Introverted, socially awkward Jay Kirkman, known to his Grams as “Jay Bird,” is riding the ups-and-downs of youth while living with overbearing parents and dealing with the pressures of being a senior in high school. A month away from graduation, Jay hopes to flee the small upstate New York town of Milton for a life anywhere but in his dead-end hometown. He wishes for more than he has now: scholarly, eccentric parents, and watching Grams, the closest person to him, slowly dying before his eyes. His equally withdrawn but edgier best friend Rocco has a hearty appetite for drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sex. When the law comes knocking, asking questions about a crime Rocco may or may not have committed, he finds himself in big trouble and turns to Jay for help. Is Jay and Rocco’s friendship strong enough to sustain life’s tough obstacles as they navigate the highs and lows of growing up together?

Jay Bird

But then everything I had thought about Rocco erased itself from the Motherboard of my mind. He kissed me. On the mouth, a convincing, serious lip lock. We even exchanged saliva, our tongues touched.


His breath tasted like cigarettes. But I didn’t pull away. I lost my grip on my drink, and the plastic cup slipped from my hands, raspberry ice splashing on our bare legs.


When he pulled back, biting his bottom lip as if savoring the taste of me, he smiled and said, “I’m notdrunk or high or delirious. I had to do that, though. I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time. I hope I didn’t fucking scare you.”


His tough exterior was coming undone, and I liked it.


I didn’t care if anyone was watching us at that moment. I wasn’t scared. I picked up my empty plastic cup from the sidewalk and leaned into Rocco for a hug. I didn’t want to tell him that I had the same feelings for him for a very long time too, but some secrets called for discretion.


Chapter 21