Chapter 5

“Do you recall some statues from your adventures?”

After some thought, Felix said, “I think, maybe. Were they all green and cruddy looking?”

Garda Redmond stopped writing, tucked her pen behind her ear, and crossed her arms. “Cruddy? I’d call it a lovely patina on some quite old statues.”

Felix nodded and decided remaining silent was his best option.

“And that patina will be ruined because the statue of the young woman dancing with her partner? It now boasts a rather large willy scrawled across her back end in indelible pen.”

“Oh.”

“Lucky for you, she can be cleaned. She’ll just have a shiny copper backside until the elements do their work. Need I tell you how little the citizenry of Lisdoonvarna will appreciate a statue of a young woman with a shiny copper backside?”

“No, sir. Madam. Guard lady.” Felix’s vision shimmered around the edges with tears he hoped would not spill over.