Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

Jim patiently waited until they broke apart. “Hey, Mr. Truttle, how long you gonna be gone this time?”


“One night and two days. Just a quick trip to Washington and back.”


Jim smirked and crossed his arms. “Fuck, everyone knows it takes longer than that to get to D.C. and back from California.”


Mr. Truttle’s belly laugh made the boys grin. “Jim, maybe you should be a comedian, huh, but watch your language. I’m going to the stateof Washington.” He touched Jim’s red and swollen cheek. “So what exactly happened yesterday?”


Jim gazed at the ground. “He just lost his shit. Same ol’, same ol’.”


“Someday I’m going to kick that man’s carcass all the way to hell.”


“I’ll move out someday. I don’t want you to get in trouble. You’ve been so good to me over the years.” He always felt awkward talking about his situation. Words never helped, never changed a thing, except to embarrass him for being a wimp. “You be safe.”


Chapter 9