Chapter 1

The sounds of night insects and the occasional bark of a dog filled the late summer twilight. Ward Cartwright sat in his truck staring at a small Cape Cod-style house with it’s big covered front porch a few doors down from where he was parked. It’d been ten years since he’d seen this house. The last time he’d been there was a summer night much like this one. It was also the last time he’d seen his best friend, Tyler Hughes.

That night, in the middle of the summer after their high school graduation, Ward’s world had come crashing down. Tyler had told Ward he had asked Tiffany to marry him.

“But I don’t understand, what about us?” Ward had asked Tyler. “What about how we feel about one another? You told me you loved me.”

“I do,” Tyler had responded, obviously struggling to say what he felt he had to. “But this is a small town. Lots of kids from our class will be getting married. If we don’t, people will get suspicious. Do you want that?”

“No I don’t. But we were gonna leave Summerville. Say we were going to college. We were going to the city where no one knows us or cares what we are, so we could be together.”

“I can’t. You know I’m an only child. The mill has been in the family since Pop’s grandfather. Pop is expecting me to take over someday. Our leaving together, that was just a pipe dream.”

“For me it wasn’t,” Ward said, trying to keep the anger from showing. “For me it was a true, for real plan.”

“But ain’t you gonna take over the farm when your dad retires?”

“No. My brother Joe is more into the farm than I am.”

“Does your dad know that…that you’re not interested in farming?”

“No,” Ward admitted. “He has this idea that me and Joe’ll work the farm together when the time comes.”

“There, you see. Neither of us is free to leave. And if we stay and don’t get married and settle down, people’ll think we’re…well…you know.”

“Gay, Tyler, gay. You can say it. It won’t bite you.” Ward said, feeling desperate. “Thatiswhat we are.”

Tyler had always had an aversion to identifying himself as anything but straight, despite the relationship he and Ward shared.

“No we’re not!” Tyler said forcefully.

Ward looked Tyler straight in the eye. “Ty, do you really love Tiffany?”

“Yes, I do…I think I do. We’ve been dating for two years.”

“Yeah, just like I’ve been dating Emme Lou, so people wouldn’t suspect. The star quarterback and his best receiver, best friends, never had a date, but always hanging out together. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on! We felt we had to date. But I don’t understand why you feel you have to get married?” Ward looked at Tyler questioningly.

Tyler just stared at the ground. The two sat without speaking for a long time. After a while Ward asked, “If you get married, are you still gonna wanna see me…like always?”

Tyler didn’t turn to look at Ward. He just kept staring at his feet. “I don’t think it’d be right. Tiffany’s very religious,” he finally said softly.

Ward didn’t know what to say. Tyler had come to be Ward’s world. When they were in seventh grade, a group of guys were sleeping over in a tent in Tyler’s backyard. James Beecher, who lived next door to Tyler, had produced a porn magazine he’d pilfered from his father’s stash. They’d discovered the joys of group masturbation that night.

Two years later in Tyler’s bedroom, Ward admitted men turned him on more than women, and Tyler surprised Ward by confessing he’d wanted to kiss Ward for a long, long time.

By the middle of their junior year they had professed their love for one another. In spring, just before graduation, they had made love and lay together, planning how they would escape their small town to go somewhere they could be free to live together.

Then Tyler dropped his bombshell about marrying Tiffany.

Tyler broke the silence. He glanced at his friend with an uncertain smile. “I want you to be my best man.”

Ward looked at him. “Are you kidding me? You can’t be serious!”

Tyler looked anxiously at Ward and nodded. “Yeah, I am. It would make Tiffany and me really happy if you would.”

“Goodbye, Tyler,” Ward said, his anger rising. He got up off the porch and walked out of Tyler’s life. He refused to talk to either Tyler or Tiffany who both called him regularly, trying to persuade him to reconsider and be in their wedding.