Jack is thirty-five and single once again. He is not, as he as quick to point out, going through a midlife crisis. Still, it would be nice to have a partner.<br><br>So he sets out on an adventure to find the one-time love of his life, Bing, a man he hasn't set eyes on in more than fifteen years, a man who has seemingly vanished off the face of the planet. With the help of his family and friends -- plus the family dog and, of all people, his high school bully -- he goes searching for Bing, only to unearth an ages-old mystery that puts them all in grave danger.<br><br>In this hysterically funny tale of romance and self-discovery, the question remains right up to the surprise ending: can we return to our past in order to create better our future?

Midlife Crisis

“Get this fucking dog off of me!” shouted Carl as he fell to the carpet, Chompers shaking his muzzle as if the man’s leg was a chew toy.


I stared into Bing’s eyes of green. “You shot me,” he coughed out.


I was breathing hard. “I didn’t mean to.”


He blinked. He didn’t unblink. I hopped up. “I’m okay,” I yelled to my parents. “Call 911.” I pointed my gun at Carl. “Chompers, off!” Chompers offed. Carl grabbed his leg in anguish. “You killed your wife, asshole; we’re not gonna be next.”


He stared up at me. The dude looked pissed. “I didn’t kill Rosemary,” he said. “I loved my wife. She was a crazy bitch, but I loved her.”


“Who killed her then?” I asked, panting as I did so―me and Chompers both. Seems the morning had taken a lot out of both of us.


“She committed suicide,” he said, starting to stand up. I waved the gun at him. He stayed put. Thank God.


Chapter 63