Chapter 59

The track list changed to the beautiful, affecting sounds of Bach’s Mass in B Minor.

“If she thought you should be there, she’d have asked you to go,” Philip said.

I struggled to say anything in the proceeding minutes. Then, “This guilt is eating through me.” 5

In the night, I got out of bed and traipsed down the hall to the empty guest bedroom. I heard Philip approaching. Standing in the doorway, he eyed me suspiciously, rubbing his sleepy eyes, and yawning. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” I patted the empty space beside me on the bed.

“I want to make you smile, Chris,” he said, sitting next to me.

“You do.”

“I don’t feel like I can right now.”

“It’s hard right now.”

“All we’ve got is now.”

“You make me happy every day.”

“I wish I could do more.”

We sat in silence.

“I’m sorry if I said something that upset you,” he said.

“It wasn’t you.”

“Then what is it?” he asked.

“My father and I talked in this room when he and Mom came for Christmas last year.”