Chapter 2

Jeff and I came to an agreement with Jeremiah.Every morning I’d spend time with Jeremiah,and since I worked second shift,I would drop him off at Jeff’s on my way to work.The schedule was almost like before we broke up,except Jeremiah would be at different houses…and he’d be presented with Daddy’s mistress.We’d officially started the divorce process with a separation underway,and for the most part I was just fine with that.

I got into a routine at the new house.I’d wake up whenever Jeremiah did,throw up,play with the kids or do some chores or one of my exercise DVDs,get Jeremiah ready,take him to Jeff’s place,and go to work.On my way home I picked up Jeremiah,put him to bed,and either lie awake in bed or worked on a new story late into the night.

One morning in late March,Nia brought up something that I hadn’t even thought about.

“You should try dating again,”she said as we cleaned up the kitchen.“Find someone who will treat you right.”

“I was married for five years and dated Jeff two years before that.I don’t know how to date anymore!But maybe someday I’ll give it a try.

“Right now I have a new idea to plan for anyway.The Jamestown Summer Festival lets people pay for booths and sell whatever they want.I’m going to sell my books there this year.”

“What a—Nate put that penny in your bank,not in your mouth—what a great idea!”

“Booth rent is$250,but I think it’s a good investment.”

“Look at you.You’re just glowing with happiness.You’re like a whole new person.”

“I feel better than I have in a long time.I think it’s because I’m not in pain anymore.I feel like I’m coming back to life.”

My new books came in,and I passed them out to those at work who had bought one—around fifty people.One co-worker,Ethan,stood out to me above the rest.He worked in a different department than I did,but I’d always admired him from afar.He was tall,with bright blond hair,ocean blue eyes,and I could tell he worked out.He was also recently divorced.He’d bought all of my books,too.I decided to write him a special message in his book,saying I had seen him overcome struggles and I was proud of him.

“Rihanna,are you done passing out books?”Jerod said.

“Yeah,I’ll get to work.”

Jerod was a couple years younger than me,but had worked for the company longer than I had.He was good-looking,too,with dark brown eyes,brown skin,and shaved black hair.He was happily engaged,and had a new baby girl.He’d always been more of a friend to me than a love interest.Nia’s words about dating again came to mind.But just like in my earlier years,I reminded myself that engaged or married men and women were off-limits.Two

Jeff and I alternated weekends with Jeremiah.One weekend while Jeremiah was at Jeff’s,I decided to drink for the first time in a year.After a few shots of Bicardi that I found in the fridge,I took several selfies and posted them on all the social media apps I could think of.Then I got a great idea.Every time I saw Ethan,he seemed to avoid me,even when I went out of my way to say hi.I’d had his phone number for a while for business reasons,but had never used it.Now I texted him to ask what he was doing and waited breathlessly,but he never responded.

It was time to go old school.I would write him a letter and finally find out his feelings for me once and for all.It didn’t take me long to get the words on paper,taking a couple more shots of rum for luck.Now I just had to wait.When Monday came,I watched both Jeremiah and Nate in the morning until Andre got back from his first-shift job,then drove Jeremiah to Jeff’s.

“I’ll see you later,Jeremiah,”I said as I unbuckled him from the car seat.

“Oh,great,I have to stay here with Sara,”he said,using a scornful tone I’d never heard from him before.I didn’t know whether to laugh or buckle Jeremiah back in and speed away.But Jeff waited at the front door.

We never spoke.

At work,I barely paid attention to my paperwork.Finally,when it was time for my break,I walked into the next room and found Ethan talking to three other co-workers,all guys.

This was the perfect opportunity.

“Hi,”I said.“Did I tell you guys about the booth I got for the Summer Festival?”

“Yeah,”Ethan said.“I think it’s really cool.”

I must have given him a weird look,because he took a step back.

“I think Rihanna has the hots for you after what she wrote in your book,”one of Ethan’s buddies said telepathically.

“Yeah,but she shouldn’t even like me,”he thought.

“Why?”the rest of us asked.

“She’s not even really divorced yet.”

I pushed away the thoughts.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”I asked Ethan.

“Okay.”He walked away from the co-workers and stopped.The rest of the computer-laden room was empty,because the workers in this department were on a break too.

“Well,I’ve been trying to talk to you,but never have the chance.I even wrote down what I wanted to say.Do you want to take our break together so I can tell you,or just give you what I wrote down?”

“Uh,whatever you want.”

I thought about what I wanted to do:wait for him to go on break,or feel the instant gratification of giving him the letter.

“Give him the letter,give him the letter!”my mind chanted.

“All right,here you go.”I slapped the note into his outstretched hand.For a split second we were engaged in a weird sort of handshake,and I pulled away.Ethan looked bemused.

I sped-walked outside to continue my break,and celebrated with a cigarette.I did it!The rest of the day was a high like no other.I knew Ethan would give me a positive response.I barely slept that night.

The next day,I once again cornered Ethan on his break.

“How’s it going?”I asked.

His face reddened.“Let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Oh,shit!”I said in excitement.I knew this would be good.We walked into the supply room

“Rihanna,”he said softly.“I’m sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression,but I just got divorced,too,and I’m not ready to date.I just don’t think it’s a good idea for either one of us to date yet.”

“Well,I wasn’t expecting that.”Strangely,I didn’t feel crushed or embarrassed.“I’m glad you were honest,though.”

He smiled.“I do think highly of you,so I thought you deserved the truth.”

As we walked out of the supply room,I felt unusually happy.It didn’t matter that Ethan had turned me down.He’d hinted that after both of us had recovered from our divorces that we might date,hadn’t he?I smiled.This wasn’t over yet.

The rest of the day at work was nothing short of euphoric.I got along with Rylee and Destiny very well.They both liked me.In fact,everyone in the whole company liked me.I did a great job,and they especially admired my status as an author.