Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

I raised my chin and Nick towered over me. His stomach was at my eye level, but I lifted my gaze to his face.


“Don’t move,” he whispered. His breath seemed short. “I don’t wanna put your eye out.” He pluckedthe tip off Aunt Frannie’s black eyeliner with his teeth. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at this.”


I held my breath, my chest feeling tighter and tighter.


Nick brought the sharp point of the black crayon to the corner of my eye and I drew back a little at the sharpness of it. “O’Reilly, no, trust me.” I could smell the lemon on his breath. “Keep your eyes wide open and keep looking up.” As he ran the tip of the eyeliner all along the edge of my eye, his hands were surprisingly steady. “Oh man. Wow.” He stepped back to assess his work. “Your eyes look fucking wicked.” He pulled me up and turned me around. “Look at yourself.”


When I caught sight of my face in the mirror, I immediately frowned.


Chapter 58