Chapter 7

Chad had been the one into toys. He used to like bullet vibrators—he carried one in his pocket at all times, it looked like a small silver pill case but when he turned it on, it hummed with a tinny sound that made me wonder why no one else heard it. With one hand in his pocket, he used to thumb on the vibrator and press it against the front of his underwear, usually while waiting in line at the store, or driving, or watching TV.

I always knew when he was using it—the sound gave him away, and he’d get a dreamy look on his face with his hand shoved deep in his pocket. Just thinking of his silly grin made my heart ache. I couldn’t imagine sitting in a room full of gay couples giggling over similar toys. To Barry, I said again, “No way.”