Three times burned, Br’er Harris swears off efforts to find love. He still has needs, though, which he satisfies by becoming a paid escort. Widower Ray Cunningham wants to explore the feelings of attraction to men he’s had most of his life but has kept hidden for fear of rejection from his ultra-conservative family. Ray doesn’t want a relationship with a man; he just wants to satisfy his urges with no-strings hook-ups. And the easiest way to achieve this is to hire an escort. Ray’s first encounter is with Br’er, and they’re instantly and powerfully drawn to each other. The attraction is so powerful and disturbing, each privately vows to never see the other again. However, their feelings will not be denied. Br’er accepts a second meeting, which leads to a third, then a fourth. Despite his previous history with relationships, Br’er knows Ray is the one for him. Unfortunately, Ray’s fear of being outed to his family keeps him from being able to offer more than clandestine meetings in out of town hotel rooms. Br’er says it’s enough, but Ray knows he deserves better. Ray is faced with a decision. Can he let Br’er go to find the love he deserves, or will he be able to throw open the closet door and live openly with the man he’s hardwired to love?

Hardwired for Love

As the jet engines droned on, Ray reflected on the message conveyed by the lyrics of the song he’d heard the night before. You only have one life, and you shouldn’t have to make excuses for the way you live it. Not to live your life as who you really are makes it a sham, false, bogus. It’s not worth a damn if you have to live that way.


Ray didn’t want that. Br’er had come to mean so much to him, he couldn’t go back to living half a life. But what could he do? Could he really come out and live as freely and openly as he had in New York? He tried to think rationally about it. Was it possible?


He could get another job, one where being gay wasn’t a problem. He’d had several covert offers from secular publishing houses over the years. He could contact them and see if they were still interested in him.


Chapter 33