Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

Nick looked over at me. “Think that’s funny, huh?” His face turned serious. That ice storm blew through his eyes again. “Yeah well. You keep Jean-Claude van Damming your ass, and they’ll be rollingyou down same as that guy. No?” He shook his head, running his tongue over his lips. “O’Reilly, keep pushin’ shit down, it keeps floatin’ back up. Only uglier. Trust me. I know.”


My gaze found the TV again, and this time, my eyes didn’t stray. Officer Di Paglio told Nick I beat myself up. Yes, he did. C’est la vie.


My hands had begun pulsing again, around the knuckles. My lips seem to have a heartbeat of their own, and my chest was very sore. I tried ignoring the sensations, but with every breath, they only grew stronger. I sunk back into the chair, easing my body into a more comfortable position, but a moan had drifted out of my throat.


Nick looked over. “Don’t feel too hot, huh?”


Chapter 44