse. Sasha looked over at me and ordered plainly, "Ben, go take a shower."

I arched an eyebrow at her command tone, and asked, "Do you want to join me? After all, it's 'Sasha Thursday'."

The exotically-beautiful brunette smiled but shook her head. "Not tonight. I want to make sure Elyse is squared away."

I took a deep breath and pinched my lips before looking over at Elyse. "Will you be alright? This'll be the first time you've been completely alone in a while, not even a Tri-Delt hanging around to keep you company."

"I'll be fine," Elyse replied while darting a glance over at Sasha.

I also looked over at Sasha. "Maybe you can return downstairs and spend the night with her afterwards."

Sasha shrugged and said, "Don't worry, we've got it all worked out."

I blinked at that answer but decided to roll with it. With a smile for both girls, I turned and headed up the stairs. Minutes later, I was in the shower scrubbing away the day's dirt and grime.

Even though she'd declined to join me, I still half-expected Sasha to arrive before I was done. It really shouldn't take all THAT long for her to get Elyse situated and comfortable before returning to me, and fooling around beneath the shower spray was one of Sasha's favorite methods of foreplay. But I went through the routines of shampooing my hair, scrubbing my face, and washing my body without any interruptions from a buxom brunette. And so it was with mild disappointment that I dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist to walk back into my bedroom.

I stopped in my tracks two steps inside the door, that sense of mild disappointment vanishing into thin air. How could I possibly feel disappointed to see a gorgeous, big-titted brunette sitting up against my headboard wearing slinky lingerie, smiling and clearly waiting for me to come and ravish her. And yet while my disappointment evaporated, it wasn't arousal or excitement that took its place. Because although I was not surprised to find a gorgeous, big-titted brunette waiting for me in my bed, I WAS surprised by her identity: Elyse.

"Umm..." I mumbled in bewilderment. "Didn't we talk about this already?"

Elyse stared back at me, her smile a little nervous and her eyes a little wary. Her gaze moved from me to the sitting area of the room, drawing my attention over there as well to see Sasha standing up from one of the armchairs wearing a different set of slinky lingerie.

"Surprise," Sasha said cheerily with a teasing smile on her face.

I blinked. "This was your idea?"

Sasha glanced at Elyse and explained, "We both talked about it and mutually agreed to the plan. I get to have my Thursday with you. Elyse doesn't have to spend the night alone. But more to the point: I thought it would be a good idea for you to show her what lovemaking can be like when it's not about power or control. She's gone far too long without a man pleasing her for the sake of pleasing her, and not simply taking her because he can."

"I don't know if this is a good idea."

"Please, Ben," Sasha said quietly. "She wants this. She's spent almost a week here listening to you satisfy girl after girl after girl, all of whom walk out of this room singing your praises. She's never felt like the way they describe. And besides ... she wants to thank you for being so kind to her."

I made a face. "It's the 'thanking' part that doesn't sit well with me. Elyse, we talked about this."

"Then forget about the 'thanks' part," Elyse spoke up, "and just think of the sex part. I don't remember the last time a guy made me orgasm without the help of drugs. I don't remember the last time a guy 'made love' to me and didn't just fuck me. I've been a prostitute, and a fuck-toy, and a sex slave; I don't remember the last time I was simply a 'lover'."

I sighed, hearing her words and the plea in them and yet unable to shake my unease with the situation. "I just don't know."

Elyse frowned and her head stooped. "So I guess I AM just damaged goods to you."

"No ... it's not that. I let you come here to protect you from being taken advantage of, not to take advantage of you myself."

She shook her head. "It's not taking advantage of me if I'm the one asking for this."

"Still ... I let you stay here so you could heal, not so I could get into your panties."

"And what if getting into my panties is part of my healing process? I got addicted to more than just the drugs. As violent and as degrading as the sex could be, I got used to getting pounded on a daily basis. Yeah, the encounters weren't always entirely consensual and my partners weren't exactly interested in my pleasure, but most often I was wired up enough that I still climaxed and still felt the bliss of orgasmic relief. I felt an almost Pavlovian response to those climaxes, those brief moments where my mind went blank and I didn't worry about all the shit going on in my life. It's been really hard for me these last couple of weeks to not only go through meth withdrawal, but also sexual withdrawal."

