Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

“O’Reilly.” He brushed my hair away from my face and stared into my eyes. “Derek…I love you.”


A few days later, we made our way through the Notre Dame des Neiges cemetery, the lemon sun dripping down on our heads.


At a distance, a blue jay fitted across the summer sky.


“Do you need a minute?” Nick unfastened Spencer and helped him out of his stroller.


I watched them walk away. These two blond deities that had challenged the silence around me.


Then I let my eyes roam over Aunt Fran’s picture engraved in the tombstone. In it, she smiled and her auburn hair flowed over her shoulders, thick and wavy. “Hello,” I whispered. “It’s me, Red.”


The sound of Spencer’s giggle echoed back to me.


Chapter 84