CHAPTER 32

I had never felt so weak and exhausted like I have been feeling lately. The house was always boring even with the number of maids everywhere, I was most tired of Marcus not showing any feelings toward me.

We were kissing, smooching, and sometimes even napping on the bed together so I could get to sleep but that wasn't what I wanted. Name me selfish or insensitive, I just want us to be more than just that.

I was always playing with sunshine and sometimes even with the maid just to kill time but that wasn't just enough. I was already thirteen weeks pregnant and everything was still the same. He was always coming back home with a baby cloth in his hand or a gift for me.

I have been having a slight nightmare of Noah ever since my stomach began to show. It was always him telling me about how I had betrayed him and stayed with Marcus. I hardly have such a dream when Marcus is holding me tight in his arms.

I had waited for Marcus today and had drifted to sleep when the same nightmare had happened again but this time it was worse because Noah had collected back his baby. I woke to total darkness as I kept searching around for Marcus but he wasn't close by, I was shivering because it was impossible since Noah was dead.

I walked out of my room and searched for him in his room but he wasn't there.

The house was too big and I was too stressed to check everywhere for him. I was furious that he wasn't with me but I knew I had to get used to the fact that he wouldn't always be with me, I spun to go to my room when a strong hand swiveled me around making me scream.

Before I could scream he had held my mouth shushing me. "What are you doing awake?" I heard Marcus' voice quietly close to my ear. "I went to get some water, " I tried to defend but he nodded without arguing.

He held my hands and led me inside his room. His bed was larger than mine and smelt of his cologne, he released my hands and dragged me closer to him before putting his hands on my back to bring me closer to him.

He kept rocking my back gently. "You know you can tell me anything right?" he asked as he pulled away and ascended his bed. He looked at me before patting the side for me to join in, I walked to the other side then picked up the blanket a little before getting on the bed.

He stared at me before hugging me tightly. "How is my baby girl doing?" he asked, touching my belly. "Uhmm I think she is okay," I muttered quietly.

"Marcus, can I speak to you?“ I asked, turning to stare at him. "Yeah, go ahead," he said, hugging me closer. "I have dreams of Noah chasing me and the last one ended up bad because he collected baby Jessy," I mumbled feeling myself go sweaty again.

"Shhh shhh. It's going to be okay, I'm here and if you don't see me around you can use my room," he said, hugging me tighter but I was enjoying the comfort and wouldn't complain.

MARCUS POV

I gently stepped out of the bed to smoke a little. The office had given me more stress than I had imagined, Jane had been on my mind too.

She was always having dreams where she called Noah's name. He was dead but still in her heart. I was surprised at how unbearable that felt and the hurt it gave to my heart.

The cold outside was getting outrageous as the trees kept making an awful sound. I decided to walk inside but found Jane awake in the corridor, I kept looking at her from a distance and I could notice the tears on her face and how puffy her eyes were.

She was about to leave when I strode behind her and touched her shoulder. She almost screamed but I held her mouth tight so it didn't echo. "What are you doing awake?" I asked, pretending not to act like I knew why she was up. "I went to get some water," she said, making me nod my head.

I had held her and dragged her to the room where she had told me about her dream with Noah. I wanted to tell her that she might be hallucinating since it was his baby but I didn't want to hurt her.

I could feel her gashes on my chest. I want to confront her more than this but it was difficult for me because I hated it when she had tears on her face.

I stared at her as sleep draped the two of us into a deep slumber.

The next morning I woke up to notice that she wasn't in bed. I walked down the stairs to notice her helping the maid to prepare some breakfast. The instant our eyes met she flashed me a huge grin, I returned it with a smile.

I was pleased that she was doing okay and everything was going in place even if I couldn't tell her how I felt yet. Telling her how I felt in her condition wasn't the right thing, I know I want her closer than ever! I wanted her to be mine and mine alone but it just wasn't possible which hurt more than anything.

I chose to run inside the mansion a bit to diminish everything I was feeling but it wasn't helping at all because it only deepens the situation.