I blinked. "You're a meth AND sex addict?"

Elyse shrugged. "They kind of go hand-in-hand, for me at least. I always said there was nothing better than getting laid while getting high. Hell, I usually HAVE to get high to enjoy sex, but I wondered if you – with your infamous Big Ben reputation – might be able to get me off without meth or weed."

I frowned. "Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't Sasha been helping you in that regard, at least the 'getting off' part?"

She shook her head. "It's not the same thing. Girl-on-girl is nice, but I'm craving cock and it's stressing me out to go this long without. It's not so bad yet that I'd be willing to go back to Carter just to get laid or anything, but it's hard to fight BOTH cravings at the same time. If you were able to take care of my sex needs, maybe I'd have more strength to fight the drug addiction."

My eyes goggled. "You're serious?"

Elyse nodded firmly before eyeing the bulge in my towel. I wasn't erect or anything, but my package still made a dent. She licked her lips and sighed, "Yeah ... I'm serious. Sasha's right: I've watched the parade of girls walk in and out of this house, every one of them finding their satisfaction with you. No strings attached. No romantic complications. No threats if they don't put out. It's so completely different from life in Carter's harem, a total 180 from the life I used to lead. Here it's just good, clean fun for the sake of fun, and I can't help but wonder what that might be like for me. Really, I'm curious. And really, Ben, you're the first guy I've WANTED to have sex with – by real choice – in a long, long time."

I pinched my lips together, trying to understand. I still couldn't shake the feeling that there was an inherent conflict of interest here, and my whole body was tense inside. But I was trying to understand.

"Please, Ben," Sasha spoke up again. "You'll be helping us both out."

I arched an eyebrow in surprise. "You both? How would this help you?"

"By helping her. I'm trying to help Elyse get back on her feet, get her back into the real world. Help me show her she can find pleasure, find that energy she craves without crystal meth. She talks about her world being inky darkness and only drugs ever providing a little light. Let's find her a different source of illumination, okay? I've been trying my best, but this sort of thing is exactly what you're really good at. Help me. Help her. Please?"

As weirded out by the situation as I felt, I couldn't shake the plea in Sasha's voice. What she was saying made a certain logical sense, even if my conscience didn't seem to wholly agree. And as I watched her move to the bed and recline on one elbow in a seductive pose with her legs stretched out to the side, I found myself nodding reluctantly.

"Okay..." I began slowly before taking a deep breath and looking at Elyse. "Okay, I'll try. If this is really what you want."

She nodded and gave me a faint smile. "Show me the way to heaven, if you can." There was a little challenge in her voice.

I chuckled as my ego rose up against the tone. But while my ego rose up, my penis wasn't stirring much. Looking down at my crotch, I sighed and explained, "Still ... this whole situation hasn't exactly put me in the right mood."

Sasha grinned. "You let us worry about the right mood." And with that, she rolled over on top of Elyse's body. Putting herself on all fours, she kissed her way up Elyse's belly and nuzzled her face in the raven-haired beauty's tremendous tits. And after a few quick nips at lace-covered nipples, Sasha moved higher still and captured Elyse's lips with her own.

Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I moved over to the sitting area and dropped into one of the armchairs to enjoy the view. For a few minutes, I tried to figure out how to assuage my anxieties at the same time I was supposed to be getting sexually aroused. My heart didn't know whether it was supposed to speed up or slow down, and after a while I simply had to grab onto my forehead with both hands and order myself to get a grip.

On the bed, Elyse and Sasha were really getting into each other. Their bras had both come off, leaving two sets of firm D-cup melons to bounce and mash together while they frantically kissed and sucked at each other's necks. Elyse pushed two fingers into Sasha's twat, pumping rapidly while Sasha gasped and moaned like a fish out of water. And Sasha suckled one of Elyse's teats into her mouth, nursing fervently while squeezing and manipulating the other breast in her hand.

Still, I'd only managed half a chubby. As glorious as it was to see the two gorgeous babes dyking it out on my bed, I still had some nagging sense of wrongness in the back of my head. Elyse had by definition been sexually abused. She'd been manipulated and coerced into submitting to the merest whims of those who controlled her meth addiction, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had only taken their place. True, I wasn't threatening her should she fail to sexually perform, but this afternoon's conversation about repayment and obligation stuck with me, and I couldn't help believing that if Elyse DID sleep with me, she would at least partially be doing so because she felt she HAD to.

