Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

Unless the paper tray in the printer was empty.


“I think you’re a leader. The quiet type, but nonetheless a leader.”


The only thing I led, was a boring life and safe life.


“Well.” Goldman got to his feet. “I’m glad we talked.”


It must have been a lot of money because Aunt Frannie tucked it away in her shirt and had a big glass of Dad’s whiskey. “Oh boy,” she gasped, “we’re gonna be having a nice Christmas.”


She promised we’d get a VRC and a new snow suit for me.


Also, I think I’m turning into a pervert.


I’ve been rubbing it at night before I fall asleep. And I’ve ruined it because it keeps leaking. Except, when it squirts, it feels so good that I can’t stop doing it again. I can’t sleep if I don’t make it squirt.


It all started when I slept over at Boone’s. That was two days ago. After we got our first snow. It was the day after his birthday. November 13th.


Chapter 23