Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

When I asked Boone if he could help me hone my skills, he laughed. “No way, Red. Gonna be way too busy. JF told me Julie wears a bra now.”


Boone thinks I should ask his father because Johan and Nick used to play when Nick was little.


It’s hard to imagine Nick Lund as a little kid. I try picturing his eyes on a smaller face, but can’t do it. His eyes are so different from little kids’ eyes. Little kids’ eyes look like cough medicine bottles.


Nick’s eyes look like a picture I saw of a coral reef.


Except the coral reef wasn’t as beautiful.


Boone has blue eyes, too, but when he looks at me, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach.


I’m shy about asking Mr. Lund. He’s always so busy. I think that’s why Dad doesn’t like him. “That man came to our country, and he’s going around stealing people’s jobs.”


But when I asked Dad if he wanted to be a locksmith, he just glared at me.


Chapter 4