Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

Brian worked hard to suppress the laugh.


His father draped an arm around him and showed him the checkbook and register with a running balance, told him to double-check the math, and put the paid bills in folders. “It’ll take longer at first, but you’ll get the hang of it the more you do it, and I have old checks in the folder. I want you to practice signing my name until you have it perfect. I can’t risk signing checks ahead of time in case we get burglarized and the crooks steal them.”


“I might have you do it for me every month, and you’ll need to balance the checkbook every month. You don’t mind, do you?” Brian shook his head. “Awesome, son, you are totally awesome. Oh, dinner was awesome, too.”


Brian squinted and lowered his head like an animal staring down prey. “Why do you keep using that word?” He tried for his best gunslinger tone.


“Awesome? I just like it. Something wrong with it?” His bad-boy look returned.


Chapter 28