Chapter 28: Midnight way home end

I saw. ...beautiful people there. One had a lovely, long hair, the other had a cute nose, one full lips, the other was so tiny and small and thus was adorable to look at against every one.

Our conversations were easy, our games were fun...we laughed a lot...those who smoked went on the balcony. ..and the rest of us thought of messing up the poker set up till they returned. ...

The two people left casually. ..

and following our cue three of us left. ...

and we took turns and turn all the way back to the bus stop.

At midnight, I found myself alone...at the quiet sidewalks of a usually quiet street, and as stood there waiting for bus, three double deck buses full of super drunk, loud and lousy undergraduates arrived and set a swarm of funkily dressed, loose foot teens in to town and they shouted their way to even louder parties behind the street, and I stood there and judged. like old people do-because I was an late boomer and an early adult, I've felt, acted and was a teen only for two years. I mused at their carefree attitudes, I envied their confidence to wear such bright , clothes.

The last bus was going to where I live. I got on in thanking God for not letting me spend the night standing by a bus station and judging college freshman as they had a time of their lives. Beer bottles rolled and clanked up stairs, which I sat in-of course, and some drunk boys with loud music got in halfway and laughed the rest of the way home.

Then it was morning. Then it was night...and here I am, writing to you about last Friday from a brand new Friday.

I think I'll go to the beach tonight as well...for the same reason I went for the hangouts last time. ...to watch fireworks with friends...

that I am, at the moment, running away from. ..because one of them. ..is mean and keeps. ..stomping on my sentences and ignoring my comments after asking for them...

It is in these childish moments that I can be such a petty little thing in an adult's body. ..

when my ego is wounded, and my nice assumptions about people has to be replaced by the truth of it and I see that...they're not as fancy as the fictional characters in my head that I wish them be.

I felt like I had to run way. ...from this feeling. ...from the loneliness which clamps on to me whenever I am with people.

People I should have relations with, classmates, friends, relatives.

I am now standing in a bus stop, standing next to the bus and waiting for the driver. That happens here, we wait for buses mostly, but sometimes we wait for drivers.

I. ...I feel bad.

I feel lost. ...and alone.

It is a perfectly good day tho. ..isn't it ?

I'll go home. ..and get neat 3 hours of working done.

Without all the hurt that comes with an antisocial social being.

I'll feel better. ....this day will pass, and someday I'll get higher marks than this mean guy and he will lose sleep over it.

Someday I will be really good with programming and all tech related things. ..and maybe get published first. ..and get great phd. ...and he will lose his peace over it.

Someday they'll look for me. ..and ask for help. or so I hope.

Such a gloomy chapter...so different from the feeling of last Friday. ...life is truly an enigma.