Chapter 42

“Listen, Dick, I’m in the middle of something here…God—okay, yes, you’re right. Okay. Andy is giving me a blowjob, if you must know, and I would like to get the most out of it…Okay, yes, damn it. You have your Algernon. Goodbye.”

No sooner had I hung up when my balls contracted and Andy was treated to his second serving of the night. Not something he got to enjoy often, being stuck with a senior citizen for a partner.

He gave me a minute to catch my breath before he said, “Did you agree to take the part?”

“Ah! ‘That is clearly a metaphysical speculation, and like most metaphysical speculations has very little reference at all to the actual facts of real life, as we know them,’” I said, quoting a line from the play. “Yes, I’m going to do the part. Now fuck me.”

* * * *

“God, I hate cucumber sandwiches,” I said to Dick during a rehearsal. “Why the hell do you have to be so exact? Can’t we have bologna? The audience would never know.”