Chapter 14

I searched for something to say that would disguise my rage. “Do you always have conversations tape recorded?” I asked.

“I do with people I don’t trust. Like Casper. Or my husband.”

I fell silent. Casper and I had never said “I love you” even though it had been over a year. I thought I’d shown my devotion. I spent a moment recalling all I’d done for him.

I’d planned each month’s “anniversary.” I didn’t think it was enough to buy someone flowers. So much better to sculpt a vase on a pottery wheel, paint it, and grow roses in a community plot.

I’d cooked lavish meals for him: duck, veal, whatever he asked for. He needed sumptuous dinners for potential buyers which I wasn’t asked to stay for.

I decided not to be dramatic and cry. Instead, since I was so not dramatic I would wait for a good time to confront him. New Year’s Eve, for example.