Adopted as a baby, Giles Frobisher has grown up with every privilege. Encouraged by his best friend—and secret crush—Oz to seek out his birth mother, he’s appalled to discover she’s loud, lower-class, and insists on calling him Wayne!<br><br>Giles’ snobbier-than-thou, none-too-faithful boyfriend Hugh is equally horrified, and Oz, who’s always been secretive about his own family, starts acting very strangely.<br><br>It seems Giles is about to learn that good breeding has nothing to do with who your parents are!

Good Breeding

Oz was in the conservatory again when Giles got home. He seemed to have forsaken the Insanely Bad Elf in favour of one of Mummy’s bottles of Stoli. Giles slumped down beside him, and mutely held out his hand for the bottle of vodka.


“Hugh dumped me,” he said, after a long swallow and a short coughing fit.


“Bastard. I’ll scratch ‘Upper Class Twat of the Year’ into the side of his Merc with my keys, how about that?” Oz suggested.


Giles groaned, and took another swig from the bottle of vodka. “Wasn’t it ‘Twit’, anyway? In the Monty Python sketch, I mean?”


“Oh, who cares. I think Hugh’s more of a twat than a twit, don’t you?”


Giles didn’t answer. Was Hugh really a… what Oz had said? Had Giles just wasted nearly two years of his life on… on… a front bottom? And why was he drinking vodka, anyway? He looked around the conservatory, whose walls kept tilting drunkenly. Ha. Stupid walls. Couldn’t hold their drink… “Where’s my whisky?”


Chapter 6