Chapter 9

“I don’t know. He knows being gay isn’t easy, but at the same time he sees that we have the best of what it can be. He needs more time.”

I sighed. I’d convinced his grandmother Brad was safe with us—and now here he was in the midst of determining his sexual orientation in the home of two men who were gay and happy to be so. Yet, why did I feel it so awful that he might be gay? Why was I afraid to let him be gay? I had to admit the pain of being homosexual I’d felt growing up was still there. I’d lived both lives and knew that, while I could never deny the wonder of my love for Patti and my children, my true nature was of a man who loved men: their bodies, their personalities, their mystique. I wanted Brad to realize who he was. I didn’t want him to decide to be something he wasn’t, but somehow I was afraid for him to be gay. Hadn’t my life been completed when I found Andy? Maybe I had some issues that were yet to be resolved.