David O. Sullivan

Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

McNamara raised the gun toward Dad’s face.


The revolver’s cylinder rotated and the hammer moved back.


Action cures fear. Brian lunged, wanting to put himself between the gun and Dad, but he had no time.


Dad grabbed the man’s gun hand and leveraged back the barrel to face McNamara instead. McNamara’s face lost its color as the gun fired. He hollered.


Justus stared with an emotionless face.


Dad’s voice took on a calm but serious tone. He told Justus, “Call an ambulance and the police.”


Dad handed the gun to Brian. “Unload it.”


Brian opened the cylinder, ejected five live rounds into his hand, along with the spent casing. Now he was glad his dad had given him gun lessons.


Dad turned McNamara face down, yanked his arms behind his back, and squeezed McNamara’s wrists together with one of his huge hands.


Chapter 60