Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

“Oh,” Nick teased me, “there’s the O’Reilly I remember. All shy and charming.” He leaned in and with a sensuality that bent my knees, ran the tip of his tongue along my lips. “Hm, you taste like innocence,” he whispered. His eyes were sad again.


And I remembered the night’s confessions. “Are you okay?” I said, folding my fingers over his.


He stared into my eyes and sighed. “Not yet.”


“Why won’t you let me say those precious—”


“Because things are changing for me in a way I can’t explain to you right now. And I think that you might freak out and regret saying anything.” He looked around the bare loft, frowning. “I need to get some furniture.”


“Tell me, Nick. You can talk to me.”


“I know I can.” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead to mine. “That’s why I need you in my life.”


My mouth popped open and I stared at him with wide eyes.


“Wow,” he said, laughing nervously. “I’ve never said that to anyone before.”


Chapter 78