Chapter 84

“Well, but, so what are you saying? ‘It was fun, I’ll give you a call some time’?”

“Don’t say it like that. It wasfun. I willgive you a call sometime!” He was teasing me, and I gave him a smile, in spite of myself. “Todd, you’re gay, you’ve got a crush on me, you want a boyfriend.”

“I want you!”

“I know you do. But try and understand, it’s not that simple with me. We can’t just be boyfriends. I’m supposed to be getting married, I’ve got a son to think about. I’m committed. Even if I wanted to…”

“Do you want to?”

He sighed and sat quiet for a few moments. I didn’t push him; rather, I waited for him. He lit yet another cigarette, a habit which was suddenly seeming less attractive. “Do you want an honest answer to that question?” he finally asked me.

“I think so.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know if that’s what I want. If I was ever going to want it, I’d want it with you. But I just don’t know.”