Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

I went to the dentist this morning. I was supposed to go with Mom, but she wasn’t dressed. Aunt Frannie came instead. We rode the bus together and she let me use her Walkman. Aunt Frannie works for a lawyer, and her office is on the 21st floor of a building I can see from my window. I don’t remember the name of it, though. Something Marie.


On the way back, we shared a peanut butter cup. Those are my favorites.


“Your mom’s gonna feel better soon. She’s got the blues, that’s all.”


I’m not sure what that is. It probably has something to do with blood. I read that blood is actually blue. It only becomes red when it’s out in the open. That’s my nickname. Red. A lot of people call me that. Because of my hair.


A lot of people call Nick Blue. I don’t know why, though. Maybe it’s because of his eyes. They’re so blue, they make the sky look green.


Aunt Frannie says she might move in with us. Just for a while.


Chapter 6