I will rest and laugh today

Is there a phrase or word I should use?

To describe the emotions and feelings that I experience.

Eardich is still under close observation and care. Throughout the course of time, a feeling of dread begins to engulf me and every waking second.

It was heartbreaking to see the doctors stare at me after learning how serious his condition was, and what I did to him when I blanked.

As the days pass, I've had water and natural fruits but nothing more than that, anything more leaves me feeling weak and dizzy. They all worry about me.

There is no reason for it.

The monster that I am, I have the power to cause a man like Eardich to live another day in weakness and pain...

After the doctors have cleared him, Arthur has decided to leave him with some nurses and caregivers to recover at home once he is well enough.

“Tell Luna that I'm all right and that I'm sorry for leaving her defenseless even though I am well experienced. To have my ass handed to me like this by Luna shows that you have taught her well. Yet, I fear her traumas are at the root of what has come. She might become a formidable warrior if she can learn to heal from it. Suppose a war were to break out and her trauma kicks in, she may not distinguish between her enemies and allies." You wouldn't know that I sneaked into the medial wing at night and saw Eardich and Arthur conversing.

Although I knew I had to find out what had happened that day, they all tried to distract me from realizing and understanding what I had done, almost as if they were scared.

Usually, ordinary people would consider it an incredible achievement to be able not only to trap but also to strangle a person to utter submission.

The first prince Eerel's capabilities have made me nothing but a child with a toy sword compared to his skills that won him the title of the red knight during the Bramian civil war of approximately eight years ago.

It was fought against rebels who didn't like the idea of one man ruling all and wanted a system like that on the Juvele continent, which consists of Ministers voted by the people and an Emperor who oversees the nation collectively.

There is no way to tell whether Eerell sneaked into the battle or if the Emperor wanted to 'test out' the fourteen-year-old at the time.

It has been a few days since we last spoke.

If you could say that a slight shift in his lips and slow walks can be considered 'back on his feet,' then let's do that.

………..

Since then I haven't been able to get any details about what happened that day from them or what Eardwich's medical condition was that required so much recuperation.

I have grown to accept them, avoiding the subject almost out of habit.

My training was stepped up after Arthur banned sparring. The training schedule and format are exactly those of the imperial knights.

Arthur has accompanied me into the forest, where dangerous monsters like a Nightwing dragon and Blimparus demons lurk. Although my training had prepared me to deal with horrors that even expert Imperial knights could not defeat, the type of monsters I faced would have been far easier for me to kill when confronted with actual bloodshed and tears.

In an experiment, I discovered eating monster meat has a number of health benefits. Though it might not be everyone's cup of tea due to its smell and taste.

My culinary experiments gained Arthur and Joslyn's interest when they ate them with me. While Joslyn did end up getting the runs, Arthur attempted to eat some intestines after hearing that some east nations loved to consume them.

He posted it in light of that and was poisoned lightly, but not fatally.

"Happy Birthday princess. The ceremony starts in a few hours, so let's get you ready. Joslyn and I will take good care of you. I will turn you into an angel that has descended upon us." Britts slowly took the pen from me. Writing in my diary feels like therapy: I can write anything that I want.

My diary felt like a friend in a time when I was returning to the ground even with only one reader. I picture it like those close friends in books that share secrets with each other and show everyone a whole side of them they don't tell anyone else.

These few hours were stressful, as I had no idea how much work was needed.

In order to help me shine on my birthday, we used beauty rituals from various nations. It is known in one Nation that the queen bathes in milk to achieve supple, glowing skin.

They even put some creams and oil on my hair, Joslyn had the bright idea to make a silver rod hot enough to make natural-looking curly hair, which did end up having to go through a variety of experimental hair, Britta was adamant that we go through testing and even volunteered to test it out o her hair, lucky for Joslyn the curls gave a fresh pure women look to Britta.

It was even in my mind to dress her up in one of my newer clothes at the party to see if she would catch a man's attention. If not for the oath that she would take a man once I have safely given birth to a child, I would bring Joslyn.

While we were preparing my Undergarments, there was a distinct knock on the door followed by a, “Your Highness, Princess Luna. May I enter your room.” It was a sweet woman's voice, one that felt like the sweet honey of a wife coddling her husband out of his anger. “I will have to ask your identity, madam,” I answered as it wasn’t normal for a princess to invite anyone simply into her personal room.

"I greet the star of the empire, and it is both an honor and a great responsibility for me to prepare the Princess at the personal request of the Emperor. My best workers and decorations accompany me. Would the Princess be familiar with the Prestigious Primrose Parlor? The Primrose Parlour is owned and operated by me, Madam Agentine.

"That is great news, Madam Agentine; however, I must ask for your letter of stamp since it is a mandatory part of our custom."

“Yes, I agree Princess. I must apologize for our misplacement because my personal attendant Mary has gone looking for it. You can ask Duke Velench for proof, no worries. At the time, he was our witness." I heard soft giggles that I overlooked if I hadn't known Duke Vilanch was a member of the Emperor faction. There was a possibility that I might be ruined by the Prestigious Primrose Parlour if they gained access to my room. They might try to ruin my debutante's success.

Traditionally, the Emperor attends the debutante ball of his or her children personally, which serves as an official coronation ceremony. Upon receiving the title of prince or princess, they will be given a few gifts that officiate their lineage and allow them to join the political and cultural circles.

“The entrance is closed for you, Madam Agentine, please accept my apologies. Even so, because you are important guests, Britta will show you to the guest room, where there will be refreshments for you and your team. Joslyn will be on call in case there is anything else to be done. Arthur will assist you in returning to your carriages at departure time. Wishing you a wonderful day, Madame Agentine. I urge you to impair your personal attendant, such situations won't be tolerated by the Empress. You are welcome to leave.”

After he gave me a few claps, Joslyn went on to look through the peephole and saw how enraged Madam was, and could not stop laughing about the way she was mistreating her pink fluffy fan.

Some maids heard the Madam was dragging her way to the carriages and accidentally tripped her by stomping so hard that her heels broke. She almost fell flat on her face as a result.