And that idea simply didn't turn me on.

The girls found that out when they left the bed and came to me. Now both fully naked, Sasha and Elyse crawled to the front of my chair with big grins and Sasha reached up to open my towel. She frowned when she saw that my cock was not at full mast, quite possibly the first time she'd seen it lacking when presented with this kind of opportunity. But without further thought she simply bent over and inhaled my prick to the root, sucking me powerfully and bobbing her head up and down in my lap in an effort to get my shaft to elongate.

To some extent, she was successful. Despite my mental hang-ups, the physical pleasure was just too good. I felt myself growing in Sasha's mouth, and she certainly felt me thickening as well. She grinned around my meat before popping off and stroking me with her hands. And then she passed me off to Elyse.

For only the second time, and the first since that fateful Spring Break party at Candy Carter's La Jolla beach house, Elyse Laughton sucked my dick into her mouth. She looked up at me, electric green eyes boring into the back of my skull. She moaned erotically, savoring the feeling of a thick cock filling her oral cavity. And her tongue slithered along the underside of my shaft, teasing it with warm, wet texture.

It felt good. But it also felt wrong, and not in a good "wrong". It just felt wrong-wrong, and with my heartbeat suddenly accelerating, I jerked upright in my chair and grabbed onto Elyse's shoulders, physically moving her back and away from my crotch. Once my dick was free, I abruptly stood up and slid out from in front of the girls. And grabbing the towel, I whipped it in front of my crotch and held it like a shield while backing further away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I babbled. "I can't do this."

"Ben--" Sasha started.

"I'm sorry. But I can't do this!" I groaned to Elyse. "It just doesn't feel right. I'm supposed to protect you, not become the next guy to use your body!"

"So that's it then," Elyse sighed, staring at the empty chair. "That's really all I am to you: damaged goods."

"Elyse, it's not like that."

"Doesn't matter," she muttered as she stood up, her gaze still firmly pointed away from me. "I already knew."

"Elyse, I'm sorry."

Suddenly her eyes fixed on mine. And in a cold, emotionless voice, she stated quietly, "You don't need to apologize. It is what it is." And then she walked out of the room.

"Elyse!" Sasha called as she scrambled to her feet. And then she turned and gave me an angry/disappointed look. "Dammit, Ben!"

I shrugged helplessly, still holding the towel over my naked crotch.

Sasha ran after Elyse, her footsteps thumping down the stairs.

I slept alone.

-- FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 2006, SENIOR YEAR --

I made breakfast for the girls, and when they awoke there were apologies all around. I did my best to assure Elyse that I didn't see her as damaged goods, that she was a very attractive young woman who I'd be happy to sleep with under different circumstances. I tried to convince her that I actually saw her as more special because I couldn't bring myself to simply fuck her, and Sasha backed me up since I'd basically done the same thing to her for quite a while.

Sasha apologized for trying to push the issue, for springing the surprise on me and then going forward with it even though I was clearly uncomfortable. And Elyse apologized for being a burden in the first place, an apology for which Sasha and I both went out of our way to dismiss as unnecessary.

In the end, Sasha left for class and Elyse and I played video games for about an hour. Elyse joined us and Bert and Paige for lunch before returning home to hang out with the Tri-Delts. And Sasha, Bert, and I went back for our afternoon Isakova course.

After class, Sasha told me she was going back to Nocturne one last time. Even though she'd decided to quit dancing for a living, she figured that she owed the owners the courtesy of telling them her decision in person, and that she planned to work one last night so they wouldn't have to scramble to find a last-minute replacement.

"One last night, and them I'm all yours," she told me with a kiss and a smile.

"I'll wait up for you then," I told her. "We never did get to have 'our Thursday' last night."

She grinned and kissed me again.

And so it was that Sasha and I separated at our usual intersection as she headed for the BART station and I headed for home. I crossed Bancroft and made my way down the sidewalk. And all alone, I made the final turn for home, whistling as I approached the house. Andie would be waiting, and after nearly 24 hours away, I knew she would be extra-horny and extra-needy. A trip around the world would likely be in order, quite possibly all before dinner.

