Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

“Derek, look, kid, I know your dad had to go up north for a job. I know your mom had to be sent away for awhile. That’s a rotten deck you’re holding right now, but you never know, life might deal you a royal flush someday. Now talk to me ‘fore the doctor comes back in here.” He smiled. “Hit me with the ugliest thing you got floatin’ around in that head of yours.”


Ugly. All right then. “I beat my—myself up.”


Nothing moved between us. Officer Di Paglio’s face was like a picture. His arms hung like dead branches. Then, his chest moved forward, followed by his head. Like he was stepping out of a cookie mold. He turned around and ran some water. He filled a glass up and drank it in one straight gulp.


“Can I—I have some—a glass pl—please?”


His back was to me. “Sure thing.” Officer Di Paglio filled another paper glass and slowly turned around. His face was the color of chalk dust. He handed me the glass.


Chapter 42