Chapter Fifteen: New World

I have leukemia. Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

"Acute" means that it can progress quickly if not treated and could be fatal in a few months. "Myeloid" is just the type of cell it starts from. It's not very common in kids my age, usually in people 65 years or older. I'm terrified right now, words can't even describe how I'm feeling about all this. Jude still wasn't here and he wouldn't answer my calls, no one would tell me where he was either.

I couldn't sleep at night because I was up crying. Jordyn stayed with me, my dad wouldn't let Caleb stay. Jordyn's parents were okay with her missing school for the day because of everything going on with me. Caleb would be back after school, as for Jude I have no clue if he's going to show up. It was the afternoon, I basically slept all morning. When I opened my eyes I saw Jordyn just on her laptop.

"Hey, look who's up," she said as she saw me trying to sit up.

"Has Jude called?"

"No, but Caleb did, he asked how you were doing."

"Jordyn, can you please just tell me why Jude isn't here. I know that you know and I'm tired of everyone hiding things from the sick girl." I was just so frustrated that no one would tell me anything just because I have cancer now.

"He doesn't want to come. He's being stubborn. Caleb went to go talk to him, but he won't listen. He doesn't even know you have cancer and Caleb thinks you should be the one to tell him. You need to stop worrying about him. He's upset because he told you multiple times to go to the doctors and then this happened and he thinks it's because you didn't listen to him. You know how he is."

I do know how he is, but I hate it. He doesn't see how much I need my best friend right now. I have cancer, and I still can't even say it out loud. I haven't even decided on shaving my head or just letting it all fall off. I don't know if I'm going to wear a wig or a hat. This is all just happening too fast and I need my best friend here to help me. But he's not, and I need to accept that.

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I was allowed to leave a day later, but I had to start chemotherapy soon. I decided on just shaving off my hair before it started to fall out because it would have just depressed me more. I will wear a hat or a scarf and rock the look because I'm just going to embrace it. I'm going to fight it, I will not let it bring me down or tear me apart. I am stronger than that.

I heard a knock on the door so I got up off the couch and walked to answer it. It was Caleb, and I could not believe my eyes. He shaved off his gorgeous dirty blonde hair. I thought I was going to cry, I brought my hand to my mouth and held in my tears. This was by far the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

"Come here," he said so softly as he embraced me in a nice hug. His arms felt so warm against my lower back and he buried his head into my neck. He was so sweet, I was speechless.

I sniffled before breaking the hug, "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done, why did you do it? I mean you barely even know me."

"It's just hair Alyanna, it will grow back. I just want you to know that you aren't going through this alone. I'm going to be here for you the whole way through, I promise." He said while wiping my tears away and looking me dead in the eye. God, this guy is amazing. What did I do to deserve him?

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"Yeah, I am pretty great," he said making me chuckle as he embraced me in another hug.

He stayed to watch movies with me until Jordyn arrived. When he left I walked him to the door and embraced him in one more hug as he kissed my forehead and I could just melt right then and there at that moment.

I had invited Jordyn over because I was going to confront Jude, and I knew I was going to need a friend by my side. We walked and it took a lot out of me. Once we reached his house I told Jordyn to stay back as I went to go knock on his door. It only took a few seconds before he answered.

He analyzed me before saying anything. I was wearing a hat and my jacket was up to my shoulders so you couldn't really tell that I had no hair, it just looked like I had it up. He just stared at me with his smoldering eyes, not saying a word.

"Nice to see you too Jude," I gave him attitude.

"What do you want from me Alyanna?" He said crossing his arms.

"Why didn't you come? I laid in my bed waiting for your visit and to tell me everything was going to be alright," tears began to form, "did you not care about me?"

"Don't pull that bullshit with me, you know damn well that I care about you."

"Then why Jude!" I shouted with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I didn't want to know what was wrong, I was scared because I told you multiple times to go see a doctor but you didn't listen."

"So what?"

"So I would have felt like it was my fault like I could have tried harder to get you there or I could have just dragged you to a doctor," his eyes began to be filled with tears.

"That doesn't mean you don't show up to see if I'm okay."

"I'm sorry, but what's it matter now? You look fine so can't we just go back to normal and drop this?"

"I'm not okay Jude, and no we can't just drop this."

"What do you mean?"

I turned back to look at Jordyn and she gave me a nod, a nod to say that it's okay and I can reveal what is wrong. I turned to look back at Jude, I looked up and down before he broke the silence.

"Earth to Alyanna?" He said while waving his hand back in forth.

I took off my hat and looked him in the eyes. My face was streaming with tears, this is the first time I'm going to say it out loud. And I know that once I say it, it will become true. I want nothing more but for this to be a dream. His face was in shock and a tear came down his left cheek as he looked at me with piercing eyes.

I took a huge gulp and blinked, a few more tears came out.

"I have cancer."