But just as I got close to the house, my cell phone started singing to me.

// Miss Independent, Miss Self-sufficient, Miss Keep your distance

// Miss Unafraid, Miss Out of My Way, Miss Don't let a man, interfere, no

// Miss On Her Own, Miss Almost Grown, Miss Never let a man help her off her throne.

It was the special ringtone I'd reserved just for Brooke. It got my attention immediately and, though it took me a while to dig my phone out of my pocket, I halted my progress toward the house and answered, "Hey, Brooke. Good to hear from you. What's up?"

"Hey, bro," my sister replied. "Something's come up, and I thought you deserved to know."

"That sounds ominous. What's up?"

"There's a get-together tonight at Carter's. We're all going."

I knocked, and after a little while the door swung open. Brooke gave me a tight smile and gestured with her hand. "Come on in."

I didn't move. "What the HELL are you girls thinking? I TOLD you that guy is bad news!"

Brooke folded her arms across her chest, leaned against the doorjamb, and leveled me with a look. "I said: come on in." And without another word, she spun on one heel and marched into the living room.

Sighing, I followed after and closed the door behind me. I then looked up to see Brooke turn back and sit down on the sofa's armrest, her arms still folded across her chest. Seated beside her in order were DJ, Faye, and Lexi Gilmore.

My eyes zeroed in on Lexi. She was the one girl I didn't expect to be here, given that she was the only one who didn't live in this apartment. She was also the one girl I thought was most in danger of Carter's predations, given that she was the tall, green-eyed brunette currently going through his "girlfriend process". And she was also the only one who hadn't met Elyse face-to-face.

Or so I'd thought.

It probably would have gone better if I hadn't lost my cool right from the beginning, but I did, going "overly-protective-Big-Brother-Nazi" as Brooke would have described it. Without bothering to say "hello", I immediately stomped over and repeated the same thing I'd barked in the doorway. "What the HELL are you girls thinking? I TOLD you that guy is bad news!"

"That's my boyfriend you're trying to slander," Lexi replied coldly from the other end of the couch.

"Oh yeah? Do you know how many other girlfriends he's running at the same time? Huh?" I shot back.

Lexi looked astounded. "Really? A question like that? From YOU?"

"Tell me, Ben," Faye spoke up. "How many girlfriends are YOU running at the same time?"

I twisted my face up and scowled, "This is not about ME."

"Isn't it, though?" Lexi stared daggers at me. "The mere thought of your pure, innocent little 'froshlings' perhaps being not-so-innocent and maybe even enjoying their college experience a little too much for your overprotective mind to handle? Hmm? Especially Brooke and DJ?"

"It's not about ME. It's about HIM. And YOU!" I jabbed a finger at Lexi before staring down the other three. Brooke, DJ, and Faye had all been there when I introduced them to Elyse and had her explain her history with Carter. "How can you let her keep seeing him? Did you not hear a thing Elyse and I told you last week?"

"We heard every word," DJ spoke up, looking apologetic. "And we don't blame you at all. I know that you believed everything you were telling us."

"'Believed' everything I was telling you?" I gawked.

Brooke nodded. "You were just looking out for our safety. Yeah, you can be a little overbearing at times, but we know your concern comes from the heart. The thing is, we've come to realize your concern is misplaced."

"WHAT are you TALKING about?!?" I yelled in bewilderment. "Misplaced? Did you not SEE Elyse? See her bruises? You think I want that to happen to any of you?"

"That would never happen to any of us," DJ stated emphatically.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really," DJ shot back with hardness in her eyes. "Give us a little credit to be able to fend for ourselves. Or is your opinion of our decision-making capabilities really so low?"

"Your capabilities aren't what concern me. It's the capability of amoral scumbags like Carter Sheridan to do anything and everything to get their way that makes me worry. He USES people."

"That's a lie!" Lexi barked. "And I won't have you spreading any more!"

My mouth slack, I gestured helplessly back and forth between the girls and some spot behind me toward the door. "Were any of you paying attention when I brought you to see Elyse?"

"She's a liar, and her story is made up," Lexi stated quietly.

I scowled. "I'll bet Carter told you that."

Lexi's chin rose challengingly. "I'll take his word over that druggie-whore's word any day. She's an addict. She'll say anything it takes to get what she wants."

