Chapter 3

I woke up when something rough assaulted my left eye. Opening the right one, I looked directly into a cat’s face. Well the side of it. I had to push its purring body off my chest so I could open my other eye, breathe, and get up. The second cat waited until I stood up and then happily twined around my ankles, trying to kill me. After they followed me into the bathroom and watched me pee, I decided to carry them both downstairs so I wouldn’t trip and lie there until the removal people came and took me to Homer’s. Of course I almost fell anyway when I stepped on—something—presumably cat barf. I decided that when I compared the bottom of my foot to what I saw on the living room carpet. I was ready to laugh my ass off because the cats had not had access to mygarage.