Life's not easy when your mum's nuts, your uncle is becoming your aunt, and one of your crushes could -- and probably would -- break your face if he found out how you felt about him. That's Tab's life, though, malevolent gods and all. His text-flirting with Demi, the brother of his best friend, is going nowhere: Demi already has a boyfriend and anyway, who dates their best friend's twin? But then, the pining after Nick is going nowhere either, because Nick probably likes gay-bashing on Friday nights for fun. He's gorgeous, but he's dangerous, and Tab knows better than that. So what's a bit of harmless flirting, when one is taken and the other is straight? It's just a bit of fun. That is until Demi is suddenly single, and Nick is not looking as straight and scary as he was before.

The Suicidal Peanut

Tab smoothed out the sketch as Nick disappeared into the changing rooms, and reached for the green pen.


Screw what Uncle Eddie said. He was totally, totally in love.


With a gorgeous, faux-Italian guy called Nick. 3


“Because,” Tab fumbled, staring at the loops and whorls of the statuette, “it’s not just one being, is it? It’s, um, it’s two beings. Only they’re joined as one because, um…um, the idea is that people together are more powerful than people apart. That love is more powerful than…um, I don’t know, than like magnetism for joining stuff up. For good.”


The God of Totally Winging It eyed the sculpture sceptically…then nodded. One of Tab’s few benefactors. “Very good,” the lecturer smiled. “Does anyone have a rebuttal for that approach?”


Tab couldn’t care less, and dropped his gaze back to his pad. He’d offer up a sacrifice to the God of Totally Winging It when he got home. For now, he had ideas to get on the paper.


Chapter 7