"Or so says the silver-tongued devil who wants to get into your panties."

"I don't need to take Carter's word for it. I've met her myself."

I blinked in surprise. "Elyse? You have?"

"Of course! She was a regular at so many parties. Baggy-eyed, skinny bitch who'd gotten herself into some deep shit, that one. Would sleep with anyone... anyone ... to get her next hit. Carter let me watch her in action once. Absolutely depraved piece of trash. One minute, she's begging me to let her borrow money so she can buy her next fix and then next, she's accusing me of trying to steal from her! Unstable, unethical, amoral sack of shit is what she is. When the girls came to me with their horror story of the ... the creature you let into your house, I knew right away you were being scammed. They didn't believe me. Said your story was very convincing. But I let them tag along with me and we met up with Carter yesterday for dinner and he explained the whole thing."

I was still blinking in surprise. "What?"

"He said Elyse was an ex-girlfriend, which was why he was trying to be nice to her. But she got too addicted, and addicts can be dangerous. She started prostituting herself to get enough money to buy drugs, and then she began threatening his friends. A couple of months ago Carter kicked her out because she was too dangerous, and she ended up with this asshole Jasper. Now Jasper is a real piece of work; I met him once and believe me, I never want to see the bastard again. The point is: the guy really used and abused Elyse, and it was Carter who went out of his way to rescue Elyse back and try and get her some help. She had a meltdown like a month ago when Jillian overdosed and died. Carter paid out of his own pocket to put her into rehab, but she ran away two weeks ago. He had no idea what had happened to her until we told him just yesterday that she was with you."

My jaw was flapping up and down. "Um ... uh ... what?"

"It's simple: Elyse is a liar. Everything she told you has been to manipulate you into helping her out. Like this whole idea that Carter 'sold' her to Jasper? Preposterous! Carter detests Jasper and wouldn't go near the guy with a ten-foot pole. SHE chose to go to HIM, because she was willing to do anything to get her fix. Carter would NEVER have sent any of his girls to Jasper. Period."

I furrowed my brow. "But you DO understand that he's got a lot of girls around him."

"Psht. Like you don't?"

"That's different."

"Is it? Carter's charming. He's handsome. And he's rich. A guy like that attracts a lot of girls around him, but I'm his special one. Amongst a sea of hot babes, he picked ME. Don't get all jealous because you could have had me but turned down the opportunity."

I frowned. "Lexi, I'm trying to look out for you."

"Then at best you're misguided. I don't need you to save me. If anything, somebody needs to save you from Elyse. She'll say whatever it takes and fuck whoever she has to fuck to get her next fix." Lexi then sat up straight. "Or did she already fuck you?"

"What? No. No, I wouldn't do that to her."

"You expect me to believe you'd turn down a big-titted slut like that?"

"Turned YOU down, didn't I?" I shot back. Lexi scowled and I immediately held my hands up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply you are anything like her. I'm just trying to point out that while everyone in this room knows that I get around quite a bit, I'm not capricious about it. There IS a sense of morals in this head, alright?"

Lexi pursed her lips, not happy but not quite angry, either.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket, but before the ringtone started up I reached in and thumbed the button to silence it. Taking a deep breath, I tried to work my head around the situation and rubbed my head for a moment before looking up at the girls and grunting, "There's nothing I can say that will stop you from going to that party tonight, is there?"

Lexi shook her head firmly. Faye, DJ, and Brooke were a little more hesitant, but in the end they looked at Lexi and shook their heads as well. Jerking a thumb toward Lexi, Brooke explained, "At the very least, I'll want to make sure she doesn't get into trouble."

"Get into trouble?" Lexi screeched. "You're on HIS side?"

"I'm on your side; that's the point," Brooke sassed in her inimitable way. "Let's say you're right and Carter's a sweetheart gentleman who only wants to see you happy while simultaneously plying you with drugs and alcohol so he can fuck your pretty brains out. Or let's say Ben's right and Carter's trying to manipulate you into getting addicted to drugs and alcohol to the point where he can fuck your pretty brains out any time he wants while finding himself a new girlfriend as well. Either way, there's a horny bastard who clearly wants one thing, and even if you really, really LIKE letting Carter fuck your pretty brains out, as your friend it's my job to make sure you don't get in completely over your head, alright?"

