Jack is thirty-five and single once again. He is not, as he as quick to point out, going through a midlife crisis. Still, it would be nice to have a partner.<br><br>So he sets out on an adventure to find the one-time love of his life, Bing, a man he hasn't set eyes on in more than fifteen years, a man who has seemingly vanished off the face of the planet. With the help of his family and friends -- plus the family dog and, of all people, his high school bully -- he goes searching for Bing, only to unearth an ages-old mystery that puts them all in grave danger.<br><br>In this hysterically funny tale of romance and self-discovery, the question remains right up to the surprise ending: can we return to our past in order to create better our future?

Midlife Crisis

I reached the door. I stood on wobbly legs. I wondered if it was possible to have a heart attack at thirty-five. That seemed to me to be the age people started having them. I saw my hand rise to knock on the door. It appeared to be moving on its own, on autopilot, like it saw a door and knew just what to do.


I knocked. I waited. I thought I might have passed out, but realized I was still standing, so passing out seemed highly unlikely.


“Hello,” I shouted into the wood. “I’m lost. Can you help?” So yes, at least I was still following the script I’d come up with. Though I had suddenly forgotten my own name. Was it Mack? Mack sounded good. Virile. Virile is a good thing to be, I reasoned, when you’re alone, out in the middle of nowhere, standing outside a mobster’s house/hovel/shack.


I knocked again. No one answered. I banged. Same result. My hand went on autopilot again. This time it tried the knob. Bad hand, bad. The door gave, slowly creaking open.


Chapter 34