By the time he dropped me off at the hospital entrance,the silence had stretched into five long minutes.I climbed out of the truck and mumbled“thanks”without looking at him.He didn’t say anything as I closed the door and turned to go into the hospital.
I had no idea what was wrong with me,but I was really mixed up.How could I feel such an intense physical reaction to my best friend’s touch while my mom was lying in a hospital bed?Finding out Jeff was in love with some girl had surprised me,but it was also pissing me off.I wanted to fall in love,too.I wanted to tell him I found someone who loved me,someone who understood me,and that it was another guy.Not a girl.A guy.But I was a coward and couldn’t tell him.After last night,he probably thinks I’m a freak and our friendship is already over.I’ve lost him.My best friend gone.Before I even found the courage to tell him the truth.I was such a fucking coward.