My phone buzzed again. Again, I silenced it.

Lexi sighed, shaking her head and looking away. "Alright fine. Elyse is a warning at the very far end of the spectrum of what drugs do to people, and I'll remember that to make sure I don't go off the deep end, alright? Now can we PLEASE end this conversation and get ready for tonight's party?"

Faye, DJ, and Brooke looked at each other and shrugged. And then as one, all four girls turned and looked at me.

I held my hands up defensively. "All I can ask is that you girls do whatever you do with your eyes wide open, okay? Brooke, Deej, I don't have to tell you how much you both mean to me. Faye, Lexi, we're friends, sort of. I just don't want to see anything bad happen to any of you. I'm sorry if I come across as overbearing; it's not my intent to ruin your fun. It's just that if something bad ever happened to any of you, something bad that maybe I could have prevented, I'd never forgive myself."

"We know," DJ said, smiling at me. But then her smile faded and she sighed sadly. "Ben, I need you to promise me you'll be careful. Elyse is still in that house of yours, and I want to make sure YOU are going about things with open eyes. You have a good heart, and a chivalrous attitude that's rare nowadays. But while some people may find your hero mentality to be admirable, I see it as a vulnerability that unscrupulous people will use to take advantage of you. And I'm worried that Elyse is one of those."

I pursed my lips and nodded, replying, "I hear what you're saying, but in this case, I trust my instincts. Elyse is a victim here, and Carter is the predator. I'm not basing all this just off of what Elyse has told me. I've been there. I've been in Carter's 'Entertainment' room myself, and I do mean 'in' it. Not my proudest moment, but I need you to understand that I'm not completely in the dark about what goes on at one of Carter's parties."

The girls exchanged wary looks.

"Just promise me you'll be careful, okay?" I looked straight at Brooke and DJ. "For me?"

DJ took a deep breath and nodded. Brooke actually replied, "I promise."

"Good." I sighed and head-nodded toward the door. "I'll just get out of your way then; let you girls get dolled-up for your party. Thanks for listening."

The girls murmured, and I started walking away. But right as I got to the door, Lexi called from behind me, "Ben!"

I glanced back, one hand still on the doorknob. "Hmm?"

Lexi had stood up and taken two steps toward me. "Carter's not the bad guy you think he is. I want you to know that."

"For your sake," I sighed, "I hope you're right."

Frustrated, annoyed, and angry with myself for not doing a better job of convincing the girls that Carter was dangerous, I found myself sitting in my car without having started the engine. I realized that should any of the girls look outside, they'd see that I was still there. And not wanting to appear any MORE of a helicopter big brother, I figured I should start the engine and get into my self-recriminations somewhere else.

But before I could, I saw Brooke walk in front of the car and around to my driver's door, her arms crossed around her midsection. She was wearing an oversized zip-up jacket, with the sleeves extending past her wrists so that only her four fingers and the tip of her thumb peeked out as she gave me a small wave from the other side of the glass.

With a sigh, I lowered the window.

"You gonna be okay?" my little sister asked with obvious concern in her eyes.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. "I'll be okay when you come home safely. Or better yet, stop going over there entirely."

"We're not children anymore. We can handle ourselves."

"I hope so. For your sake, I really hope so. It's just ... okay, maybe you don't need to trust what Elyse told you guys. Maybe she's not being entirely truthful, and she has her own hidden agenda in all this. But I want you to trust ME, alright? I'm not talking from hearsay, I'm talking from experience. I'm not proud of the situation I got myself into, but one of the girls I had sex with two years ago is now dead, that's fact. She's dead because she overdosed on a drug Lexi's boyfriend gave her, that's fact too."

"Accidents happen."

"And some things aren't entirely accidental. Sometimes things happen because bad people put girls in bad situations. Meth is an addictive narcotic, and I really don't think Elyse is the only addict up there. She used to be Carter's girlfriend, and now look what's left of her. Carter had me fuck this other girl named Rebecca: she used to be Carter's girlfriend, too."

Brooke's eyes widened. "I've met a Rebecca up there."

I arched an eyebrow. "What's she like?"

"Nice, but ... quiet."

"Carter's plaything?"

