Life's not easy when your mum's nuts, your uncle is becoming your aunt, and one of your crushes could -- and probably would -- break your face if he found out how you felt about him. That's Tab's life, though, malevolent gods and all. His text-flirting with Demi, the brother of his best friend, is going nowhere: Demi already has a boyfriend and anyway, who dates their best friend's twin? But then, the pining after Nick is going nowhere either, because Nick probably likes gay-bashing on Friday nights for fun. He's gorgeous, but he's dangerous, and Tab knows better than that. So what's a bit of harmless flirting, when one is taken and the other is straight? It's just a bit of fun. That is until Demi is suddenly single, and Nick is not looking as straight and scary as he was before.

The Suicidal Peanut

The till snapped shut on Tab’s index finger, and he didn’t feel a thing. He went absolutely white, the colour running out of his face and hiding somewhere around his ankles. There was a roaring in his ears like the latest NASA shuttle going up for some serious Moon time. He wanted to faint, or be sick, or just plain die, because a) it would actually be less embarrassing than this, and b) now Nick was going to beat him up. For defs. He even still had his gloves slung over his shoulder, ready for the putting on and the beating and the killing Tab stone dead behind this desk


Maybe if he screamed really, really loudly, Uncle Eddie would get there before Nick could murder him, and he’d only have to spend a few months in hospital eating through a straw and wishing there were some male nurses…


Chapter 48