Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

His chest heaved lightly with every deep breath he took. He has a small mark on the bottom of his neck. Looked like a scar. His right ear is pierced, but he doesn’t wear an ear ring. His thighs are bulky. Hisforearms are covered with blond fuzz.


I almost puked when my eyes got caught on his mouth. I felt sweaty.


“Here,” he said, handing me the paper. “Like this.”


I forced my eyes to look away from his face, down to the paper.


The first word I read was: Taepoons. There was a square. Then, Liert. There was a circle with four lines in the middle. When I read the last word, I caught on. Talbepoons. Three small squares.


“That’s how I do it, O’Reilly.” He cleared his throat. “You could find a way, too…I mean, for yourstuttering.”


I thought about the book on his nightstand. How many hours would it take to map out every single recipe this way? He was so persevering. I was inspired.


Chapter 38