Brooke shrugged. "She's just a girl."

"Maybe now. Maybe that's all she's useful for. I watched Carter threaten Elyse with cutting off her drugs if she didn't perform for him. If that's the way he treats his girlfriends, aren't you the least bit worried about that being Lexi's future as well?"

"Worried, yes."

"Then get her out of there. Get yourself out of there. Go inside and talk the girls into NOT going to his house anymore."

Brooke gave me a pained look. "There's no way I can do that, not tonight."

I balled up my hands in frustration and just managed to keep myself from bashing the steering wheel.

"Maybe you're just seeing the worst in him," Brooke reasoned. "Maybe your sense of protecting me and DJ is clouding your judgement. Maybe things aren't as dire or as bad as you really think."

Closing my eyes, I took deep, calming breaths and tried to at least think of things from Brooke's point of view. "Maybe you're right, but you've gotta admit that any house with plentiful weed, some crystal meth, and a bunch of guys willing to take advantage of girls under the influence is NOT the kind of place where you should let your guard down."

"True enough." Brooke sighed and rubbed her nose with the part of her sleeve covering her palm. Taking a deep breath, she stood up straight and said, "I can't promise you I can talk Lexi into breaking up with her boyfriend. I can't promise you we girls won't drink, do some drugs, and have a good time. But I CAN promise you that I'll keep my eyes open, that I'll consider everything you've said, and that I DO trust that your heart is in the right place, okay?"

I wasn't satisfied, but I felt better than before she'd come to the car to talk to me. "Okay..." I muttered.

"I love you, big brother." Brooke leaned in through the window and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I love you too, little one," I replied, rubbing my cheek against hers.

She backed away and gave me another small wave with just her fingers showing. "Take care."

I gave her a serious look. "No, YOU take care."

I turned the Mustang into my driveway, pulling in behind Andie's black Lexus ES in the front spot. Emotionally drained from that encounter at the girls' apartment, I remained in the driver's seat well after I turned off the ignition, my mind miles away as I pondered all the things that could happen tonight at Carter's "get-together". And I wondered if I should drop by unannounced just to make sure Brooke and DJ were alright.

I jerked in surprise away from the sudden banging on the driver's window to my left. Eyes wide, I turned to see Andie frantically slapping the glass with both hands, and I quickly grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. Jamie was right beside her, and she actually had to hop out of the way lest the door hit her.

"Ohmigawd! You're not picking up your phone! I've been FREAKING OUT!" Andie screeched.

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down." I gestured with both hands as well. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Sorry I didn't pick up. Was kinda busy."

"Ben! BEN!" Andie screeched, still freaking out despite my efforts.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It's Elyse!"

"What about her? What happened?"

"She's GONE!"

I blinked rapidly, a full beat of silence passing before I barked, "WHAT?"

The next thing I knew, I was storming into my house with Andie and Jamie both trailing behind me. They were the only two present; apparently all of the other Tri-Delts had better places to be on a Friday night. I went first to Elyse's bedroom and confirmed that she wasn't in there. And then the living room, and then upstairs to my own bedroom as well.

"I told you: she's GONE," Andie whimpered behind me. "And she ... she took something from in here. A box."

"A box?" I jerked upright, frowning. "A box from where?"

"I don't know! I don't remember seeing it before. I just saw it in her hands when she went down the stairs!"

Suddenly, I knew exactly which box Andie was talking about. I went straight to my sock drawer, pushing aside the socks themselves and shoving my hand to the left where I expected to hit the small Nike shoe box I kept there. It was the box filled with two thousand dollars in emergency cash. And of course, the box was gone.

"Shit," I muttered, spinning around. "When did she leave?"

Andie was blubbering, but Jamie found her voice to answer, "Twenty, thirty minutes ago? We called you a bunch of times."

"Why didn't you two stop her? That was the point of you being here, wasn't it?"

"We tried to talk to her. She wouldn't listen. I even tried to physically hold her here, but she hit me." Jamie raised her fingers to her face, where I now saw traces of a bruise forming on her cheek.

I groaned and stomped over to the window overlooking the street. Elyse was out there, flush with two grand in cash. Certainly that could buy her a few rocks to feed her addiction.

There was nothing I could do.

Elyse was gone.