Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

He set his glass down, peering into my eyes. “Do you like the wine?”


He drew in a long breath. “So,” he said, staring down at his hands. “I’ve been thinking.”


My neck tensed up. Nathan was at his best when he was doing, not thinking. Every time he thought too much, we ended up doing something drastic. Like moving into a place we couldn’t afford if he ever lost his job, for example.


“Listen, Der. You know I’m not a sentimentalist.”


“But, I think me and you, we have something solid.”


I poked at my tofu, feeling my heartbeat picking up the pace.


“Hey, look at me,” he insisted softly. “No?”


I nodded. Yes. Solid. Absolutely. Like cement. I chewed on my lip. Then decided to try a bite and see if I could swallow it.


Chapter 21