Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

I couldn’t get that tightness in my belly do go away. And it wasn’t just my belly anymore. That warm feeling had moved down into my privates. I decided to go to the bathroom.


I hurried down the hall, and on the way, listened for any voices, but heard none. Just music.


I locked myself up in the bathroom and sat on the counter with my back to the mirror.


My penis was swollen, like in the morning, but even if I wore my loose pajama bottoms, they still felt too tight. I didn’t really wanna touch it, because I know it’s a dirty thing to do. Mom says you only touch it when you wash, but I couldn’t just leave it inside my pants, it was starting to throb.


What could I do? The door was locked. I checked it twice.


I only touched it a little. Just the tip because it was wet.


My penis twitched inside my fingers and I shivered.


Chapter 27