Hubert knows he brings shame on himself and on the Lord by being a queer -- his grandad and the pastor of his evangelical church tell him as much all the time. So when he dies in a freak accident, he's as delighted as he is surprised to waltz right through the Pearly Gates, no questions asked. He even gets a beautiful angel named Bartholomew as his very own guide to the Afterlife.<br><br>But when the angel makes brazen overtures, Hubert realizes his soul may have taken a wrong turn. Hubert beseeches Bartholomew to keep his hands to himself and help him find his rightful place in the Heaven he's always heard about. As they set out to explore his options, Bartholomew hopes Hubert will learn a thing or two along the way about the deeply personal definitions of Paradise.

Sin to Get Saved

It wasn’t until he bent to ask for Big Jimmy’s help in climbing down that he noticed the brouhaha brewing at his feet. Most of the members were gathered protectively around Big Jimmy, who was hollering himself red-faced at an equally impassioned passerby.


“…so sick of this shit!” the man—very brawny woman? Person in a sparkly ballerina tutu, at all events—was shouting. “Who asked you to come out here tonight? You think being gay’s such a sin, then don’t be it.” Would that it were that easy, Hubert lamented. “But leave us the fuck alone!” the ballerina continued.


“The Lord God Almighty, that’s who asked me to come out here tonight!” Big Jimmy retorted at the top of his voice. “The Gospel of Mark compels me: ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature!’ ‘How can they hear without someone preaching to them?’ Romans ten fourteen!”


“Your God is not the boss of me!” the ballerina hurled back. “From the Book of Kiss My Ass!”


Chapter 4