Chapter 2

He gave me a cursory glance, nodded, and then simply stepped past me, walking through the porch and into my living room!

I followed him in, my face burning with humiliation and incipient annoyance. But from this position I saw that his jeans were sagging in the back, exposing white undershorts—a look that I find hot. So, when I had closed the doors and got back into the living room I was again willing and interested.

He was standing there looking around.

“Your place?”

I nodded.

“So—uh, where?”

I smiled and shrugged. “Wherever you like.”

He went over to the couch and kind of fellonto it. Leaning back, legs spread, stretched out in front, hands behind his head, he stared blankly straight ahead.

I stared, stunned. Was this all the invitation I’m going to get?

After waiting a few seconds I decided that it probably was. So, with renewed nervousness but rising excitement, I knelt between his legs and trembling fingers undid his fly.

He was only half hard, but I knew my job and, leaning forward I took the head between my lips, and began to suck.

I have always prided myself on my cocksucking technique; I tend to get good results and, afterwards, favorable reviews. So, when, after several minutes I still hadn’t managed to get the cock fully hard, I began to feel a bit unnerved. But, resisting despair, I tried harder. At last, however, I let the not-quite-hard cock slip from my mouth and looked up at the guy, for suggestions or instructions.

He looked down at me and frowned. “Um, you got any porn?”

I felt a wash of cold go through me. I knew what he meant: straight porn.

What?I found this idea deeply offensive. I mean, after all, if I was sucking his guy’s cock, then shouldn’t I get the credit, rather than some other visual stimulation?

I shook my head. “Sorry.”

His frown deepened. “How about the internet?”

“It’s off-line,” I lied.

He now looked quite annoyed, and my own face burned with fresh humiliation. I looked up at him, not knowing what to do. He was looking straight ahead again, ignoring me. And when he looked down at me again I smiled solicitously.

“Is there anything else I can do?” I was actually pleading now, for I had a sense of imminent disaster—either of him getting up and leaving, or hauling out and biffing me one for incompetence.

His eyes, locked with mine, were cold; his lips curled into a sneer. Then he looked straight ahead again.

“Just do your job—faggot!”

The last word felt like a slap that I felt through my entire body. My reaction was complex, however. My initial feelings of incipient anger and resentment were swamped by shame and humiliation, and these in turn became part of a rising tide of intoxicating sexual arousal. Thus, it was as if in a dream or under hypnotic compulsion that I lowered my head, down onto the man’s cock.

And thistime it was completely different. When I took the cock into my mouth it wasn’t so much to suck it as to worshipit. My action came from such a complete sense of my own utter worthlessness that I no longer felt any responsibility to make him hard. That, after all, I realized, would require an assumption of competence on my part, which was absurd. Who the hell did I think I was?

A faggot, I reminded myself, and as the word sounded in my mind, I felt again that rush of thoroughly intoxicating excitement.

So I repeated the word over and over in my mind, hearing his gravelly voice and enjoying a rising tide of surrender. This meant I could simply enjoy myself. And I did. I sucked and licked the fat knob with a sensuous languor, savoring the taste, shape, and heat of this man’s cock.

In short, I behaved just like a faggot. For the first time ever I found I relished the word, at least the way this man had said it. Harsh? Vicious? Perhaps. But there had been no actual hatein his tone. That seemed important. But where had the harshness come from then? I pondered as I worshipped, and suddenly it came to me—a realization that gave me a new thrill. It had been, I decided most definitely, sexual need

Wow!

At this I redoubled my efforts, wanting to respond to his male urge, to revel in it. I did this without any expectation of a response. I groveled. And oh, how wonderful that was! I felt heat between my legs rising, and I was in sudden danger of reaching orgasm when I realized that I was no longer dealing with a partial erection, but with one that was rock hard.

Jubilation flooded through me. I almost whimpered with pleasure. In my desire to merge with it I sucked, licked, and even rubbed my face against the swollen head, now slick with pre-cum, pressing one cheek and then another, then my chin and neck, before finally taking it between my lips again, and lowering my head as far down onto the shaft as I could.