Chapter 2

“Don’t!”

“Don’t what?” Dan asked, spinning around to look at the man he thought had loved him.

“Don’t leave like this. Give me a chance to explain.”

“You had your chance. You could have believed me and stuck up for me. I need…No, I neededyou to. Would it have been so hard for you to say, ‘Yes, Dan, I’ll defend you.’? ‘I’ll be your lawyer and we’ll beat this asshole and bring him down.’?” Dan shook his head in disgust, ignoring the pain that was eating at him. “Apparently, your precious reputation is more important than I am. Than believing in me is.” He strode to the door, yanking it open. “Maybe we’ll meet again someday—but not if I have anything to say about it. It was fun while it lasted, Paul, but now it’s over. Us. My life. All of it.”

The last thing he heard before he slammed the door behind him was Paul’s pleading, “Dan, don’t do this.”

Forty-five minutes later, at their apartment, Dan had packed up what he wanted to take with him, including some items Paul didn’t know he owned. He stared at the three suitcases before snapping them closed. Damned all, when it comes down to it. Ten years a cop. Five years with…him. And this is all I have to show for it.

The pain of betrayal was sinking in deeper with every hour that passed. The lieutenant believing Pichot’s lies. Paul believing he was capable of doing what Pichot had said.

“Lover?” Dan snarled angrily. “Long term bed partner is more like it apparently, as far as Paul was concerned. If you love someone…”

He’d thought that’s where they were at. Two men who loved each other with all their hearts. They’d made plans for their future together. A house, maybe a dog or a cat, or both. Vacations spent traveling—something they’d never done because they never seemed to have the time. As much my fault as his since I spent half my time doing undercover work, but still…

Dan picked up the bags, carried them to the apartment door and looked around at what he was leaving behind. My life as I knew it. Time for a new one. Somewhere where…He almost chuckled. Where no one knows my name, to paraphrase. A new life. A new me. And no one in my life butme. Love…sucks. Love…betrays. Love…is more pain than one person should have to endure.

* * * *

Dan left New Orleans the same night he’d packed up his things, driving out of the city—and then the state—in his old Volvo hatchback. When he pulled away from the apartment building he thought morosely, This carhas been more loyal than any man I’ve ever met, up to and definitely including Paul.

While he drove north, staying on I-55, he began thinking about what his future had in store for him. He was dead certain it didn’t include law enforcement anymore. Paul had been right about one thing; Dan used every dirty trick in the book to bring down the people he went after. ‘What’s good for the goose…’ had been his motto and he stuck by it until the end.

Then Pichot turned the tables on me. I suppose it was inevitable it would happen sometime, but Lieutenant Barker could have had my back. He could have turned it over to IA and let them make the call. He smiled grimly. Maybe he would have, if I’d kept my damned mouth shut.

He pulled into Jackson, Mississippi three hours after leaving New Orleans and decided to find dinner and a motel. Not that he was hungry but he was smart enough to know he’d better eat something, since breakfast was a distant memory and lunch hadn’t happened.

He found a cheap motel on the north side of the city, checked in, then went in search of the restaurant the desk clerk had recommended. It turned out to be a combo bar and family diner but at least it was fairly empty. That suited Dan just fine. He wasn’t in the mood for noisy kids or rowdy drunks. After ordering meatloaf, which he figured was safe, and a beer, he leaned back, staring out of the window at the passing traffic.

So where to? Keep heading north? Taking out his phone, intending on bringing up Google Maps, he noticed he had two messages, both of them from Paul. Without listening to them, he pressed ‘delete’. Once he had the map site open, he traced I-55 to see where it went. Memphis? St. Louis? Chicago? Chicago might not be bad. Easy enough to get lost there and start a new life. Then again, I might be better off going west. He checked the map again. Dallas? No fucking way. Albuquerque? Maybe. Or…head to the mountains. Buy me a little cabin. He laughed at that idea. Still, heading toward Colorado or Wyoming maybe wouldn’t be such a bad idea at that.