Chapter 2

“But your sister-in-law caught up with me later and told me.”

I let out a loud sigh. “Of course she did.”

“Are you going to let me in?” He straightened and took a step closer to me. He had faint black circles under his eyes and his skin was almost translucent.

“No.” I had to force myself to decline.

“Why not, Juju?”

My heart stumbled as he used the silly old nickname. “Don’t…” The word came out as a pathetic squeakand I had to clear my throat and try again. “Don’t call me that.” I held up my hand to stop him and keep him at a safe distance. “And don’t come any closer.”

“I need to talk to you.” After a moment’s hesitation, he blurted out, “I made a mistake.”

I blinked. Fought to draw breath. “What?”

Another step closer. My trembling hand didn’t do a great job of keeping him away. “I made a mistake,”he repeated and his eyes looked like they would overflow any second.

Trapped in a surreal reality, I floated out of my body and looked at us both from the side. His tall, tense as a fiddle-string frame. My trembling chin. His twitching eye. My blank face trying to process his words.

Everything slowed down. My heart beat in slow motion and my blood trudged through my veins. He made a mistake?

I zapped back into my body. “I can’t do this now,” I whispered. “You have to go.”

“Please.” A tear spilled down his cheek.

I’d never heard him plead. I’d never experienced his uncertainty. I’d never seen him cry. I didn’t know what to do with all this new information.

“Not now.” I wished I could tell him not ever, but I wasn’t strong enough.

With a swipe to his cheek, he wiped away the evidence of his sadness. “Okay.” He deflated as if someone let all the air out of his body. “Call me when you’re ready.”

My heart raced, and I feared the glue holding it together would disintegrate and leave me with pieces rattling around inside my ribcage. My mind screamed at him, but I couldn’t force out the words.

I will never be ready. You left me.

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Blood roared in my ears.

“I still have the same number,” he said when I didn’t answer.

I must have made a gesture or sound of agreement because he nodded and started to walk away. He took a couple steps but turned back. After hesitating for a nanosecond, he got into my space, reached out, and rested his palm against my cheek. His fingers were ice cold, despite the lingering heat of the early August evening. After a moment, he snagged an errant strand of hair and tugged it lightly.

“Call me, Juju. Please, please, please.” He backed off, turned on his heel, and ran off.

2

Frozen to the porch floor, I stared out into the darkness. Trying not to be ripped in half by my desire to call Vee back or to run after him and plant my fist right on his perfect, straight nose. I did none of it. Instead, I shook out my hands and fluttered my fingers in the air.

Had that just happened? Had my ex-fiancé showed up unannounced on my doorstep and said he’d made a mistake? Or had I passed out on the couch after half a glass of wine and dreamed all of it?

With sluggish steps, I walked back inside and didn’t stop until I was back in the den. I grabbed my glass and downed the rest of its contents and grimaced as the muscles in my cheeks pulled tight. Red wine was not meant to be chugged down.

I sat, but as soon as my ass made contact with the cushion, I bounced back to standing, scooped up my empty glass, and marched to the kitchen for a refill. I pulled the cork out but didn’t pour. Instead, I fumbled for my phone, pulled up my contacts, and let my thumb hover over my brother’s number.

Shaking my head, I tossed the phone on the counter where it slid over the slick granite surface and was stopped by the bottle. I couldn’t call now while I was agitated. I had to calm down first. Taking a few deep breaths, I picked up the wine and splashed a few drops in the glass, but changed my mind. I poured it out in the sink, jammed the cork back into the bottle, and strode out of the kitchen. I grabbed my wallet and my keys and stormed out the door.

I passed by my car. Even if I hadn’t had enough alcohol to be unfit to drive, I was too rattled to be behind the wheel. So I walked. I walked and walked and walked with unseeing eyes. My heartbeat thundered in my ears. I was numb, disconnected from the world, as if someone had put a snow globe over me.